The Worth of Gold
by musicnutftw
Summary: One thousand years didn't seem like such a long time when Mei decided on it all those centuries ago. However, golden kitsune never live that long. With an unfathomable price on her head, trouble always finds her, and this time, she can't make it alone. Maybe, with the help of Kurama and the rest of the gang, she actually stands a chance of reaching that 1000th year. KuramaxOC
1. Shifting

This wasn't the first time Koenma had tried to get everyone together to discuss a recent issue he'd been having. Last time, everyone had been too busy to help. This time, Kurama was the only person free, much to his own chagrin. Being alone with Koenma was never something he particularly enjoyed. The new king of Spirit World had been doing his best to clean up the mess his father had left behind, but...things seemed to keep going wrong.

"Why doesn't anyone else have time for me anymore?" Koenma pouted, crossing his arms. He was sitting on his desk, his small legs folded beneath him. When on official business, he chose to use his adult form, but when no one else was around, the toddler one suited him.

"We've all very busy lives," Kurama replied, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. It was entirely possible something serious was actually going wrong here, but they would never get to the crux of the problem if Koenma did not focus on it.

"I know, I know. This was so much easier when you were all still in school."

"Yes," Kurama deadpanned. "Missing school was much better."

Koenma sighed, shaking his head. "Your attitude is not appreciated."

 _Nor is yours._ He held his tongue. "What was it you needed us here for? I can pass any message along to the others."

"Yes, I was just getting to that." Kurama doubted it, but he didn't interrupt this time. "Someone's been stealing priceless artifacts from Spirit World."

"This would not be the first time," Kurama said.

"No, but every other time, we've had evidence of the criminal. This one leaves no trace."

Kurama frowned, reaching a hand in his pocket. He palmed some seeds he'd placed there, thinking. "Do you not have video of the intruder?"

"Well, we do, but…." Koenma sighed, reaching beneath his desk and pushing a button. "You'll have to see for yourself." A TV screen slid down from the ceiling behind him, and he turned to look as a security feed appeared on the screen. "This," Koenma said, "is inside a vault in a high-security zone."

Kurama watched as an ogre walked into the vault, grabbed the box the camera had been focused on, and walked out. Koenma changed it to another feed, and the same thing happened, but this time, it was a different ogre. The next one was one of the ferry women. She walked in as though she was meant to be there, and she walked out, completely unchallenged. No alarms set off, no guards sent running. Everything looked perfectly normal.

"Each of those people are employees of mine," Koenma said. "They all have alibis and witnesses from these times. There were no signs of forced entry, and nothing was out of the ordinary in or around these vaults."

"Is it a shapeshifter?" Kurama asked.

"That's the most likely option, but it doesn't explain how they got in completely undetected. Whatever guards we place outside the vaults don't remember anyone breaking in or anyone coming out. The cameras in the halls corroborate their claims. Whoever or whatever we're dealing with is good at their job."

Kurama frowned, crossing his arms. "Do you expect another robbery?"

"As long as there are priceless items here, there's a chance. So far, the thief has only targeted things of material value. Nothing powerful has been stolen, but I can't discount that possibility. I was hoping that you and the others might be able to investigate."

"I can certainly take a look," Kurama replied, "but it will have to be brief. I have plans with my family this evening."

"Thank you, Kurama. I'm glad I can count on you."

Kurama bowed to Koenma before turning to leave. For the most part, the reason he'd agreed to this was to satisfy his own curiosity. What kind of shapeshifter could get in an out of a place like this completely undetected? To his knowledge, demons who could take on the forms of others couldn't completely disguise or extinguish their presence. There had to have been some kind of sign someone had been there.

An ogre escorted Kurama to one of the vaults that had been stolen from, and Kurama did some digging around, but to no avail. It was entirely possible it had just been too long since the crime had been committed. All traces, if there ever were any, were gone.

…

"Yo, Mei!"

The banging on my door feels like it's inside my head as I sit up. It's dark, and it takes me a second to orient myself. When I do, I leap to my feet, stumbling over my futon as I race to the door. Yanking it open, I immediately bow to the person on the other side.

"Boss wants to see you," Hata says.

I nod, stepping past him and out into the street. Slipping down a few back alleys that even the light of day can't fully brighten, I knock out a slow rhythm on a rusty metal door. A few seconds later, it opens into complete darkness. Stepping inside, the door closes behind me, completely blinding me. This always unnerves me enough to almost want to change into something else, but I can't risk it where others might see.

Walking forward, I hold a hand out, moving slowly and steadily until my fingers bump into another door. I pull it open, ready for the blinding light on the other side. The drop in temperature chills my weak human body, but this is nothing new. Squinting a little, I look up at the small group of people assembled here.

They're all demons of varying sizes and types, some with horns, some with tails, and some with wings. One demon out of the bunch looks as human as I do, not that that's saying an awful lot. At least his body is entirely his own.

I bow as low as I can before standing upright, keeping my eyes down. The stares of the other demons bore into my skin, but none is quite as fierce as Boss.

"You're late." Boss looks like a Japanese male, with black hair and dark brown eyes. Whether that's a form he chose for himself or how he naturally grew, I'll never know, but it certainly makes fitting in in Japan much easier than it is for his cohorts. He walks toward me, and I stay as I am, not responding. I know better than to speak unless he asks a question.

"You did a good job yesterday. Koenma doesn't suspect a thing, according to my sources." Boss puts a hand on my shoulder, but still I don't move. I'm not afraid of him. I've faced demons far crueler and more inclined toward violence. That doesn't mean he isn't dangerous. He is intelligent and cunning; I can never tell what he's thinking.

"Lay low for a while. I'll contact you when I need you again. Understood?"

"Yes," I reply, taking a step back.

"Mei. Eyes."

The last thing I want to do is comply, but I swallow before looking up, meeting those dark, discerning eyes of his. He holds my gaze, and I can't look away, even as he presses a single finger under my chin, tilting my head to one side.

"A bruise," he says, his voice soft and low. "You need to take better care of yourself."

I take another step back, just enough so that he isn't touching me anymore. "I know."

He regards me for a long moment before turning away. "Dismissed." Waving a careless hand over one shoulder, he sends me off.

He doesn't have to tell me twice. I slide out of the room, making my way back into the relative safety of sunlight. Walking faster than I need to, I step out of the back streets, making my way over to a bench in the heart of town. Putting my head between my knees, I take slow, deep breaths, trying to rid myself of the memory of his eyes staring right through me.

Sometimes, I fear he knows what I really am, that somehow, he knows I'm not a human, but a fox in disguise. If that's the case, he's playing a long game, and I wish I knew what his moves were. As it is, he makes me feel like I'm playing chess blind against a master.

Sighing, I get to my feet, stretching. It would only be fair to have someone toying with me at this point in my life, especially considering I've been doing much of the same for quite some time. In the end, all I have to do is make sure I come out the winner.

It's a perfectly average spring morning, the air warm and inviting, just like the year before and the year before, on back as far as I can remember. The cherry blossom trees have lost their bloom, and the world is an explosion of greenery, fresh and full of life. It's times like this when humans like to be outside, for whatever reason. Personally, I prefer colder weather. It provides more opportunities to be alone.

I've no idea what time it is and have nothing to do until noon, so I sit on that bench, eyes closed, just taking in the world for a while. Even in this human body, I can feel the energy of the passersby, the life force of each tree and animal, even down to the insects, everything going about the messy business of life without a care in the world. No one pays any mind to the woman sitting on the bench.

My stomach rumbles, and I open my eyes, blinking back the yellowish glow of the people around me until my vision returns to normal. I haven't eaten yet today, so I get to my feet, walking down the street and into a bakery. With quick fingers, I steal a few pieces of bread before making my way to the library.

Books don't hold my interest in the same way they used to. There's something about knowledge gleaned from written word that often doesn't line up with what is necessary for survival. It's been a long time since I've read anything for the sake of learning. However, it's interesting to see what others are learning and what concepts they're trying to grasp.

That's my secondary goal. My primary goal is to meet up with my one human friend. Every day, on her lunch break, this is where we spend our time, talking about everything and nothing. She likes to tell me about her world, her two sons and her husband. She also likes to ask me about mine. It makes me wish I had anything I could really tell her. _Oh, I robbed the king of Spirit World yesterday. Yes, I do work for a demon crime lord. By the way, I'm also a 999 year old fox demon._ Right.

I settle down at our usual table, reading my personal favorite book in the library, _A Comprehensive Study of Japanese Mythology._ In it lies all sorts of information and misinformation about demons and youkai; my favorite chapters are the ones involving kitsune in all our different forms and alignments. The information, while mostly accurate, is biased towards us, which I find amusing. It speaks very little about the trouble fox demons get into or the trouble we cause.

"Anything new this time?"

I look up from my book, into the smiling face of my friend, Shiori. She's a human woman approaching middle age, although she doesn't really look it. By human standards, she's not unattractive, though the scars along her arms might be a bit off-putting to some. I'd asked her about them once, and she'd told me she got them while protecting her child. They don't bother me. I've seen much worse.

"Same old," I reply to Shiori as she takes the seat across from me. "How are you, today?"

"Doing well," she says, smiling. "And you?"

"I'm all right."

"You're looking a bit skinnier, lately. Are you eating enough?"

This, she's making up, as this form never changes. "Yes, thank you. I really am doing just fine." I barely eat, but not from lack of hunger. The money Boss pays me for what I do is enough, but the idea of using it turns my stomach worse than not eating. I already owe him for saving my life. I don't want to feel any more indebted to him than I am. When I need to eat, I usually steal it, though never in large, missable amounts. People have their own lives they need to support.

"All right, all right." Shiori smiles at me, and I sigh. She's such a mother, through and through. Any stereotypes you could apply to a good mother would go to this woman. She even mothers other people's children. A tiny part of me wishes I could admit to myself that I really don't mind. My own mother never treated me this kindly.

"How is your family?

Her eyes absolutely light up as I ask this, and I find myself smiling. The easiest way to make Shiori happy is to talk or ask about her husband or her children.

"Shuichi's always telling me I work too hard. We all had dinner together last night, and he scolded me for how tired I looked."

Her older son, Shuichi, was the child of a previous marriage. His father had died when he was young, but apparently he'd taken to Shiori's current husband very well. He even called him his father and referred to his step-brother as his brother.

"That sounds par for the course," I reply. "When is he not telling you that?"

She smiles in return, saying, "Never. He's always worried I'm going to overwork myself, no matter how much I assure him I'm fine."

"He seems to mother you," I tell her. "I don't think that will ever change."

"I'm sure you're right," she says. "It's nice to know he cares, but he's stealing my thunder."

I chuckle. "Perhaps you should tell him that."

"Oh, never. I would hate for him to think I didn't appreciate it."

The rest of our conversation goes back and forth like this for a while, with me steering it very much in her direction. I'm not in the mood for talking about myself today...or most days. When her lunch break is over, we part ways, her back to work and me anywhere but here. I spend the rest of the day wandering around town, aimless.

When it starts getting dark, I figure it's safe to go home. The odds of anyone waiting around for me get slimmer and slimmer as the night begins to progress. For some reason, my one-room apartment attracts other demons under Boss' employ. At least if I'm not home, they can't try to barge in.

"Hey, girl." A hand falls on my shoulder, gripping tightly. I stop walking, taking a slow, deep breath. Turning slowly, I raise my eyes to find a large human leering down at me. "Where you going, huh?" There's another human with him, a slightly smaller one, though his expression is no less disgusting.

"Home," I reply, my heart beginning to beat a little faster.

"Why don't you get some food with us?" the smaller human says. "We'll treat ya."

"No, thank you." I try to shake off the grip of the large man, but it's tight.

"Aw, don't be that way," he says. "We just want to treat a lovely lady."

"I've got somewhere else to be," I say, reaching my hand up to his and pinching and twisting the skin of his finger as hard as possible. He yelps, releasing me just enough that I can slip from his grip and run.

"Hey! Get back here!" They start to chase me, but as I round a corner, I shift into a teenage human girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, leaning against the wall of the nearest shop. The two men run past me, looking angry. Once they're out of sight, I let out a breath, running a hand over my face. Why can't people just leave me alone?

"That's an interesting trick."

I jump, whipping my head to my right to see a man standing there, a curious expression on his face. His green eyes are clear and full of thoughts I can't begin to comprehend at a glance. It takes me a moment to tear my own eyes from his, a shiver tripping down my spine. I hate meeting people's eyes. It brings nothing but trouble.

"I'm sure it fools a lot of people," he adds, the curious expression turning to an easy smile. At least, that's likely how he wants it to look. I still don't speak, and he says, "Demons are more common in Living World now, but you still ought to be more careful who you shapeshift in front of. It's dangerous to telegraph and ability like that so clearly."

"Yes," I say at last. Normally, I am much more careful. There had been no presence when I'd first turned the corner, so where he came from, and why at the exact worse moment, I do not know. What I do know is that I want to be anywhere but here. This man's eyes remind me of Boss'. They're inscrutable and very clearly staring through me.

"Have a good night," he says, nodding his head at me before walking past. I stand there, watching him go with an uneasy feeling. Observant people are far too dangerous for their own good or the good of anyone they involve themselves with. I know this personally.

Once he's out of sight, I take a good look around before changing back into my normal human guise, heading home. Nothing that man had said was incorrect. It had been nearly seven years since the barrier between Living and Demon World had been brought down, and a somewhat steady flow of demons had begun making their way into Living World. Demons were more common now than they'd ever been before, but the didn't mean people trusted or wanted to be around them. Especially not a shapeshifter who could just as easily look like their brother one moment and their lover the next.

When I get to my place, I open the door, hoping to slip quietly inside, but a foot sticks itself between the door and the frame as I try to close it.

"Mei-tan!"

I flinch, taking a step back as the door is forced open, revealing four demons on the other side. One of them is Hata from this morning. The others are Daisuke, Ono, and Kenta. Kenta is the one who spoke and who is sporting a huge smile.

"Yo," Hata says. "We're here to crash your place."

"You don't mind, do you Mei-tan?" Kenta asks, reaching for my hand, his eyes as puppy dog as he can manage.

I move my hands out of his reach, taking a step away. "You have nowhere else you can do this?"

"Your place is the best!" he cheers. Kenta grins as he and the others settle around the low table, the only piece of furniture aside from my futon in this place.

I wish I had the strength to kick them all out at this very moment. However, I couldn't afford to make enemies of the closest things to friends I had for coworkers. _Don't rock the boat. Don't make a mess. Keep your head down, and you'll stay alive._ An old acquaintance of mine had first told me that, shortly before he was killed. It's the rule I've tried my best to live by ever since. If only the universe would stop trying to get me involved in things far over my head.

"Do as you wish," I mumble, pushing my futon as close to the wall, as far away from them as I can manage.

"You ought to play a few games with us some time," Ono says, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

"I'd rather not," I reply. "I'm incapable of not cheating."

"Something something future-seeing," Daisuke says, shaking his head. "Right?"

"Close enough."

"If that's the case, why do you still lose?" Ono asks.

"Mei-tan's too nice," Kenta pouts. "She doesn't want to rob us blind, so she loses on purpose."

"For real?" Hata asks me.

"I have no idea what he's talking about," I say, picking up the same book I'd been reading at the library and flipping to a page I have dogeared.

"Why the hell do you read that thing?" Ono gripes. "It's trash."

"You're just mad because it calls you an imp demon," Daisuke jokes, making Ono shoot him a death glare.

"Now, now," Kenta says. "There's nothing wrong with being an imp demon."

"I'm not an imp!" Ono growls. "I'm a terrifying monster."

"With cute little wings, and a pointy tail," Daisuke adds.

"I swear, I will murder you in your sl-"

"There is _nothing wrong with being an imp_ ," Kenta interrupts, his voice loud, his tone dangerous. Kenta is an imp demon himself, little wings and all, and he's proud of it.

"Sorry, Kenta," Daisuke says. "There's nothing wrong with the kind of demon you guys are."

Ono doesn't say anything at first, but after everyone stares at him for a solid minute, he grumbles, "I'm sorry."

"Good, now let's play!" And just like that, Kenta's back to being the far-too-happy demon he's been ever since the first day I met him. I can still remember, as clearly as though it was yesterday how strange a figure he cut, standing beside Boss, introducing himself and calling me Mei-tan. That was also the first time I'd heard Boss laugh. I never blamed him. What kind of grown man calls someone else "-tan"?

The guys play late into the night, and eventually, they start falling asleep. When everyone is asleep save for Kenta and myself, he starts picking up the cards they'd been using, a small smile on his face. As much as his brightness puts me off, he's a very kind, caring sort of demon. He reminds me of Shiori in that way.

"You can just leave them here," I say to him when he goes to rouse the others. "As long as they don't stay in the morning, it doesn't bother me."

Kenta smiles warmly at me. "Do you know, as cold as you come across sometimes, you're really very sweet."

"I try not to be very anything," I reply.

"Yes, yes, I know," he says. "You do your best to never stir the pot. However, one of these days, you may not have a choice about that."

"Been there, done that," I mumble, setting my book aside and pulling my legs up to my chest. "I'd like to just be able to relax for a little while."

"Your skills are far too valuable for that," he says. "Boss told me he thinks you're the best thief we've ever had."

"I wish I wasn't." I press my face into my knees, willing my mind to blank. Instead, I see a pair of dark brown eyes, making me sit up, a shiver racing down my spine.

"There's nothing wrong with being good at something," Kenta says. "I don't understand where this attitude of yours comes from, but I wish you would really look at yourself sometimes. You're much stronger and cleverer than you give yourself credit for. You've managed to entirely charm Boss, you know."

"Don't joke like that," I grunt, shaking my head. "If that's the case, I've done a miserable job of flying under the radar."

"It's hard to do that when you're so talented. Boss recognizes that in people, and he respects them for it."

"Remind me not to try as hard anymore," I say.

"Only if you want to get killed," Kenta adds. "You should know well enough now that people who don't deliver consistently and well don't last long with us."

"Yes," I say, sighing. "I am aware."

"You're a good kid," he says to me, and I have to suppress the urge to huff. I'm older than him by a half century, but because he's higher in the chain of command, he feels the need to treat me like a child. Not that he knows how old I am. "You just need to let yourself shine."

I don't respond, and he sighs. "Or not. It's entirely up to you. Have a good night." With that, he leaves. Now, it's just me and the guys who're sleeping. I pick up my book again, but I can't focus on the words. They swim in front of my eyes for a while before I just set it down, curling up under my blanket.

It takes a very long time before I can fall asleep, and when I do, I dream of piercing green and deep brown eyes.

* * *

A/N: Well, this is a new adventure, that's for certain. I'm not 100% sure where this is going to go, but I'm hoping it's going to be much shorter than the other long-going fic I'm writing. Anyway, that's all I have for the start. Thanks for reading!


	2. Sticky Fingers

Kurama sat in front of Yusuke and Kuwabara, listening to them argue as usual. It had been some time since they'd traded blows, but that didn't stop them from fighting in other ways.

"Yeah, well, at least I'm not some eggheaded dweeb," Yusuke said.

"That the best you've got, Urameshi?" Kuwabara asked him. "I'm getting an education, and I'm proud of that fact."

"Someone has to be," Yusuke replied.

"You're right. One of us has to get an education, since you skipped out so hard."

"This seems like as good a place as any," Kurama interrupted, "to end this. You're both foolish, and you know that."

"Geez, Kurama, pull back the teeth, why don't you?" Yusuke said, smiling.

Fox jokes. Second only to jokes about his "seed", they were Yusuke's favorites. While the jokes were not lost on him, they were humorous the first twenty times. After nearly eight years of knowing each other, they had gotten stale.

"Haha, very funny, Urameshi," Kuwabara grumbled.

"Please, don't start again," Kurama said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You all right, man?" Yusuke asked. "You seem a little tense."

A little was an understatement, for certain, but he didn't really feel like getting into details. "Things are going a bit wrong at work, and it has me a bit vexed. It's nothing to be worried about, really."

"If you say so," Yusuke replied. "Lemme know if there's any way I can help, all right?"

That was Yusuke in a nutshell. One minute, he was wisecracking and the next he was being as genuine as any human could ever be. It was just that dichotomy of personality that kept Kurama friends with him. Aside from all their shared experiences, anyway.

"I appreciate the offer," Kurama said. "However, the only help I need at present is in dealing with Koenma."

"Oh, that's right!" Kuwabara shouted. "How did that go?"

It had been about a week since Kurama had spoken with Koenma in Spirit World about the thief. The king had kept in touch, but there hadn't been any further robberies, and Kurama didn't really know what Koenma expected from him. He couldn't exactly catch someone who wasn't there or didn't leave a trace. At least, certainly not alone.

"It was painful, if you must know. Koenma doesn't get any easier to deal with on his own terms."

"Well," Yusuke said, taking the pencil Kuwabara had set down and balancing it on his nose, "you just have to make it on your terms, then."

Kurama was getting a lecture on how to manipulate people from one of the most guileless humans in existence. Next thing he knew, Kuwabara would be telling him the best ways to steal from people or something like that. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Were it only that simple. Koenma hasn't been very good at listening to anyone since he took over from his father."

"You're not wrong," Yusuke said, the pencil falling with a clatter onto the table. Kuwabara snatched it away from him, grumbling, but Yusuke just shrugged. "Who would be dumb enough to steal from Spirit World right now?"

"Someone who is either very confident in their skills or is trying to test the new security under Koenma's rule," Kurama replied. This he'd given a bit of serious thought to, and those were the only reasons he could think of. Still, it felt like there were pieces he was missing. Only further evidence would be able to tell more certainly.

"I've been itching for a new case," Yusuke said. "Working for Toddler Breath was a pain in the ass, but at least it kept me busy."

"I'm going to be in Spirit World again next week to look over some things," Kurama said. "You're welcome to join me, if you'd like."

…

Trouble, trouble, trouble. How is it, no matter how hard I try to avoid it, I'm always getting into it? This time, it's demons from a rival group who don't like Boss and the way he does things. Why that means they have to take it out on me is beyond my understanding, but here I am, running. I avoid fights where I can, and at present, this seems the best option.

Ducking around a corner, I slip, landing on my side and skinning my palm. Wincing, I jump to my feet, running again.

"Get back here, you little bitch!" one of the goons shouts, but obviously I have no intention of doing so. It's been a long, boring week, thankfully, but apparently, I've used up all my good luck.

 _Just keep moving._ I end up taking a dead end, but I know there's no time to turn back. The only other option is…. Looking up at the wall, I cringe. Climbing, apparently. Digging my fingers into the divets in the brick, I force my demon energy into my arms, letting it trickle down into my hands. I scale the wall, sitting atop it for a brief moment, trying to catch my breath. This is miserable.

"The other side!" someone shouts from beneath me, and I grimace. I don't have time to stay here, or they'll trap me on both sides.

I scurry over the wall, my hand slipping, sending me to the pavement. It's not a big fall, but it is a good eight feet. I skin my arm and a large portion of my leg against the brick on the way down, and when I land, I feel my ankle twist. This is bad.

Grimacing, I push myself up, using the wall as support. If I stay like this, I won't be able to get away. Raising a hand in the air, there's an accompanying gust of wind, a leaf floating down between my fingers. Closing my eyes, I concentrate on the leaf, letting the transformation I haven't done in at least a decade take me over. When I open my eyes again, the world is alive with spiritual energy.

In my demon form, I can see the very life force of Living World if I so desire, every living thing and the amount of energy it possesses apparent to my purple eyes. All it takes is a little bit of effort, and the pulsating flow of energy fades into the background, my vision focusing on the world around me again. Snapping my fingers, I summon several kitsunebi, gingerly situating them so that I'm sitting atop the little balls of light.

 _Let's go._ Up, up, and out they take me, high above the city. I can see the thugs who'd been chasing me round the corner, and I sigh. I'd barely made it out in time. If they'd caught me, I would have had to fight, and that would have gotten messy.

I make sure the coast is clear about a block from my apartment before I touch down and change back into the human guise I've been using. It takes me a while to limp back to my apartment, but this way, I can keep my secret safe a bit longer. Thankfully, no one is around when I get home, so I step inside, closing and locking the door tightly. I collapse onto my futon, careful not to get any blood on it. I'm not even sure I own first aid supplies. However, it can wait until I've slept a bit. Using that much energy when I'm not used to it makes me want to curl up in a ball and sleep for days. It's more likely to be a few hours.

I sigh, closing my eyes to let exhaustion take me.

When I wake again, it's to a sharp pain in my ankle. I try to sit up, only for a hand to press my shoulder into my futon.

"Don't move. I'm bandaging."

The sound of that voice has the exact opposite effect intended. I don't know how I move that fast in the state I'm in, but before I can blink, I've moved as far away as I can in this tiny room, leaving an unraveling bandage before me, along with a mildly vexed demon.

Boss sighs, getting to his feet. "I said, don't move."

This time, his tone is more a command than a request, and I freeze as he walks over to me, kneeling down and proceeding to bandage my ankle again. Every time his fingers touch my skin, I have to refrain from flinching. Kenta's words from last night come to mind, and I swallow hard, my unease increasing exponentially.

"There." He gingerly sets my leg down, looking up at me. "What happened?"

A question. "I fell." My answer.

"I gathered as much. Why?"

His gaze bores into me, as I say, "I was being chased. I got careless." Why is he in my apartment? How did he get in? Why was he just touching me without waking me? Everything about this situation makes my skin crawl.

"Hm."

No more questions. No more attempts to touch me. I think he's testing me, and I dislike it immensely. Whenever I'm around him, I feel like I'm traversing a minefield. It's impossible to know what exactly will set him off.

"Why are you here?" I ask him, slowly pulling my hurt leg closer to my body. The smaller I am, the less there is for him to stare at with those dark dark eyes. I've been looking down this entire time, and even now, I won't meet his gaze.

"Am I not allowed to check on those in my employ?" he asks. Silence meets his words, and he sighs. "There's blood outside your door. I was walking by and saw it."

While more believable, I'm still suspicious. I don't recall having really been bleeding enough to have left traces, but I could have been mistaken. Regardless, he shouldn't be in my house while I'm not conscious. I trust Kenta and the others. I do not trust Boss.

"Mei, you need to be more careful. You're too valuable to our operations to be getting injured." When I don't say anything, he adds, "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir."

He lets out a huffy breath before saying, "Mei. Eyes." I look up at him, my stomach twisting into knots at the look in his eyes. It's almost...hungry. "Hisashi."

I frown, uncertain what he means.

"My name," he says. "When we're alone, you don't have to call me 'sir' or 'Boss'. Call me Hisashi."

It's been about a year since I started working under him, and not once have I heard anyone speak his actual name. Knowing it now doesn't make me happy. It only serves to solidify the feeling that's settling into the very pit of my stomach. I look down, hoping he'll just drop it but knowing better at the same time.

"Mei." His voice is low and breathy as he uses a knuckle to lift my chin so I have to stare into those terrible eyes. "Say it."

That's a direct command. He's not giving me a choice, but I knew that was the direction this was going all along. _Get it over with_. "Hisashi."

The knuckle under my chin turns into a caress as he brushes his finger against my chin, and I have to resist the urge to flee. _Don't move. Don't encourage him_. Boss seems like the kind of man who would enjoy a chase. If I don't give it to him, I hope he'll grow bored and leave me be.

"That wasn't so hard, was it, Mei?"

I wish he would stop saying my name. I'll never say his again if I can help it.

"Have you eaten?" he asks. "I can make you something, if you'd like." He gets to his feet, moving away. As much as I'm glad for the distance, something occurs to me too late.

"Wait!" I try to spring to my feet, clearly forgetting my ankle. What results is the worst possible set of circumstances. My hand latches onto the tail of his shirt, and he turns as I put weight on my foot, sending me tumbling into him. He loses his own footing, and we both fall to the ground, me landing on top of him.

I grit my teeth, trying to ignore the shooting pain and push myself off of him, but his hands are tight on my back, holding me there.

"Are you all right?" he asks, his voice close to my ear.

"Fine!" I grunt, pushing as hard as I can with no leverage. He releases me, and I roll off of him, disgusted and mortified with myself. _Too much too much too much._

"You're a mess," he states, rubbing the back of his head.

"You're all right?" I ask, my voice tight. I didn't want to ask, but it would have been more dangerous not to. This whole situation screams of danger.

"Yes, I'm fine. What was that about?"

I look down at my ankle, my hands balled into fists. "There's no food here." He doesn't respond for a long moment, clearly waiting for more, but I don't offer anything else. My skin feels like it's crawling where it touched his, and I find I'm having trouble keeping my head clear, my face expressionless. _You've managed to entirely charm Boss_. Please, no. Just go away.

"I think I pay you enough for you to live in a place better than this," he says after an uncomfortable amount of silence. "Why do you stay here?"

"It's close to the others," I reply, still looking at my ankle.

He sighs, getting to his feet. "After your next heist, I'm going to move you."

 _What?_ I grit my teeth, swallowing hard. It takes everything in me not to run at this exact moment. This is bad. Very, very bad.

"You'll take a spare room in my home." Silence meets his words, but I think he's expecting it this time. "I expect you to be well enough to do your job next week. Until then, rest. I'll send Kenta over to you later." With that, he leaves, shutting the door behind him.

I bite my tongue as hard as I can, wincing when it starts to bleed a little. Slowly, gently, I get to my feet, using the wall to limp my way back over to my futon. I curl up under the covers again, wanting to pretend none of today happened.

 _Now, I'm in over my head._

Time passes. I'm not sure if I fall asleep or not, but when there's a knock on my door, I flinch. _No, please. Just go away._

"Mei-tan?" The door opens slowly, and I curse myself. I never locked the door at Boss left. "Hey, Mei-tan? I know you're awake."

I slowly sit up, looking over at Kenta. He's carrying a few bags, and the smell of hot food washes over me, making my stomach rumble miserably. It's been a while since I've last eaten, but enough of me knows that this was likely Boss' doing to make me want to reject it out of principle. The rest of me, the more logical rest of me, would much rather survive.

"I've brought good food," he says, setting the things he's brought on the low table. "Do you think you can make it over here on your own?"

I nod, dragging myself as best I can, careful to avoid further injuring myself. I sit with my legs stretched out, waiting patiently for Kenta to pull everything from his bag. It's Chinese food, with different chicken, beef, pork, white rice, and veggies. Once he's set it out, he passes me a paper plate and some chopsticks.

"Dig in!" he cheers, grinning.

I do as he says, eating slowly at first, but at some point, my brain shuts off and my body takes over. I'm nearly shoveling food in before I even realize Kenta isn't eating. I stop, looking up at him. The expression in his green eyes is sad, and I feel my chest pinch tightly.

"Something wrong?" he asks me.

"With you."

He stares in surprise for a moment before a weak chuckle escapes him. "You're too good at reading me," he says. "I can't hide from you." Sighing, he picks up his chopsticks, looking at them. "Boss told me he'd come to check on you. He asked me to do the same and bring you food. When he said this to me, I...I was worried. He looked the same as always, but I had a feeling he'd done something to you. I'm not really sure why. The way you've been acting made me think, perhaps, I was right."

I shake my head, knowing exactly what he's referring to. "He didn't do anything like that. He...he came in while I was sleeping. He bandaged my leg. He…."

"He did something that has you very frightened," Kenta says, frowning. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Biting my lip, I set my chopsticks down, worried my tight grip might snap them in two. "He asked me to call him by his name and told me...he's going to make me move in with him, in a spare room."

Kenta slams his fist on the table, making me jump. "Ah, sorry, Mei-tan. I'm so sorry. This is bad. This is very bad. I've known Boss for 50 years, and he's never done this before. He must really have a thing for you."

"I don't know what to do," I whisper, my voice tight.

"Let me think. When did he say this would happen? The move, I mean?"

"After the next time I steal from Spirit World."

Kenta taps his chopsticks on the table, and I watch them move, looking for something, anything, to distract me. It's getting hard to breathe.

"I'll help you," he says. "I don't know just what we'll do yet, but I'll get you out of this, somehow."

I shake my head. "Don't get yourself in trouble. I'll figure this out or I'll just deal with it. I've been through worse than the attentions of someone like Boss."

Kenta sighs, his drumming coming to an immediate halt. "You shouldn't have to," he replies.

"It'll be fine," I say. _Just a few more months. I only need a couple of months, and then it won't matter anymore._ "I won't let this break me." _Not again. Not like this._

"I know you won't," Kenta says, a smile finally breaking out on his face. "Well, I guess I should start eating before this gets cold on me."

So, we eat, and he talks. I listen to all his stories, even the ones he's told me ten times before, with a small smile on my face. The kind of people who can fill a silence always impress me, both with the fact they feel it needs to be filled and the fact that they do it so well. Kenta has never let an awkward silence fall between us. He's always got something to say, some way to distract me from my problems. He would be my favorite person were it not for how close he is to Boss. It's hard to completely and unequivocally trust everything he says. That doesn't stop me from wishing I could.

…

King Koenma's vaults aren't guarded very well. Even with the multitude of ogres under his employ, they're not doing a good job. If I can sneak in as one of them, without being questioned, this should go over without a hitch. Last time, I had chosen a ferrywoman, but I had gotten more strange looks than I was comfortable with. Today, it was back to the original plan.

Leaf in hand, I transform into a red ogre and make my way through the hallways, head down. If anyone had asked, I'd have told them I was on business from Koenma. No one does. Who would question another ogre in a place so full of them? Someone who had been robbed from multiple times recently, I would think. However, I can't exactly curse my good luck so far.

When I reach the vault, two ogres wait outside it, clubs in hand. They don't look like the brightest of creatures, but I won't take any chances. I transform into a flea, hopping steadily toward the vault door. It's sealed shut, but that doesn't mean I can't get in or out if I'm small enough.

Koenma's vaults are sensitive to certain kinds of demon energy. That doesn't apply to demons aligned with heavenly demon energy like myself. If he'd done that, he would have kept himself out. He'd clearly been banking on the idea that there are precious few demons like me in the world. It honestly isn't a bad bet, but it's one he's going to lose, regardless.

I slide under the door, transforming into one of the guard ogres on the other side. The item I'm stealing this time is an amulet that has the ability to shroud the user in darkness when worn. It wouldn't be a bad thing to use in future thefts, if someone needed it.

Raising a hand over it, I take slow, deep breaths, searching for its energy. Magical objects like this have traces of the energy from those who enchanted them still left inside. That means, all I have to do is replicate that energy signal in order to replace the object and get away clean. It's not just bodies that I can transform into. I can also take on other kinds of energy as well. This I do as I carefully recreate the energy from this amulet.

When I'm done, I swap the mass of energy I've made with the amulet, pocketing it. _Mission success._ I walk away from the pedestal and toward the door, my skin suddenly tingling. Someone is using their energy on the other side of the door. I press a hand to it, focusing on the sounds from the other side.

"No, Koenma," a voice says. It sounds...familiar. But who would I know that could possibly be here, addressing the King of Spirit World this way?

"I knew that," another voice says. This one is Koenma, I know. Who is that other voice?

"I will look around, but as far as I can tell, your security is fine for normal threats. If this thief is abnormal, you'll need to take different measures against him."

I grit my teeth, transforming into a flea again. I need to get out of here, and fast. Waiting until the voices disappear, I slip out from the bottom of the door, making my way down the hall as quickly as I can hop. When I hop around a corner, I freeze, looking up to find the green-eyed man from two weeks ago. He's the one who watched me transform.

He's staring down at the ground, a serious expression on his face. _No way. There's no way_. Has he sensed me? As he bends down, running a hand over the carpet, I leap out of the way, surprised. _This is bad._ I need to get out of here.

As he moves his foot over where I currently am, I transform into a lizard, darting out of the way and down the nearest hall. His footsteps follow me, so I turn into a flea again and slip under the nearest door. Listening with all my might, I hear him pass by this room, and I take a few seconds to breathe. All I have to do is leave the grounds. Once I get outside, I can generate a portal that will take me back to Living World. I just need to leave.

That's when a crazy idea strikes me. _Please, please work._ Taking a slow, deep breath, I slip back out of the door, making sure no one is watching me before I transform into the green-eyed man who'd been chasing me. Judging by the way he spoke to King Koenma, I have a feeling he gets the run of the place. No one will question me walking by, right? Unless I run into this man again…. _This is so stupid._ I've made better decisions, but it's either this or get stepped on. If they've noticed the amulet has gone missing, they'll check the tapes and question the staff. It's not safe to pretend to be any of them anymore.

I start walking down the hall, back the way I came, making a calm, composed beeline for the front door. So far, it's going fine. No one suspects me, and a few of the employees either nod to me or shrink away like they're afraid. _Who is this guy?_ Aside from his very strange energy signature, I know nothing about him.

"Kurama!" That's Koenma's voice. No one else is in the hallway, so is he talking to me? "Kurama, hold on a second."

I freeze in place, turning to look at the toddler king himself. "What is it?" I ask. The first time the voice of someone new comes out of my mouth used to startle me, but I've taken on so many different forms that it's old hat now.

"Where are you going? I thought you were going to look the place over some more?"

Apparently, this guy hasn't told Koenma the he suspects me. Does that mean I was wrong before? No. He definitely knew something wasn't right. Why did he not tell anyone?

"I am," I reply. "I was going to check the perimeter to see if there are any signs of entrance from the outside."

"That's smart, Kurama. All right, well, tell me if you see anything."

"Of course." With that, I turn and walk away, internally sighing in relief. That could have gone much worse. Making my way down the hall, I can see the door in front of me. I could run. Perhaps I should. As I make up my mind to do so, I pass another hallway, eyes wide as I see who's coming toward me from that direction. It's the green-eyed man: Kurama.

I bolt for the door, but before I can make it, a sharp pain races through my skull, two words sounding in my ears. Turning to face the real Kurama, in tandem, we both pull a rose from the same place, shouting, "Rose Whip!"

In my hands now is a many foot long whip made from the stem of a rose, covered in sharp thorns. This is one strange weapon. It's probably rather heavy, but this man wields it with ease. Thankfully, that means I too will have no trouble holding it. Whether I can use it or not is another question. Copying energy is easy. Copying techniques honed over countless years is much less so.

He raises an eyebrow at my weapon, and I can't tell if he's impressed or surprised. Either way, when he lashes out at me, I barely manage to block in time. It doesn't take him more than a tenth of a second to process this, and he lowers the whip.

"Who are you, and what do you want?" he asks.

I shake my head, taking a step back. "I don't want any trouble. I'm just doing my job."

"If you didn't want trouble, you've picked the wrong profession."

He's not wrong, and we both know it. "I don't have a choice anymore."

"There's always a choice. Just give back what you've stolen."

He wouldn't understand. If I fail here, I forfeit my life. If I succeed, this man will probably hunt me down with the same end result. There's no winning here.

"Kurama! What is going on!"

It's Koenma's voice. The smallest distraction, catching his attention in the smallest way, is all I need. Grabbing the amulet, I activate it, shrouding myself in darkness, covering the hallway and my escape. I change into a dog, running as fast as four legs will carry me, right out the door and through the portal I summon, right back into Living World.

The moment my four paws touch the ground, I change back into my normal human for, running as hard as I can, straight for Kenta's place. By the time I reach the street outside his house, I can barely breathe. I don't know what to do. I feel like if I stop for even a moment, I'm only increasing the danger I'm in.

"Mei-tan?" I whirl around at the sound of Kenta's voice, relieved and worried in equal terms. If Kurama is still chasing me, I've just implicated Kenta as well. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I messed up." His eyes go wide at my words. "I think I'm in trouble."

"Did you complete your mission?" he asks, his words clipped and quick. I hold up the amulet, and he nods. "Okay. Hang onto it. We need to get out of here in case you're being followed."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I should just go. If they find you, they'll think you're an accomplice."

"But I am, Mei-tan," he says, smiling. "And I wouldn't just leave you behind when you've come to me like this. Now come on. We need to move."

He gestures for me to follow, and we head down the street, walking fast. He's got a pleasant expression on his face, so I try to do the same, hoping the knot in my stomach isn't showing on my face. _It's going to be fine. Everything will be fine._

"We're being followed," Kenta says, his voice so low I almost miss it. "There are a lot of them."

A lot? That doesn't sound right, unless Koenma is sending a small army after me. I try to focus on the life forces in the area, picking out a few familiar ones. It's those guys from last week, when I'd twisted my ankle.

"Kenta…."

"We're going to have to fight this out. Do you think you can do this with me?"

"You should just leave," I say. "It's me they're after."

He smiles. "It's too late now. Ready to rumble?" Tossing me a wink, he slips down a deserted side street, with me close on his heels. The street is open on both ends, and by the time we get about halfway down, there are people coming in from either side.

Kenta puts one hand on one hip, using his other to count. "Looks like ten of them. So, I'll take five, and you take five?"

"Mm." I nod my head, balling my hands into fists. "I'm sorry," I whisper as one of the men steps forward.

"Well well," he says. "We were just after the girl, but I think I know you too. You're that son of a bitch's right hand man, aren't you?"

"Who's asking?" Kenta says, tapping his nose. The man opens his mouth to speak, but Kenta interrupts. "Just kidding. I don't care. You're thugs from a rival group, and that's all that matters. You can't have the girl, and you can't have me."

"I'm going to tear you limb from limb, you cocky asshole!" he shouts, running forward. I look away from that man just in time to dodge a blow from one of the men on my other side. Two of the others rush at me, trying to grab me by the arms, but I land a punch to one face and a kick to a shin. A hand grabs my hair, yanking hard, so I fall to my knees, turning and launching my fist into his groin. He doubles over, and I ram the heel of my palm into his nose. He falls back, blood spurting, and I get to my feet, only to be grabbed by another person and slammed against a wall.

"Little bitch!" the man breathes, his human form falling away to reveal a green-skinned demon. He bares his fangs at me, so I punch his jaw, bruising my hand and sending him stumbling. I hear fighting from my right, but I don't have time to look over at Kenta. All I can do is hope he's okay as another thug comes my way.

Before he can do much more than look at me, he's cleaved in two by...a rose whip. Kurama drops down in front of me, his green eyes meeting mine. It only lasts for a second, but I find myself trapped, unable to look away.

"Look sharp," he snaps, his voice sharp and quiet before he turns away from me, pulling something from his pocket. I don't have time to watch as someone else comes bearing down on me.

The fight goes on, the three of us moving in separate units, and just when I start to think things are going well for us, I hear a clicking sound. Looking toward it, my eyes go wide as one of the goons pulls the trigger of a gun, aimed right at me. I don't have time to react in this human body of mine. It pierces straight through my chest, and I gasp, hands covering the wound.

 _It's so hot. My blood._ I haven't seen this much of it in quite some time. A familiar, warm sensation courses through my body, and then the world goes dark.

* * *

A/N: That went from 0-100 really fast, but I'm enjoying it. Mei is so different from any character I've written before, and I'm looking forward to exploring her life. My life. Life in general. When I was writing Boss, it occurred to me that I rather liked him as a bad guy, which doesn't bode well for anyone involved. Kenta is a much better alternative! *whispers* _Trust me on this one._ Or don't. It's all up to the reader anyhow.

Thanks for reading!


	3. Golden Goddess

Hisashi stood up from his desk when Kenta came in, eyes wide with surprise. He didn't say anything for a moment, walking around to the front of his desk as Kenta let out a shaky sigh.

"What happened to you?" Hisashi asked, looking at his right hand man. The other demon had cuts on his face and his clothes were torn and dirty, a far cry from his usual sharp look.

"Bad...bad news. Mei came back from her mission...she'd managed to steal the Tenebral Amulet, but…." The demon froze, too shaken to continue.

"Kenta." Hisashi walked toward Kenta, his voice stern. "Just tell me what happened."

"She said someone had seen her, and she was worried they were going to catch her. We ran together, but the people who ended up stopping us belonged to a rival gang. We all fought, but Mei…."

Hisashi knew that Kenta had a soft spot for the dark-haired human girl. From the moment he'd first called her Mei-tan, Hisashi had a feeling the two would be close. He'd even pushed them together at times so that he could get reports on how she was doing, as she rarely spoke, and never unless spoken to. Because of Kenta, he'd learned that she only used the money he paid her to rent out a shitty apartment, and stole whatever food she felt the need to eat.

"She took a bullet to the chest, and went down. This other human came and took her away, accompanied by Koenma and some of his men."

Boss sighed, raking a hand through his hair. That was a problem. Hisashi had found the human girl interesting. The quiet way she moved, trying not to draw attention, always caught his eye. Regardless of how inconspicuous she tried to be, she always moved with purpose and carried herself with pride. Nothing could hide that.

Her skill as a thief was indisputable. He'd sent her to Spirit World the first time, not really thinking she would come back. When she did and was successful, entire new avenues opened up, new possibilities for his plans. He'd started to dream bigger and bigger, which was dangerous, especially in his line of work. All plans needed to be logical and reasonable.

What wasn't logical was the attachment he'd formed toward her. There was something about her that drew him in, and it had taken him a long time to figure it out. What ended up cluing him in was the way she avoided looking him in the eyes. She was afraid of him, and he found that...irresistible. It made him want to frighten her, more and more, bit by bit. He'd hoped, by telling her he wanted her to live with him, to finally get some kind of reaction from her, but when even that failed, it only made him want her more. How? How could he truly frighten her?

This, he'd spent the last week thinking of. Now that she was in Spirit World custody, it was possible he would never know. At least he didn't have to worry about her talking. She hardly ever spoke to the people he knew she cared about; there was no chance she would mention anything specific about himself or his operation.

"We'll have to cut our losses," Hisashi said at last to Kenta. "You should leave. Get some medical attention from Ono."

Kenta nodded, but it looked like there was something more he wanted to say.

"If there's nothing else…?" Hisashi asked.

"Oh!" Kenta grimaced, pressing his palms together in front of his face. He took a breath, before saying, "It's about Mei. When she was shot, she transformed."

"Transformed?" So, she wasn't human after all. "Into what?"

"A kitsune, but not any ordinary kitsune. I think...I think she's going to turn golden."

Hisashi stared at Kenta for a long moment before he let out a laugh. "Is that a fact?" Things had suddenly gotten much more interesting.

...

This situation was...odd. Kurama was not prepared for the way the day had progressed. He'd just intended to go to Spirit World, look over Koenma's castle, and go home. He hadn't thought he would actually catch the thief red-handed. Or red-haired, as the person had appeared as him. That was an experience he never wanted to repeat, having to face himself down.

At that moment, he could have easily overpowered his double, but he'd sensed fear and unease. Whoever had taken his form had no idea what they were doing, and the words they had spoken had further confirmed his thoughts. They were just doing their job and felt they didn't have a choice anymore about it. This wasn't thievery for the sake of it. Something bigger was at stake.

He'd followed the traces of energy the demon had left behind when they escaped, all the way back to Living World. When he'd stumbled across the girl he'd seen not that long ago, the one who'd transformed in the street to avoid some men with less-than-good intentions, fighting for her life, he knew this was the right person. She'd been so clearly in over her head, so he'd stepped in to help. If she died there, then he wouldn't have gotten the chance to ask her any questions. Koenma likely wouldn't have appreciated that either.

When that demon put a bullet through her chest, time seemed to freeze for everyone in the alley. As she fell, the strangest thing of all had happened: she'd reverted to what he had to assume was her true form, a kitsune.

Things got a bit complicated from there. Kurama had fought off the other demons in the area, all but one imp demon who'd killed his fair share of the goons. When the fighting stopped, it was just the two of them, staring each other down in the alleyway. After a long silence, the imp had spoken.

"You work for Koenma." It wasn't a question.

"I do. And you?"

"You don't need to know that. Are you going to take her with you?"

"She's a wanted criminal."

"That's not what I asked you." The imp demon had narrowed his eyes, and Kurama almost smiled. This demon had guts.

"She needs medical attention. That's what I plan to get her first. After that, I can't say."

The imp had nodded, taking a step back. "Then I'll leave her in your care. Had you said anything else first, I might have fought you here and now." With that, he'd bowed, giving Kurama a weary smile before running off. Kurama had been too surprised to try to stop him. Besides, all he'd really been after was this girl.

He'd lifted her body, prepared to carry her out of the street before someone found them, but he'd paused when he looked at her hair. It was ginger, the same color as a typical red-fox kitsune, save for a golden strip on the front right side. Suddenly, he felt very tired. This poor girl was going to make his life so much more difficult, and he couldn't even fault her for it.

Sighing, he'd carried her back to his own apartment, putting her in a spare bed and calling Botan. When she'd gotten to his home, she'd set straight to work, mending the worst of the wound and assuring him she would be better in a day or two. The damage had sent her system into shock which was why she'd returned to her original form.

Even as she was leaving the room, she'd lingered, and Kurama had seen where her eyes had been drawn: to the gold in the girl's hair. He had a feeling Botan didn't know what it meant, but she was subconsciously aware of it. Kurama had her send word to Koenma that he'd caught the thief and that she was resting, unconscious, at his home. Koenma had tried to come over right away, but Kurama had asked that he wait until she awoke tomorrow. Then, they could go through what was sure to be the arduous task of getting information from her.

Until then, all anyone could do was wait.

…

Waking up is a struggle, but what else is new? The older I get, the less I find reasons to get out of bed. That's when I realize I'm in a bed. This isn't my futon. I sit bolt upright, my chest pinching tightly, and I wince, pressing a hand to it. A strand of hair falls over my shoulder, and I stiffen, surprised. It's orange.

I slowly reach up, follow the curve of my head to touch the fox ears atop it. Leaning back, I'm propped up by eight orange-red tails. Not only am I in a strange place, in a strange bed, with a sharp pain in my chest, but I'm in my fox form. This is bad. I close my eyes, trying to transform back, but the strain is too much, and I collapse on the bed, falling over on my side because my tails are in the way. I don't even have the strength to turn them into one tail, which is how I used to run around, many years ago.

After a few moments lying on my side on the bed, I force myself to sit up again, surveying the room. It's very plain, just a full-size bed, with pale blue bed sheets, and some white blinds covering window. This must not be an often-used room. It even smells a bit musty. Wherever I am, no one was expecting me. That must mean I'm not imprisoned just yet. I should probably leave before I am.

It takes a solid minute to get to my feet, but when I do, I have to brace myself against a wall to stave off a dizzy spell. Once I'm certain I can stand on my own, I make my way over to the window, looking out it. It looks like a second-floor apartment with a small deck and a fire escape that leads down to the floor below it. That would have to be my method for escape.

I throw up the window pane as the door behind me opens, making me jump. When I turn, it's to see that green-eyed man from before...Kurama. He's staring with wide eyes, but it only takes him a second to process what I'm doing and less than that to reach me.

"Why don't you stay a while?" he asks, reaching around me and closing the window. "You're not well enough to go anywhere."

I grimace, looking away from him. _Dammit. Too slow._

"How are you feeling?" he asks after a long silence.

"Terrible," I reply.

"That would make sense, considering you were shot."

That's right. I'd been fighting with Kurama and Kenta when one of the demons had shot me in the chest. That explains a lot. I wonder, however, what happened to Kenta. I press a hand gently to my chest, feeling the outline of a gauze bandage.

"I don't suppose you have a name?"

I jump at his words, looking up at him. When our eyes meet, I immediately look away, confused. His expression is...gentle. I'd thought eyes like his could only be harsh, like Boss'. I clench one hand into a fist. "Mei."

"It's a pleasure to officially meet you, Mei," he replies. "My name is Kurama, though it appears you already knew that." His tone is wry, and when I look at him again, his smile matches his words. "Brace yourself. I think we're going to have visitors."

The door hits the wall hard as a young man with short brown hair, steps into the room. "So, she's finally awake? This is the demon who's been causing me so much trouble!"

"Calm down, Koenma," Kurama says, his hand grabbing onto my wrist at the same time that I reach for the window. How he knew I was going to try to escape again is beyond me. Also, did he say Koenma? This young man is the same person as the toddler king?

"I'll be calm when she hands me back my…." He trails off, eyes going wide. "Wait a second. Are you a golden kitsune?"

I take a step back, hitting the wall behind me as a million voices crowd inside my head with his words. _Shut up._ I don't respond to his question, looking down at my feet.

"You are, aren't you? Holy cow."

There's the sound of more footsteps, and I look up in time to see a woman with bright blue hair, tied back in a ponytail, walking toward me.

"How are you feeling, dear?" she asks me, smiling. This woman I can read like a book. She doesn't have a single wiling bone in her body, honest to a fault, and unerringly kind. It's all written in the expression on her face. "I hope my healing powers did the trick."

So, she was the one who must have taken care of me after that fight. "Yes, thank you," I tell her.

"My name is Botan! I'm a pilot of the River Styx. What's your name?" she asks, extending a hand.

I reach to take it when Koenma says, "Megami."

Flinching, I withdraw my hand, gritting my teeth. "My name is Mei."

"I was under the impression all golden kitsune were either named Kami or Megami at birth," he says, crossing his arms.

Shaking my head, I swallow hard, glaring down at the ground.

"Well, Mei," Botan says, "you should sit. You must be very tired." She leads me back to the bed, helping me sit before turning back to Koenma. "And you, sire, should be more considerate of other people. She's hurt, and you're trying to pick a fight with her!"

"Me?" he gasps, indignant. "She's the one who stole from me. I'm the victim here."

I reach in my pocket, my fist covering the amulet. Pulling it out, I toss it to the floor at his feet. _It's not like I wanted it for me, anyway._

Koenma stoops to pick it up, looking warily at me. "Why are you giving it back?"

"It's not mine," I reply.

He stares at me like he thinks I'm stupid before saying, "No, no it is not. Why did you steal it in the first place?"

"I was told to."

Now, he looks like he wants to tear all the hair from his head. I can see the vexation on his face, but I'm not going to provide more information than is asked for. He's lucky I'm telling him anything.

"Yes, but by _who?_ "

I stare at him this time, my purple eyes meeting his ruddy brown ones. The expression in them is clear and honest, two things I can't stomach most of the time. Honest people can be just as dangerous as liars.

"You're not going to answer me, are you?" Koenma asks after a long silence. It might have been uncomfortable for him, but it was peaceful for me.

"No."

He looks like he's two seconds from exploding, but before he can say anything else, Botan steps between us, holding her hands out like she's stopping us from speaking. "All right, all right. Calm down, Lord Koenma. You're not going to get any information if you can't keep your cool."

"I am cool!" he shouts in reply. He clears his throat, his face blushing red as he says, "I'm fine. I've dealt with worse than a little demon who won't answer questions."

 _Little demon?_ I'm older than he is, and he's only a few inches taller than I am. What is it with people and demeaning me like I'm younger or weaker or just generally lesser than they are? It's less insulting coming from Kenta than it is from this pompous, self-important stranger. I hate royalty.

"If you want her to answer anything," Kurama says, "it might be a good idea not to insult her."

"Why is everyone ganging up on me?" Koenma grumbles, crossing his arms. "I'm just trying to figure out who's stealing from me."

"Considering we have the thief in custody, I don't think anyone will be succeeding in doing so again," Kurama replies.

"It's unlikely," I mutter, reaching up and pulling on one of my ears.

"What's a golden kitsune?" Botan asks, making me flinch. "I think you mentioned it earlier, Lord Koenma."

"When a kitsune reaches 1000 years," Koenma says, "they either turn silver or gold. The silver ones are infinitely more common. Golden foxes are only born once every 5000 years. They've all got golden strips in their hair before they reach 1000 and when they reach that year, all their fur and hair turns gold."

"Why are they so uncommon?" she asks.

"It's likely because of how powerful they are," Kurama supplies. How relieving it is that I don't have to give any of this information…. "There are countless rumors surrounding golden kitsune, but I can only think many of them are unfounded."

"What kind of rumors?"

"Golden fox hair is said to have miraculous healing powers. Mixing the fur with certain liquids can make a person incredibly beautiful. The eyes are said to grant immortality."

"Eyes?" Botan gasps, looking at me with a horrified expression on her face.

"What people don't seem to realize," I state, voice flat and devoid of emotion, "is that even if those things were true, none of them would work until after the fox turns golden."

"Wait, so they are true?" she asks.

"How would I know? I've never met another golden. They usually are either killed or kill themselves before they reach 1000 years."

The silence that falls in the room is almost tangible, and I wonder why. If they're afraid this information upsets me, they're sorely mistaken. If they're surprised by it, then they're all fools. If it's something else, I'll just have to wait and see.

"Your eyes," Kurama says, drawing my attention to him. "They're slightly different shades of purple."

He's good. He's very very good, and I'm impressed. "Yes."

"Someone took your eye?" Botan gasps, looking like she might throw up.

"Small price to pay for immortality."

"That's just so disgusting!" she shouts, crossing her arms and then uncrossing them, clearly agitated. "There are some truly sick individuals out there. I can't imagine what all you've been through."

I merely shrug. "It doesn't matter anymore." None of it matters. Precious little seems to at this point in my life. "All I want is to live to see my 1000th birthday." After that, I don't care what happens to me.

"How old are you now?" Koenma asks.

"Nine hundred ninety-nine. In a month, I'll be 1000."

The silence that falls this time is inscrutable. All I can tell is that everyone is thinking, but I've no inkling of what might be going on in their heads. If I were chained up, still bleeding out from my wound, I might have thought they were planning to use me. As it stands, with me in this comfortable bed, capable of running at any minute, I can't be sure.

"You've just been doing anything you can to survive, haven't you?" Kurama asks. I nod my head, and he sighs. "That would include falling in with unsavory people and stealing for them?"

"I was offered protection," I reply. When I met Boss for the first time, he was saving my life from some demons who had found me near-dead and were planning to finish me off. He'd beaten them all in a matter of seconds before turning to me. I'd thanked him and made the mistake of telling him I owed him a favor. That was the first time he'd asked me to steal. When I succeeded, we struck up a bargain. He would pay me if I would continue to steal. So I did. It's only been a few months, but already it looks like that agreement is over.

"That makes sense," he replies, nodding.

"So, what if I do the same?" Koenma asks. I look over at him, my expression neutral. "You can't exactly go back to where you were before, can you?"

"No," I reply.

"You're a criminal of Spirit World, so I should throw you in a jail cell, but there are extenuating circumstances here."

 _Bull._ I hate when people beat around the bush instead of just saying what they want. Not that it matters. Everyone always wants the same thing from me. The King of Spirit World won't prove to be any different.

"We'll offer you protection until your 1000th birthday," Koenma says. I stare at him, unblinking, and he sighs. "In exchange, once you turn golden, I want to test out some of those rumors."

"Lord Koenma?" Botan gasps.

"I'm not going to take her eyes or skin her," Koenma says. "I just want some fur and hair. Maybe run some tests on the kind of demon energy she gives off. Things like that."

She shakes her head, turning to face me. "You don't have to agree to that, dear."

 _What other choice do I have?_ Boss won't take me back. He'd probably be more likely to kill me than anything else. I only have a month to go. Once that month hits, I can die for all I care.

"I accept," I say.

"Good." Koenma relaxes, smiling. "I wasn't looking forward to trying to figure out how to imprison someone who can transform and sneak past my defenses."

"That's a very good point," Botan says, frowning. "How were you doing that, anyway?"

"Trade secret," I reply, looking down at my hands. They're slimmer than my human form, the fingers longer. Personally, I would rather take the other hands. I don't feel right in this skin. I haven't in a very long time.

"I don't suppose you can keep her in your guest room?" Koenma asks, and I look up to see he's talking to Kurama. "I'll pay you for her room and board."

"That's fine, but there will be no one to watch over her while I'm at work."

Watch over me? I'm not a child, but I supposed I am in fact a prisoner. I've been one my entire life. It seems like the only things that ever change are the jailers and the living spaces. This time, I've gone from one inscrutable master to another, from slums to suburbs. Sighing, I focus on my energy, channeling into my appearance. My eight tails become one, and I lay back on the bed, relieved. Having one tail is much more manageable.

"We'll work something out," Koenma says. "Mei, you'll have to stay here during the day unless you go out with someone I approve. That's not just me being cruel. I don't think it's safe for you out there."

"Is it safe for me in here?" I narrow my eyes at him, watching closely as his expression remains carefully neutral.

"Yes. No one here will hurt you. That leads me to my next question. Aside from whoever you were working for, is there anyone who might wonder where you are if you go missing?"

I start to shake my head when I realize: Shiori. "Yes."

"It might be a good idea to meet with that person and tell them you'll be away for a while. I can find someone to go out with you if you think you can get that done today."

"Who on such short notice?" Botan asks as a knock from somewhere else in the apartment draws attention. I sense a strange presence, neither entirely human nor entirely demon standing outside the front door.

"I think that question just answered itself," Kurama says, smiling. He steps away, and a few minutes later, he returns with another young man, this one with slicked back black hair, big brown eyes, and a cocky grin.

"Well, I'll be damned," he says, looking me over. "I never thought about it, but there must be tons of fox demons, huh?"

"Maybe a few," Kurama says. "Mei, I'd like you to meet Yusuke. He's going to take you around today to say goodbye to anyone you may need to. I have to go to work, but I'll be home later." He gives me a smile, and I nod to him. "Have a good day."

I don't respond, and he turns, leaving me with Koenma, Botan, and Yusuke.

"You're not going out looking like that, are you?" he asks me, gesturing to himself as though he had ears and a tail of his own.

I focus my energy, managing to slide into my human form at last. It feels much better than my fox skin, and I'm glad for it.

"That was cool," Yusuke says, grinning as he crosses his arms. "Do someone else." He frowns. "Can you turn into Pacifier Breath?"

"Excuse you," Koenma grunts. "I'm pretty sure that's a crime."

"Fine," he replies. "What about me?"

Raising an eyebrow, I get to my feet, transforming into Yusuke. "Like this?"

"Whoa!" he cries, eyes wide. "That's so freaking sweet! Do Botan next."

"Pass," I say, returning to my regular human form.

"She's not a toy, Yusuke," Botan says. "She's a person like anyone else."

"One who can change into other people!" Yusuke shouts. "That's pretty damn cool, don't you think?"

"It's dangerous," Koenma replies. "Now, if you'll excuse us. Botan, let's go. We've got work to do."

Botan pouts at the king before turning to me. "Well, Mei, if you need anything, I'm just a call away." She reaches in her pocket, pulling out a little compact mirror. "Flip this thing open, and you should be able to reach me right away, provided I'm not using it for something else. You can also use it to get in touch with Yusuke or Kurama as well."

She passes it to me, and I take it, slipping it into a pocket. I'll never use it. That doesn't mean it isn't a nice thought. I have no intention of seeking any favors from these people. Favors only lead to more trouble, and I'm in deep enough as it is.

"All right, let's go." Turning on his heel, Koenma leaves the room. I hate that the moment he steps out, I find myself relaxing a little.

"Have a good day, Mei!" Botan says, smiling hugely. "I'll see you soon, I'm sure of it!" I nod to her, and she leaves as well. Now, it's just me and the strange human/demon hybrid.

"So, what's your story?" Yusuke asks me. "Koenma and Kurama just told me you were basically under house arrest for stealing from Spirit World."

"Yes," I tell him.

"Why would you do something stupid like that?"

"I didn't have a choice," I monotone, tired of telling this story.

"Fair enough," he replies, catching me off guard. "It's not my place to judge. Gotta do what you gotta do, right?"

"Right." I frown, thinking. My initial assessment of this man had been as a simpleton. He'd only been interested in my shapeshifting as though it were some kind of parlor trick. That made him seem like a complete fool. However, perhaps he's a bit deeper than I'd first thought. He would require further study.

"Anyway, where do you wanna go? I've only got a few hours I can babysit for." He sticks his finger in his ear, and I frown. Then again, perhaps my initial judgment was correct.

"Depends on what time it is." I don't know how long I was unconscious, but it can't have been too long. Maybe just the rest of the previous day.

"It's noon," he says, and I nod.

"Library, then."

He groans. "For real?" I raise an eyebrow, and he sighs. "Fine, fine. I just hope whoever the hell you're meeting keeps it short. I hate libraries."

 _Me too._

* * *

A/N: Hear me out. It's really hard for me to write a character who doesn't like to talk. I keep having to delete dialogue I've given her because she wouldn't give out that much information. But I would. It's tough to balance. I'm not really sure where this story is going or what I want to do with it, but it's not going to be nearly as long as my other project. I refuse to make this that long...

For anyone who knows what _megami_ means, yes, that was 100% intentional. I wanted her name to be as stupid and ostentatious as I could manage to show how uncomfortable she is in her skin. Literally.

Anyway, rambling done. Thanks for reading, and thanks to YukinaBlueRose and Sidako for the reviews! You guys are always super awesome :)


	4. Anything You Need

Kurama was incredibly frustrated. Why on earth did he have to look after this dysfunctional kitsune? He sat at his desk, rushing through his work in an attempt to make up for being late this morning. It wasn't difficult, so his mind could wander to things like how on earth he'd gotten himself into a mess like this. Surely, Koenma had places he could have kept her or other people to watch over her. Why him?

It wasn't that he didn't feel for her. On the contrary, there wasn't a fox demon alive who didn't thank their lucky stars they weren't golden. Kurama had heard the stories of the hunts for golden foxes, the tortures those poor creatures were put through. They certainly weren't common, but the stories were.

This girl had been through her fair share of pain, he could tell. Her actions and her attitude toward her own life seemed to scream that she had shut herself down in an attempt to mitigate as much of her suffering as possible. It made sense, but it would also make her even more difficult to manage.

Kurama had been hoping against all hope that things in his life would settle down. His mother had been pressuring him to look for a prospective life partner for quite some time now, and while he had, for the longest time, not been interested, he had to admit, the idea of finding someone he could come home to didn't sound all that bad. However, when he'd first thought that, a moody demon woman wasn't exactly what had come to mind.

Sighing, he wondered how Yusuke was faring with Mei. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to just leave the two of them together on such short notice, but they hadn't had a lot of options. Kurama knew if they'd just left the girl alone, despite the deal she struck with Konema, there was a very real chance that she would have run away. She was an entirely unknown entity, and that made her dangerous.

Even so, Kurama didn't think she would hurt any of them on her own. If her only goal was survival, she would likely do whatever she could to not jeopardize her protected status. She wasn't stupid. The fact that she'd lived this long was proof of that. However, keeping her out of trouble would be the most difficult thing he'd done in a while.

So, with all this in mind, why was it that, despite his irritation at the situation he was now in, he was starting to feel excited?

…

Yusuke hadn't really known what to expect when Kurama had called him and Kuwabara to his apartment last night. When the fox demon had told them, he'd managed to catch the Spirit World thief, Yusuke had been both stoked and disappointed. He thought it meant he wouldn't get any action, and he'd been itching for a fight. However, Kurama had also told them she was an incredibly rare and valuable demon, which meant people would be hunting her down. That had perked him right back up.

He couldn't care less about how magical her hair was or how her eyes were some kind of elixir or something. What interested him was how strong her demon energy would be once she transformed and the kinds of people who might be coming after her. According to Kurama, golden kitsune radiated heavenly energy and a lot of it. He'd hoped that meant she was strong and good at fighting. He could use a good spar.

However, now that he'd met her, he realized there were two massive holes in his plan. The first was that she apparently preferred to use a human body. That meant there would be no sparring against an incredibly powerful demon like he'd hoped. The second was that she was supposed to stay at Kurama's at all times, which meant that unless the people searching for her knew to go there, he wouldn't get to fight any demons looking to capture her either. Clearly, the universe was against him, and he wanted a refund on this gig. Babysitting was not something he enjoyed.

It didn't help that she didn't talk. He'd tried asking her questions like where she was from and if she had any family. She hadn't responded to the first question and given a resounding "no" to the second. After a few more attempts, he gave up and instead counted the cracks in the sidewalk, wondering if Keiko would make him dinner tonight. His ramen cart was closed for the day, which meant he would get to go home after he was done with this and just relax.

When they finally got to the library, Mei led the way past stacks and stacks of dusty old books, making her way toward what Yusuke figured was probably the most unused part of the place. Most of the books back here were older than he was. Sighing, he tapped his fingers against his legs, feeling antsy. Libraries always made him feel bored and restless. No interesting strangers would change that.

He bumped into Mei who had come to a sudden halt. "What's up?" he asked her, looking around her shoulder to see a familiar face. "Hey, it's Mrs. Hatanaka!"

….

A morning with a nosy stranger had been expected, but Yusuke seemed to have a way of asking all the questions I had no interest in answering. Where was I from? None of his business. Did I have family? No. Most of my kin had died before I ever took on a non-animal form. Who were they going to meet? He would find out when they got there. Why a library? Why not?

When he finally gave up, I was relieved. The silence left behind was peaceful, and I only wished it would have lasted longer. However, once we make it to my usual table in the library where Shiori is waiting, any hope for quiet goes right out the door.

"Hey, it's Mrs. Hatanaka!"

Shiori looks up from the book she's reading, her expression traveling from surprise into a warm smile. "Yusuke. It's been a while. What brings you here with Mei?"

"We're looking for someone," he replies before frowning. "Unless she's who you were trying to meet?"

"Hello, Shiori," I tell her.

"It's good to see you, dear," she says. "I didn't know you knew Yusuke. He's one of my son's friends."

"Ah." Of course he is. Things can't ever be simple, can they? Sitting down at the table, Yusuke does the same, smiling for no reason I can fathom.

"How've you been?" Yusuke asks Shiori.

"Doing all right," she replies. "What about you? And Keiko? She's such a dear."

"I'm not half bad," Yusuke says. "As for Keiko, she's doing great. Work keeps her busy, but she loves it."

"That's very important," Shiori nods, smiling. "Mei, how are you? What brings you here with Yusuke?"

"Bumped into him on the way," I reply. "Said he wanted to come." I tap my fingers on the table, thinking. Knowing what I have to do doesn't make this any easier.

"Is something wrong?" she asks, frowning.

I'm not really surprised she can tell. Shiori has always been almost too observant. "I'm not going to be able to meet you for lunch for a while," I tell her.

"Oh? Is that so?" She looks sad, and I don't like that I'm the reason for that.

"She's going on a trip," Yusuke supplies, and I find myself wishing he just wasn't here. She wouldn't have asked. Shiori isn't the type to pry, but now I have a lie I have to ascribe to. Perfect.

"I see," Shiori says, smiling. "Well, that sounds exciting! How long will you be gone?"

"About a month," Yusuke answers for me, patting me on the back. "She's gonna have so much fun she might actually smile for once."

I could kill him. That might be the best option.

"Don't tease her so much," Shiori says, shaking her head. "She smiles when she wants to, and there's nothing wrong with that."

Am I being punished? Have I done something so wrong that providence or fate or the universe wishes to make me suffer by tearing me away from the people I've made the mistake of leaning on in exchange for people like Yusuke who couldn't possibly understand me? First Kenta and now Shiori. Is the purpose of my existence just to suffer?

"If you say so," Yusuke replies. "You know what they say, though. You catch more fists with vinegar than you do with honey."

Shiori smiles, shaking her head. "I think you may have that a bit mixed, Yusuke, dear."

He shrugs. "Still means the same thing."

This conversation is going to slowly drive me insane. At some point, I just tune them out, wondering if Kenta is okay. I hadn't asked, but I wonder if Kurama would have told me. By now, surely Boss knows I'm missing too. If Kenta has told Boss what happened, then it's probably not safe for me to go out in public in this body. That means I'm going to need to change before we leave. I'd thought of this before we left, but...foolish sentiment had gotten in my way. If I'd been caught on the way here because I wanted to go out one last time in this body, then I would have deserved the death that would have brought me.

"Right, Mei?"

I frown, breaking out of my thoughts to look at Yusuke. He's standing now, and so I get to my feet as well, assuming he's finally ready to leave.

"See you around, Mrs. Hatanaka," Yusuke tells her before he turns to walk away.

"Thank you for everything, Shiori," I tell her, bowing.

She stands as well, smiling. "You make it sound like this is goodbye for good," she says. "I'll see you again soon, all right?"

If only things were that simple. "With any luck," I tell her, which is the closest I can get to neither lying nor telling the truth. My life always seems to rest somewhere between the two. I wave farewell, following after Yusuke. We step outside, into daylight, and I stand behind him, changing forms. Now, I've got blonde hair and blue eyes.

He turns to look at me, eyes wide. "Oh, sorry," he says, glancing past me.

I sigh. "It's me. Mei."

"Shit, really?" he asks. "Why'd you change on me?"

"My former employer knows my usual body."

"Makes sense to me," he replies, not questioning further. Either he's learning not to ask me questions or it doesn't occur to him that I was putting us in danger before. Regardless of the reason, it doesn't matter to me. I'm just glad it's quiet now.

When we get back to Kurama's apartment, Yusuke says, "Kurama should be home a little after five. Until then, you're on your own. If you need anything, just gimme a call." He hands me a slip of paper with his phone number on it, and I take it, unimpressed at his barely legible handwriting. _Yet another thing I've been given today that I won't use._ I slide it into my pocket with Botan's communicator, nodding at Yusuke.

"Don't leave, okay?" he says. "Or do. If you do, at least that way I get to hunt you down. I've been looking for some action lately."

"I won't," I state, and he sighs.

"Would it kill you to lighten up a little? This isn't the end of the world, you know. Just a month and then you're home free."

Whatever that means. And yes, it just might kill me to "lighten up". Neither of these are things I will say to him. Instead, I nod, stepping inside the apartment.

"Well, see you around," Yusuke says.

"Mm." I close the door, turning and leaning against it. _If I could just rewind time._ No, that is dangerous thinking. There is no going back to before I made the choices and mistakes I did, and it's pointless to even entertain the notion of doing so. I refuse to put that added stressor on myself.

Instead, I head back into the room I'd vacated earlier this afternoon, changing back into my usual human body and curling up in a ball. I'm tired, and I just want this day to end. It doesn't take long for me to fall into a restless sleep.

When I wake, it's to the smell of frying fish. My stomach rumbles, and I realize I haven't eaten anything in a few days. My body suddenly reminds me of this with far too much force, letting loose an unfortunately loud grumble. Sighing, I get to my feet, mentally preparing myself for another underwhelming attempt at conversation, this time with a demon who is more observant than I'm entirely comfortable with. Clearly, since I dislike the unobservant almost as much as the observant, the solution would be to just avoid everyone altogether. Would that I could.

When I open the door to this room, every part of me just wants to curl back up again. However, I genuinely do need food. Bodily necessities are so vexing. Slowly, I make my way toward the source of the good smells, finding myself standing outside the kitchen, looking in at Kurama who is standing at the stove. He's wearing an apron and frying fish. He doesn't look up when I approach, but he knows I'm here.

After a few minutes, it looks like he's done. I watch as he opens the top of a rice cooker, scooping heaping spoonfuls of the stuff into bowls. He puts the tempura on top of the rice, finally turning to face me.

With a mild smile, he says, "Good evening, Mei. I hope you like fish."

I just stare as he walks past me, setting the bowls and some chopsticks on the table in the small, dining room part of the house. There aren't any walls separating the dining room, kitchen, and living room, the only difference between the same spaces being the floor material. The kitchen has fake tile, and the living and dining rooms have hardwood.

"How was your day?" Kurama asks me, gesturing for me to take a seat in front of one of the bowls.

I do as he asks, saying, "Fine." He keeps looking at me as though expecting more. When I don't offer anything, he takes a bite of his food.

"Yusuke told me you'd gotten to say your goodbyes. That's good to hear. I am rather sorry that you're going to be cooped up in here."

 _Why, because you're stuck with me?_ That's what I'd be sorry for, were I him. "It doesn't matter to me," I reply.

"I can't imagine that's true," he says. "I know if I'd had my freedom suddenly stripped away from me, I'd be unhappy."

"I bargained for it, didn't I?"

"True." He takes another bite as I move to sit across from him. "Anything to survive."

I nod, picking up the chopsticks and beginning to eat. The fish is good, light and crispy, but I've always been more a fan of rice than anything else. Plain, white rice is the best. I would only eat it if I could subsist that way. Scarfing it down, the silence that falls in the room feels a bit heavy, and when I look up, I see Kurama is watching me. Sizing me up, I'm sure. I wonder what he's seeing.

"Thank you for the food," I tell him when I've finished.

"You're welcome," he says, picking up both our bowls and heading into the kitchen to wash them. I stay seated at the table, thinking. This is only the first day in the start of a long month in these conditions. If every day is like this, I'll certainly be bored, but I also know I'll survive. That's all that matters.

As the years have passed, as I've gotten closer and closer to that 1000th year, it's felt less and less real. When I first reached 100 years and gained a human form, I never thought that I'd make it this far. From the moment I learned what I was and the fate of others like me, I assumed I would meet the same fate, dying young, whether from the abuse and mistreatment of others or by my own hand.

There had been times I'd thought about it, but I could never go through with it. In the end, the first time I did nearly die, I decided I wanted to live, if only out of spite. I wanted to prove that a golden kitsune could live to reach 1000, regardless of what one goes through. That was also around the time I stopped caring about anything.

It's safer this way, feeling as little as possible, letting the world move around me. As long as I do the bare minimum, just enough to keep myself out of trouble, then nothing else matters.

"If there's anything you like to eat," Kurama says, making me look up at him as he walks over, beginning to wipe down the table, "please, let me know. Or anything else you need, for that matter."

I shake my head. "Don't worry about it."

He smiles. "If it's bothering me that concerns you, Koenma is paying for any expenses I incur."

That almost makes me smile. Almost. Instead, I settle for a nod. "In that case, I'll let you know."

He laughs, heading back into the kitchen to rinse off the washrag he'd been using to clean the table. I watch him, thinking. He's tall, and he has a very good figure. By conventional standards, he's remarkably handsome, something I'm sure he gets told regularly. It seems stranger for someone like him not to have a partner.

That's not an assumption. In my fox form, with my heightened senses, I hadn't caught the scent of anyone frequenting this place. Aside from Kurama's own smell clinging to the furniture and the walls, the only other people I had picked up were faint traces. Surely, any current partner would have had a fresher, more regularly occurring smell.

Not that it's any of my business. Looks are deceiving, and for someone like me, they can change in an instant. Physical appearance means nothing to me. It's merely a means to an end, whether that end is to attract or repel. It's not as though I have the luxury of attaining a partner of my own. There is no way I can trust someone that much. It's not safe and certainly not worth the risk.

Thoughts of Boss and Kenta slip into my mind, and I sigh. The only complete upside to my current imprisonment is that I've entirely dodged living with Boss. As many contingency plans as I'd come up with, none of them had any sort of guarantee behind them. I'd even contemplated just doing as Boss had asked and going with him. It might have been hell every day, but I would have still reached my goal. Thankfully, the decision is now out of my hands.

"Do you want to watch TV?" Kurama asks, walking toward me again. I shake my head, and he says, "All right. Well, as I said, let me know if you need anything." He moves into the living room, turning the TV on, the volume low, subtitles scrolling across the screen. I watch him settle onto the couch, picking up a book he'd left on an end table.

What's the point in having the TV on if he isn't watching it? Maybe it's just background noise. Shaking my head, I get to my feet and head for my room. At least, that's what I'm going to call it. I'm sure it's a spare or guest room. Does that make me one of the two? If so, I'm likely just the spare.

Closing the door behind me, I look around again. It's sparse, but even so, it's only a little larger than my apartment. I wonder what will happen to that place. There's not really anything I care about there other than…. My book. I sigh, taking a slow, deep breath. Maybe I can ask one of Koenma's men to get it for me. But then I'd have to explain myself. This is the trouble in caring for things. It only leads to pain.

I settle on the floor, clearing my mind of everything until all that's left is blank nothingness. _Just don't think._ I can feel spirit energy and demon energy mingling around me in a soothing, familiar dance. It's easier to just not think, to not feel or act on those feelings. When I'm meditating, no desires can assail me.

Time passes. I'm not sure how much, but it's pitch black in this room. Getting to my feet, I stumble a little, trying to shake the sleep from my legs. Human bodies are so inconvenient in so many ways. They can't even see in the dark, something I have to remind myself as I kick the door on my way to the light switch. Flicking it on, I blink the spots from my eyes, wondering just what time it is.

Stretching slowly, I open the door, wondering if Kurama is still awake. If not, perhaps he trusts me more than is safe. If so, then perhaps he doesn't trust me at all. It's also possible, if he's awake, he's just lost track of time.

Walking out of the room, I move quietly down the hall, walking into a dark living room. The TV is still on, the volume still down incredibly low. Kurama's book is back on the end table, a bookmark sticking out, most of the way through.

I'm not entirely sure why, but I pick the book up, looking it over. It's fiction, a supernatural detective novel, if the synopsis is any indication. That's not what I was expecting, although, maybe that's my fault for making an assumption based on scarcely a day's worth of acquaintance.

Flipping open the first page, I look at it, wondering who in their right mind would start a story with "This wasn't the first time…." A few hours pass in this way, no conscious decision actually made. Before I know it, I'm halfway through the book, and daylight is starting to creep in through the window.

 _I shouldn't be reading this._ Setting it back where I found it, I slip back to my room, climb into bed, and fall asleep, dreaming of rice and ghosts chasing after a faceless detective.

…

"Good gracious!"

I start awake at the sound of someone exclaiming, and when I sit up, it's to find Botan standing in the doorway of my room. It takes me a moment to realize she isn't staring at me but is instead looking at what's around me. Kitsunebi are floating in the air in a semicircle, each bit of foxfire inside what looks like a thin glass sphere. This happens sometimes, when I let out demon energy while meditating. I'm not used to people being around when I wake, so normally, it's not a problem.

"Mei, what are these?" Botan asks.

"Kistunebi," I reply, reaching up and popping one. The fire disappears into a wisp of energy that slides into my fingers.

"Fox fire?" Botan watches as I pop another.

"Mm. Happens sometimes." I proceed to systematically get rid of them, until they're gone. Botan's still here, however. She must need...something.

"Yo, look what I found!" Yusuke steps into the room as well, holding a marble in his hands. It's small, unremarkable...mine.

I move fast, blurring between here and where the man stands, snatching the marble from him. Taking a step back, I proceed to swallow it.

"What the hell?" Yusuke asks. "That was mine."

"No," I reply. "It's mine."

"Finders keepers?" Yusuke says.

"No."

"You didn't have to eat it," he mumbles, looking dejected.

I don't respond, instead taking another step back as Kurama enters the room. "Even on my days off, I can't seem to escape this nonsense," he says.

"She ate my marble!" Yusuke says, pointing at me.

"It wasn't a marble," I reply.

"Then what was it?" he asks.

I run a hand over my face, saying, "Hoshi no tama."

"Star ball?"

"It's the source of a kitsune's power," Kurama supplies before I can say anything. "You ought to keep better track of that."

I know that. I can't imagine how it got out of me in the first place. Careless. So very careless.

"Damn," Yusuke says. "I wasn't trying to steal your power marble, I swear."

"I know," I reply, rubbing my arms. Normally, my hoshi no tama sits in the pit of my stomach, radiating warmth and energy. When I need to take it out, which is very, very rarely, or when I'm not paying attention, apparently, it manifests in the form of a marble-sized, iridescent jewel that I have to swallow again to keep track of. As the source of my fox magic, I can't shapeshift without it. I would be trapped in whatever form I take for the rest of my life.

It doesn't have to be my jewel, however. If I had any kitsune's hoshi no tama, it would work just the same. Perhaps that's why there's a very old, very foolish tradition of kitsune lovers swapping jewels as a sign of their affection. I can't count the number of foxes who've tricked each other out of their sources of power in this way; these sell remarkably high on the black market. That's likely why it's not as common anymore.

"Oh, I nearly forgot!" Botan says, snapping her fingers. "Mei, I'm actually here to size you so that I can buy some clothing for you." She shoos the boys away, and they leave without complaint as I stare blankly at her, confused.

"Why?"

"Well, you certainly can't wear the same thing every day, can you?" she says. When I raise an eyebrow, she says, "No, no you can't. Now boys, scoot!" She waves them away, and they leave without complaint.

"This isn't necessary," I tell Botan as she pulls out measuring tape.

"Relax, Mei. It's not like I'm going to purchase anything fancy. Just a handful of outfits and undergarments. Now raise your arms."

I do as she asks, letting her measure wherever she needs to, frowning the entire time. Being fussed over is not something I'm used to, but I don't think I like it. First Kurama asking if he could get anything for me yesterday and now Botan with clothing. What's next, Yusuke offering to wash my clothes?

"Now, what sort of style do you like?" she asks me. "You don't strike me as a frills and bows kind of girl." I shake my head, and she taps a finger on the side of her chin.

"Does it matter what I wear if I'm not leaving the house?" I ask. It seems like a trash bag would work just as well as anything else.

"Of course it does!" Botan chides, shaking her head. "A girl's got to always look her best!"

 _You don't sound spoonfed at all._ "I look like I just woke up," I say, gesturing to my disheveled hair and rumpled clothing.

"Yes, and the image of you swallowing that marble is burned into my mind," she says. "Now, I'll be back later. Here." She passes me a little bag before turning to leave. I don't say anything, just watch her go wondering what kind of life she's led that makes her so bubbly about everything.

Opening the bag, I find a hairbrush, a toothbrush, and a few other hygiene essentials. Sighing, I set them on the bed, thinking. It's been at least two days since I last showered, but I don't have new clothes to change into. As much as I don't want Botan doing this for me, it would be relieving to get out of what I'm wearing. I woke up wearing different clothing yesterday morning, presumably because there would have been a bloody gaping hole in the old ones, but these don't fit properly on this frame. Whoever they normally belong to is bustier and shorter than I am.

There's a knock at the door, but when it isn't followed by an immediate entrance, I realize someone's waiting for me to respond. That's new. I'm so used to people just barging into my life. "Come in?" I think that's what I'm supposed to say.

In steps Kurama, a mild smile on his face. He's dressed casually in jeans and a polo, so he must not have work today. It is a weekend, I recall vaguely. My days of the week are a bit jumbled.

"There's breakfast in the kitchen if you're hungry," he says. Oh, that's right. Most people eat two or three meals a day. It would have been safe to assume that food will be available regularly. That's a change of pace I think I can get used to. "When Botan gets back, feel free to use the shower as well."

I nod, beginning to wish I'd brushed my hair before he came in. I might as well be wearing a trash bag next to how polished he looks.

"Also, I'm having some friends over. Don't feel obligated to meet them if you don't want to, but know that you're also welcome to be around us if you wish. You've already met Yusuke anyhow."

Another nod. Maybe whoever else is coming over will be the owner of the other smell I'd caught yesterday. Did that mean someone else connected with Spirit World somehow? That's probably a safe bet if Koenma doesn't mind this other person seeing me.

"I'll leave you be," he says when I don't say anything more. "Let me know if you need anything."

That again. As he closes the door behind him, I sink down on the bed, the bag crashing to the floor, spilling its contents everywhere. Sighing, I pick up the hairbrush, slowly running it through my tangled black hair.

* * *

A/N: Good gracious, I think the story is moving somewhere! I have no idea where, though, so I'd be grateful if you'd bear with me. I know what direction I want things to go, it's just getting there and deciding on a pace that are rather hard.

Thanks for reading, and a special thanks to YukinaBlueRose for the review :)


	5. Dangerous Emotions

Kurama hadn't been entirely certain what to expect over dinner the night before. She'd seemed to enjoy his cooking, something he was proud of, but she'd been so quiet. For the most part, she only responded when asked a direct question, and even then, it felt hit or miss. When she wasn't speaking, he felt like she was just watching and judging. It wasn't a comforting thought.

Listening to her when she did speak solidified in Kurama's mind the idea that she never said more than was necessary if she could help it, likely as another part of her survival mechanisms. He had to admit, a lot of it made sense. If you didn't speak your mind, you were unlikely to offend the average person. She bottled up all her thoughts and feelings in the name of staying out of trouble.

Trouble, however, would always find her. As a golden fox, there was no way it wouldn't. This Kurama was acutely aware of every second she stayed in his house. He'd set up wards and barrier plants that made her utterly untraceable, so even if someone knew the human form she chose to wear, they wouldn't be able to seek her out. All of this, late last night when he'd thought she was sleeping.

He was thoroughly surprised when he stepped into the living room at two or three in the morning to find her engrossed in his book. She had gone straight to her room after dinner, and so he'd assumed that she would stay there for the night. Perhaps she'd assumed he was sleeping and that was why she was here now. Kurama watched her for a little bit, noticing that her expression never changed. He'd recently made it through those parts of the story she was reading, knew exactly what happened, and he thought it would make her react in some way.

The lack of was concerning, and yet, perhaps it gave him more insight into this young woman's mind. After a minute or so of watching, he turned and left, a plan formulating in his mind.

He sent a text to Kuwabara and Yusuke before heading to bed.

…

The young king of Spirit World's gears were spinning as he sat at his desk, looking over papers. Things were going to get out of hand, he just knew it. The question now was, how did he stop it? The discovery of a golden kitsune running about was monumental. He had no idea how she'd escaped the notice of Spirit World for so long, but he figured it likely had something to do with her energy. Never had Koenma met a demon who possessed holy energy like she did.

Ever since, he'd been reading up on golden kitsune most fervently, trying to learn everything he could. What he needed to know was just how powerful she was and if she was dangerous. His offering her protection was a two-pronged idea. One prong belonged to exactly what he'd told her: once she turned golden, he wanted permission to test those rumors about the magical qualities various parts of her supposedly possessed. The other prong belonged to the risk she posed: if she showed signs of being dangerous, he might have to have her executed before she reached that 1000th year.

That was not something he wanted to do unless absolutely necessary. He hadn't been in charge of Spirit World all that long, but ever since he'd taken over, he'd struggled to try to make amends for the atrocities that his father had committed against demonkind. Killing an incredibly rare breed of demon would certainly win him no favors if anyone found out. Even his ex-Spirit Detective and his friends might turn on him at that point.

"Dammit!" Koenma shouted, banging his hands on his desk.

"Are you all right, sir?" Botan asked, popping her head in at that exact moment, a bag in her arms.

"I'm fine, Botan. Have you discovered anything about Megami yet?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm afraid not. Mei is very quiet, as you know, and disinclined to do anything she doesn't have to." She frowned. "Oh, but Yusuke did find her hoshi no tama this morning."

"Her what?" Koenma asked, getting to his feet. It didn't make him much taller, as he was now standing on his chair and in toddler form, but the surprise was enough to unseat him. "You mean you saw the source of her power?"

Botan nodded. "It was so small. It's hard to believe with as much demon energy as she has, that little thing is the source."

Koenma shook his head. "Smaller is better. It's compact and easy to take around." He groaned, sitting back down and looking at his papers again. "I don't know what to do," he muttered, talking aloud to himself.

"Why do you need to _do_ anything, sir?" Botan asked him.

"Because she could be dangerous!" he told her. "There hasn't been a fully-fledged golden kitsune in tens of thousands of years. There's virtually no documentation on them, and that scares me, Botan. Just how powerful is she now? How powerful will she be when she gets her final tail?"

"Perhaps Kurama knows?" Botan asked. "He's a fox demon as well, after all."

Koenma nodded. "Maybe he does. However, it's precisely because he's a fox demon that I'm hesitant to ask him anything. I know nothing about how fox demons perceive gold foxes. It's entirely possible that leaving her with him was a horrible mistake." He grabbed either side of his head, grimacing. "I just don't know anything!"

...

When Botan comes back with clothes, I can't say I'm displeased. It's mostly jeans and nice blouses, with a T-shirt and a skirt thrown in. There are undergarments in the mix as well, and I'm grateful that none of them are disgustingly frilly or overly cute either.

"Well?" she asks.

"Thank you," I tell her, picking up what I need so I can go take a shower.

"You're very welcome, Mei! All right, I've got some other duties to attend to, but don't hesitate to call if you need anything."

The next person who says that to me is getting slugged.

Botan gets on her oar and flies off, leaving me free to do whatever I wish, which happens to be getting clean. I hop in the shower, feeling refreshed when I come out. Changing into my new clothes, I'm happy they fit perfectly. Botan did a good job, something I likely need to thank her for if I remember next time we meet.

After the shower, I head into the kitchen to find a wrapped up bowl of tamago gohan waiting for me. _More rice._ I don't want to say that I'm enjoying living here so far on the merits of the food alone, but….

Sitting at the table to eat, Yusuke and Kurama step into the living room from somewhere else in the house. I keep eating, even as they sit down on the couch, Kurama turning on the TV.

"When's Kuwabara supposed to get here?" Yusuke asks Kurama.

"Any minute," Kurama responds. "You can leave that on the table when you're done," he calls to me, as I finish up. "I'll take care of it later."

Nodding, I get the last grain of rice out of the bowl, leaving it on the table and getting to my feet as a knock sounds on the door.

"Yo, fox girl, you want to get that?" Yusuke asks.

I frown, staring at the back of his head. When the knocking occurs again and no one moves, I consider going back to my room.

More knocking, and I sigh, turning and walking to the door. A human is on the other side, steeped in spiritual energy. No threat. I pull open the door to find a tall, broad-shouldered, orange-haired man standing on the other side. When he sees me, I watch as he shudders, taking a step back, eyes wide.

"Uh, s-sorry," he stammers. "I think I have to wrong house."

"Get your ass in here, Kuwabara!" Yusuke shouts from behind me.

"If you're looking for Kurama's home," I tell the man, noting the way he shrinks back from my words, "you're in the right place." With that, I step away, heading back to the kitchen table. Even from here, even in the human form, I can pick up on the smell of fear and unease coming from the new human. Having me open the door had been entirely intentional on the part of Yusuke and Kurama, but why? Why would they want to frighten their friend with my presence? Why did my presence frighten in the first place? I'm mildly curious, but not enough to question it.

"What, uh, what's up?" the orange-haired man asks as he steps into the house.

"The usual," Yusuke replies, a smug grin on his face.

Kurama sighs, getting to his feet and approaching the newcomer. "Kuwabara, might I introduce you to Mei?" He gestures to me, and I nod in Kuwabara's direction.

"N-nice to meet you," Kuwabara tells me, bowing as best he can manage while he's trembling a little.

"She's the one who's been stealing from Spirit World," Kurama tells him.

"What?" Kuwabara gasps. "But she's just a…." He breaks off as though what he'd intended to say needed to be rethought. "I mean, she looks like a normal human, but…."

"But what?" Yusuke asks, clearly egging his friend on.

He looks at me, and it occurs to me that he's worried whatever he has to say might offend. I shrug, and he sighs. "Your energy is creeping me out."

I get to my feet at that, and he jumps. I suppress a sigh, looking him over. He must have ridiculously high spiritual awareness if he can tell that there's something different about me even in human form. That's not a comforting thought.

"I'm impressed you can tell," Kurama says. "Mei is a kitsune, a fox demon. She prefers to masquerade as a human and suppress her demonic energy."

The way he says that has an edge to it that I can't place, and I'm not sure why. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, however, and I look over at him, frowning.

"A fox demon?" Kuwabara says. "But you look like a human!"

I sigh, pulling a leaf from thin air and transforming into Botan. "And now I look like a ferry girl."

"Holy cheese!" he shouts, jumping back. "H-how did you do that?"

I shift into Yusuke now, saying, "Easy, Kuwabara."

"Whoa!" Yusuke says, leaping over the couch and running toward me. "Look, two of me!" He slings an arm over my shoulder, and I have to suppress a sigh. This is my penance for being irritated.

"That's not normal," Kuwabara says, and I change back into my normal human form, stepping out from under Yusuke's arm. "I could feel your demon energy…. And when you turned into Yusuke, it was like you _were_ Yusuke. Same energy and everything."

I nod, and he stares at me, dumbstruck.

"H-how?" he sputters.

"Mei is an incredibly powerful kitsune," Kurama supplies. "She's also the one who's been stealing from Spirit World."

"No way!" Kuwabara says. "Kurama, why is she in your house?"

 _I'm right here._ I'm tired of being spoken to like I'm not here, but if I leave now, I'll only cause more trouble for myself. It would be better to just stay and deal with this. Maybe not for my mental health but certainly for the sake of future endeavors.

"I'm keeping an eye on her for Koenma," Kurama says, explaining the bargain the young king and I had struck.

"What kind of deal is that?" Kuwabara asks. "Do you even have a choice in the matter?"

"I do, and this is part of it," Kurama replies. Which is news to me. He doesn't sound like he's unhappy with the arrangement, but maybe he's very good at hiding his true feelings. I'm normally good at reading people, but he's inscrutable to me.

"This is just…." Kuwabara shakes his head. "S-sorry, Mei," he says, looking at me.

 _What for?_ I frown.

After a beat of silence, he says, "I didn't mean to be rude. I've got really good psychic sense, and you just startled me is all. No one told me you were here."

Ah. He really is worried he's offended me. I'm so used to being labeled some kind of freak that it doesn't even matter to me anymore. "It's fine," I say.

Just like that, the creases in his brow smooth out, a hesitant smile on his face. "Thank goodness," he says. "Um, so let's start over? I'm Kazuma Kuwabara, but everyone calls me Kuwabara." He sticks out a hand, and I sigh, taking it.

"My name is Mei."

He releases my hand, saying, "Nice to meet you!"

"Mm."

"All right, that was fun for all of two seconds," Yusuke says, pretending to yawn as he walks back into the living room and flops down on the couch. "What's the plan for the day?"

"You're so rude, Urameshi!" Kuwabara snaps at his friend, moving to sit on the couch. Yusuke kicks Kuwabara hard, sending him to the floor and making Yusuke snort and double over with laughter.

"Dammit!" Kuwabara shouts, getting to his feet. "Grow up, would you?"

"Maybe tomorrow," Yusuke says.

All of this Kurama watches with a mildly amused smile on his face. When he notices me looking at him, he turns that smile on me, and I stiffen under his gaze. _Those eyes._ I stare down at my feet, heart suddenly beating faster.

"Are you all right?" he asks me.

"Mm."

"You're welcome to join us if you'd like," Kurama says. "We'll likely be playing video games and watching movies most of the day."

I don't say anything, still staring down at the floor, and after a few seconds longer, I hear him walk away. My heartbeat slows, and I press the heels of my palms to my eyes, taking a deep breath. On a list of things I hate: making eye contact with people.

Words can lie. Expressions, body language, everything can lie. Eyes tend to be too honest, and in that moment, Kurama's eyes seemed to be asking me to step in. Into the living room, into someone else's life, someone else's friendships and activities with those friends. Suddenly, I'd been terrified for the first time in many years.

Breathing deeply, I look over at the trio on the couch, all three of them settled comfortably. Not just on the couch but in their relationships with each other. There can't possibly be room for anyone else between them. Even if I'd wanted to try, which I don't, I wouldn't have fit.

"Yo, Mei, come on!" Yusuke shouts. "I need someone else to pummel!" He holds up a controller, which is when I notice they're all holding one. _Video games_. Not something I'm familiar with. Is this the kind of situation I can get out of?

"Don't force her, Urameshi," Kuwabara says. To me, he adds, "It's okay if you don't want to play."

"Yeah, if she's chicken like you are," Yusuke retorts. "It's just a game. It isn't going to hurt her."

 _You're welcome to join us…._

Against my better judgment, I walk over to Yusuke, taking the offered controller. This, I already know I will not enjoy, but it might be a better idea to get on the good side of these men. That's what I tell myself as I settle on the floor in front of them, eyeballing the bit of plastic and wiring in my hand, wondering how in the three worlds this works.

The TV flashes, and I look up to see a screen with the words "character selection" at the top. Simple enough. I pick one of the brightly colored characters, waiting as the others do the same.

"No handicaps," Yusuke says. "All men are equal when it comes to getting their asses kicked."

"You're an ass, Urameshi," Kuwabara says. "Don't worry Mei, I'll bet him up for you."

None of this means anything to me. All I have to do is play. I don't have to play well. I nod my head at him, as it seems he's looking for some kind of response. After that, the game starts.

It doesn't take more than a minute for me to lose all of the three lives I have. Meanwhile, the others are still fighting it out. I watch, having difficulty keeping up with the movements of the characters on the screen, the flashing lights and colors not making it any easier. When the match is over, Yusuke has won after what, judging by the sound of the clacking buttons, was an intense fight between himself and Kuwabara.

"Damn, Mei, you suck," Yusuke says. "It's like you've never played a video game before."

I don't look at him, staring down at my controller instead. _So many buttons._

"Wait, don't tell me you haven't?"

At this, I do turn my gaze on him. "Why would I?"

"For fun?" Yusuke shakes his head, eyes wide. "Seriously, how do you keep yourself entertained?"

It's like he thinks I've had all this downtime to just learn frivolous things like video gaming. "Very carefully."

Kuwabara snorts a laugh, and I have to fight the urge to look at him, surprised. _Did I make him laugh?_ "Nice one, Mei."

"Like hell it was," Yusuke says. "Let's do this again." He turns back to the TV, kicking us to the character selection screen again.

"Yusuke can't stand to lose at anything," Kurama says, and I nod. He's been so quiet I almost forgot he was here.

"Hmph," Yusuke grunts, and the game starts again.

We play through round after round, Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanging insults as Kurama listens, clearly enjoying his friends' antics. Something must be wrong with me because the sound of their voices back and forth like that is bothering me less and less as the day wears on.

It isn't until my character launches Yusuke's off of the map and the word "Victory" appears on the screen that I realize my heart is racing from...excitement?

"Dammit, that was a fluke!" Yusuke shouts at me. "How did you do that?"

"Pressed buttons?" I reply blankly, still trying to process what just happened.

"Redo," he snaps, starting the match again.

We play and the same thing happens. I launch him from the map, succinctly becoming the victor. This warm feeling blooms in my chest, and I clench the controller in my hands, staring at it as I realize my hands are trembling.

"What the hell?" Yusuke says. "I've been playing this game for months and you've only been playing for a couple of hours. What's your secret?"

"S-sorry," I mutter, getting to my feet and setting the controller down. "Not feeling well." Without another word, I leave them, heading straight for my room. I close the door and lock it behind me, striding to the center of the room.

 _What was that?_ My heart is still pounding, my head a little light. I close my eyes, focusing on regulating my pulse and my breathing until both are back to normal. It's only then, with a clear mind that I realize what that feeling had been: exhilaration. I'd felt joy at beating Yusuke at that stupid game. I've spent years trying to remain as neutral as possible, as uninvolved, and yet a few hours of mashing buttons is enough to break me. I had enjoyed playing that game with those three. What's more, I had very much liked winning.

 _This is dangerous._ These people are very very dangerous for me to be around. They're too nice, too unassuming...too easy to get attached to. I'm going to have to be very careful in the future as far as my interactions with them. I can't let myself get carried away, can't allow feelings like that. Not again.

I rake a hand through my dark hair, turning and staring at the locked door. _I'm not going back out there._ At least...not right now. I need to regather myself. Even as a tiny voice in my head asks what's so wrong with getting attached, I squash it. I know better than to entertain thoughts like that. For my safety and theirs, it's best that I continue to suppress my feelings. That way, no one will get hurt when I inevitably disappear.

The sound of the window opening draws my gaze, but before I have time to react, I'm pinned to the ground, a blade at my throat, dark eyes boring into me as a voice growls, "What the hell are you doing here?"

* * *

A/N: Sorry this one is so much shorter than the ones before. Honestly, I just really wanted to cut the story here. *Insert evil laugh?* Anyway, this story is running away from me, and I can't keep up, but what else is new? Thanks to YukinaBlueRose, Sidako, and goober92 for the reviews! :)


	6. Reading into Things

Perhaps it was unkind of Kurama to pick on Kuwabara like he had, but it hadn't all been to tease his friend. He'd also been testing his wards. With how high his spiritual awareness was, Kurama was certain if Kuwabara had sensed Mei sooner, he would have given Kurama a call or simply not come in in the first place. However, clearly Kurama's precautions had done the trick. It wasn't until Mei had opened the door that any hint of her energy had escaped.

However, Kuwabara's reaction was stronger than anticipated. The man had been able to tell that Mei wasn't human and that her energy certainly wasn't normal. That wasn't a good sign. Was it possible such a strong ability to sense was localized to Kuwabara? Kurama couldn't recall having met another human with senses nearly as strong as his friend, but that didn't mean it was impossible.

And since today, apparently, was going to be one full of surprises, Yusuke had managed to convince Mei to play video games with them. Kurama hadn't expected it at all, but the only thing that shocked him more was watching her face. Her usually carefully schooled expression had gone from blank to focused to almost joyful as the games wore on. When she beat Yusuke, he'd seen her smile for the first time since they'd met only two days ago.

It made her unhappy. That was the only reason Kurama could think for why she'd left so quickly. He'd felt her turmoil of emotion when she'd closed the door to her room, her energy going haywire. It had been Kurama's intention to leave her alone, but then he'd sense Hiei. His old friend spent so much time in Demon World that Kurama hadn't even thought to tell him about the charge Koenma had left in his care. Certainly, Hiei wouldn't give the girl a second thought, would he?

Unless he thought she was an intruder in Kurama's home.

...

I don't respond to the demon crouched over me, instead taking in his appearance. He's short, with spiky black hair, wearing a black shirt and pants. His red eyes are cold and hard, two things I'm very used to seeing. The fury in them makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, but still, I say nothing.

"I asked you a question," he snarls. "What are you doing in this apartment?"

This is a far too common situation, and one I don't really feel like dealing with. Instead, I just stare up at him. He smells like fire. Even my human nose can detect that. I wonder if that means he's a fire demon. His arm is bandaged, but I can tell it's not from a wound. There's power trapped just beneath the thin wrapping, waiting for a chance to be unleashed.

"Tch." He raises his blade, swinging.

"Hiei!" It happens in the span of a breath. The door to the room flies open, the sword moves, and its path is interrupted by Kurama's rose whip, the plant stem wrapping around the cold metal.

"Kurama, let go," the dark-haired demon snarls as Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara enter the room.

"No, Hiei. You need to get off of her before you get hurt," Kurama says, his voice low.

"Don't insult me, Kurama. She can't…." His voice trails off as he looks down to see that he's no longer pinning me. Instead, he's kneeling on the carpet, his sword poised over a tuft of fox fire that would explode if touched. I'm over to one side of the room, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. My demon energy is swirling around me, just enough to summon a single kitsunebi.

"Whoa, sweet!" Yusuke says, grinning. "How did you do that?"

"Substitute," I reply.

"It's a kitsune trick," Kurama adds. "The user casts fire somewhere other than their body and can swap places with it at will."

"Why," Hiei growls, "are you all talking about this as though there isn't a strange demon in here?" He shoots a glare at me as I retract the fox fire, giving him a dead-eyed stare.

"Because there isn't," Kurama says, sounding exasperated. "She's a guest."

The demon eyes me for a long moment before saying, "Whose guest?"

"Koenma's."

"Tch." Hiei stands upright, sheathing his sword. "You have a habit of getting yourself involved with pointless things, Kurama."

"I am aware," Kurama replies. "Hiei, what brings you here?"

"I need to talk to you. In private."

Kurama sighs, and I watch as his normally careful expression flashes with irritation. "Come on, then. We'll go to my room." The two leave with Hiei shooting one final dark glare in my direction.

"You okay, fox girl?" Yusuke asks me.

I nod, wrapping my arms around myself. This is too much in one day. I just want to curl up in bed and never get up again. That sounds nice right about now.

"Stupid Hiei, always dropping in and starting problems," Kuwabara says. "No word from him for months, but he has no problem busting into someone's house and trying to kill their guests."

"I'm hardly a guest," is out of my mouth before I have the common sense to take it back.

"She's got a point," Yusuke says. "She's kind of a guest-prisoner thing. Like, a super combo."

"A super sucky combo," Kuwabara adds.

Super sucky combon, huh? That sounds like my life right there. I listen to them banter back and forth, trying to figure out the best way to describe my situation, barely able to keep up with their aberrant train of thought.

I'm not sure how long this goes on before Kurama and Hiei re-enter the room, Kurama looking exasperated and Hiei glaring at me. I stare at his hair, blank-eyed, and his hands ball into fists.

"Hiei would like," Kurama says, sounding like he's thoroughly over this conversation, "to fight with you."

 _What?_ I frown at Kurama, not sure I properly understood.

"Why the hell do you have to pick on everyone?" Yusuke asks Hiei. "Mei's just trying to mind her own business, and you have to come in, sword blazing, trying to start something."

"She's a golden fox," Hiei growls. "She can't possibly mind her own business when every demon in every world wants her head. Besides, I want to see just how strong this legendary breed really is."

"Despite my telling him that you are not golden yet and therefore don't have access to that level of power," Kurama says.

"Just an excuse." Hiei walks toward me, his gaze attempting to burn a hole in my skull. "If you deserve to live to reach your 1000th year, then you won't let my blade rip you to shreds. Fight me here and now, or I'll be back."

"And if she kicks your ass, you'll come back anyway," Yusuke says.

"Shut up," Hiei snaps, shooting a look Yusuke's way. "This is between me and this fox."

This fox is thoroughly done with this short demon's massive attitude. I know he means every word. If I don't beat him now and completely, he will come back. If I lose on purpose, he'll likely kill me. I can sense his energy flowing off of him, bombarding me with strength. I don't think this human form will be enough to face him, but I won't give him the satisfaction of my demon body from the start.

"Fine," I say, dragging my gaze across him, giving the appearance that I'm sizing him up. In reality, his actions, coupled with his scent and the reactions of those around us have already told me everything I need to know about him and the way he fights. I shove my hands in my pants pockets, looking over at Kurama. He looks like he'd expected me to say yes, and I have to shake the discomfort that springs from the idea that he's beginning to understand the way I'm thinking.

"We can't do it here," Kurama says. "It would be impossible to hide Mei's unique energy signals, and I refuse to be responsible for the damage that Hiei will cause." He sighs, looking at Kuwabara. "We should comm Koenma and tell him he's going to have visitors."

Part of me was certain the next time I ended up in Spirit World, I would be dead. Never in all my years did I think I would be standing in a big, empty room in King Koenma's castle, being stared down by a demon who wants nothing more than to gut me while his friends look on, silently judging.

Well, maybe not silently.

"Kick his ass, Mei!"

"Yeah, you show that shorty!"

"Please, be careful, Mei!"

Yusuke, Kuwabara, Botan, Kurama, and Koenma, accompanied by a blue-skinned ogre, all stand behind a force-field, off to the far end of the room, ready to watch the two morons in the middle go at each other. According to Koenma, this chamber is heavily fortified to withstand any amount of energy and abuse. Part of me hopes he's right. The rest of me wants it to crumble around us just for the sake of it.

"I'm looking forward to this," Hiei says, taking off his shirt.

 _That makes one of us._ I stand there, facing him, making sure to look as unprepared as possible.

"You can't hope to best me in that pathetic body," he snarls at me. More silence. "Tch." He springs forward, slashing with his sword, but I neatly sidestep. This continues for a minute or so, before he pulls back. I know he's testing me, seeing just what level of skill I have in this human body. Apparently, he's disappointed with the showing I've put in so far because the expression on his face darkens.

"Worthless. How do you expect to survive at your skill level?"

"I've made it this far," I reply.

"Hn." He's fast. Much faster than I could ever hope to move. However, my reaction time is instantaneous. When his sword is just about to hit, I substitute, moving to another spot in the room.

"Silly tricks won't save you!" he snaps, flash stepping once more. Yet again, I substitute, and we continue this dance, moving around the room. Substitution is as easy as breathing for me, requiring so little energy that I can do it regardless of the body I take on. However, it has its downsides. For example, if the person I'm facing down has half a brain, they can locate the fire I'm going to substitute with, they can beat me to the punch.

I'll give Hiei credit for a quarter of a brain because it takes him a long time to figure that out. Grabbing me by my shirt front, he smashes me into the ground, and I grimace, the wind knocked out of me.

"Quit running from me," he snarls. "Stand and fight."

"Fine." I press my hands against his chest, sending a pulse through his body as a leaf appears, touching the top of my head. I transform into my demon form as Hiei collapses on top of me. Shoving him off, I get to my feet, taking a few steps back and looking at his prone form. "I'm standing," I tell him. "Why aren't you?"

"What the hell did you do to me?" he snarls from his position on the ground. I can see his muscles struggling to right himself, but he can't move. I wave my hand, and he springs to his feet, glaring daggers at me. "Answer the question."

 _Removed your bones._ Instead of saying that, I just continue to stare, which serves to fuel his fire. His energy begins to crackle around him in waves as he tosses his sword to one side. "I'm tired of your games, fox." He begins to undo the bandages on his arm, his red eyes burning fury. If looks could kill…. The bandaging falls away to reveal a black dragon tattoo, curling around his arm. The mass of energy around him increases exponentially, flowing off of him in waves.

"Hey, hold on, Hiei!" Yusuke shouts. "You could kill her with that."

"Or us!" Kuwabara cries.

"Then leave!" Hiei replies. "I will not be toyed with any further by this pathetic excuse for a demon."

Now, that's going a little too far, I think. I tug on a lock of hair, grimacing. I've never been fond of my orange hair. It made me stand out too much when I was younger and hadn't mastered the art of shapeshifting. As I got older, it became associated with pain and suffering, which only made me loathe it even more. I can't wait until it turns golden and I don't have to look at it anymore.

"Allow me to put you in your place," Hiei states as his energy reaches a ridiculous high, the walls and floor starting to shake. To Koenma's credit, everything in the room is still intact. At least, for now.

I hold out a hand toward Hiei, as though asking for him to proceed, and he snarls.

"Dragon of the Darkness Flame!"

I watch as a massive purple dragon emerges from the haze of Hiei's energy, crackling and swirling with immense power, its piercing eyes gazing through me, into my very soul. The hairs on my tails and the back of my neck are all on end, my fur full of static as the dragon starts to move, soaring in my direction.

Just as it's about to collide with me, I reach my hands out, one on either side of its muzzle, and it freezes in place, it's maw inches from my head. "There," I murmur to the dragon. "Easy does it."

After a moment or two, as we stand there, eye to eye, it calms under my touch, closes its maw, and nuzzles my hand before fading away. I roll my shoulders, looking over at Hiei to find him staring dumbfounded, eyes as wide as saucers.

"Did she just…?" Kuwabara gasps.

"What the actual hell?" Yusuke adds.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly before pressing my hands together in front of my face. I clap twice, concentrating as my own demonic energy starts to flow out of me, gently encompassing everything around us. _Slowly. So slowly._ It feels like it takes ages before I've finally managed to pull enough from inside of me. It doesn't help that I haven't done this in ages.

 _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven._ When I put my hands down, the room is so silent, you could hear a pin drop. After a few seconds, the sound of dragons breathing can be heard. Behind me stand seven of the dragons from Spirit World: one of Wind, one of Fire, one of River, one of Earth, one of Spirit, one of Heaven, and one of Void. Their energy is calm, soothing almost, even as their presence seems to weigh down the very air.

"All I want," I say, looking at the frozen Hiei, "is to be left alone." I turn my back on him, bowing to each dragon in turn, rubbing a muzzle or scratching under a chin before they all return to their homes, deep in the heart of Spirit World.

"Okay, that," Yusuke says, breaking the silence, "was the coolest thing I've ever seen."

"You mean terrifying," Kuwabara gasps. "Did you see how many dragon thingies she had?"

"Seven," Koenma says, his voice tight.

"How?" Hiei snarls, and when I turn to face him again, he's inches from me, glaring. "How did you manage to tame seven of the dragons of Spirit World and calm my own so easily?"

"Centuries of practice," I reply. "My own dragons sought me out. As for yours, he must have recognized my strength."

"Mei." Kurama's voice makes me turn to look at him. He's got a disapproving look on his face, as he says, "That was entirely a gamble, catching the Darkness Dragon like that, wasn't it?"

"It was one of many possible options," I reply. "I always have backup plans."

"You sound like Kurama," Yusuke says. "Hey, can you show me how to summon dragons and look like a badass? That'd be pretty sweet."

"No," Koenma says. "It's bad enough that Hiei has one at his beck and call. I don't need someone as reckless as you getting any ideas."

"Lame," Yusuke says. "Geez, Toddler Breath, can't you lighten up? Imagine riding one of those or something!"

"If you want your ass disintegrated, be my guest," Hiei grunts.

"All right, that's enough," Koenma says, and everyone turns to look at him. "I'll have someone escort you back to Living World. I've got things I need to do today."

 _Is that fear I smell?_ I can't help but run my tongue over my canines, the smell making something inside me a little...feral. Less demon and more animal once again. My fox side tends to take over when I've exerted a good amount of energy in this form, so for the sake of my sanity, I change back into my human body, walking toward the door.

Yusuke and Kuwabara don't join us back at Kurama's apartment, so it's just the two of us for the evening. Kurama seems irritated, but I can't think of why. Surely it's not because I defeated his friend in combat. That was not a fight I wished to pursue, after all. So, what then was the matter?

 _And why do I care?_ I don't, which is why I refuse to ask him what's on his mind. I'm not even a little curious. Not a bit. With this in mind, when he does speak, I don't find it relieving. Not at all.

"That wasn't really a fight today," Kurama says as he steps into the kitchen.

I frown, not sure what he means. "No."

"If you had actually fought Hiei, instead of resorting to tricks, things would have ended much more quickly."

"I didn't see a reason to," I reply.

"Respect for your opponent or the challenge?"

Dumbfounded, I find myself staring blatantly at him. "Respect? What respect did he have for me today?"

Kurama sighs, saying, "Hiei is a difficult case."

"Which is your way of making excuses for his piss poor behavior," I reply, narrowing my eyes.

He runs a hand through his hair, turning away from me. "Perhaps I'm so used to it that it doesn't faze me anymore."

"Don't preach to me when you don't have ground to stand on," I grunt, rubbing my arms. What is wrong with me today? So many emotions that aren't supposed to exist keep cropping up, and I hate it.

My words are met with silence, and I look away from him, staring intently at the grain of the table. My fingers trail along the surface, smoothed with lacquer, trying to focus on the coolness of the wood. After an uncomfortable amount of time, he finally speaks again.

"I apologize. Your show of power today raised more questions than I can even begin to imagine answers for, and it's frustrating to know if I ask you, you will not answer. I put that frustration into something else, which was wrong of me."

"It's fine," I reply, balling the hand on the table into a fist. "My respect must be earned, as must any questions you want answered."

"I'll keep that in mind," he says, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. "Is there anything in particular you want for dinner?"

And just like that, we've changed the subject, seamlessly. "Doesn't matter to me," I tell him. "Food is a luxury for me, so I'll eat anything."

He nods, not pressing any further as he begins to pull out a pot and heads to the pantry. "Maybe just instant ramen today."

 _There's no rice in ramen._ I press both of my palms into the table, splaying my fingers and focusing on my small, pale hands. _Not my hands. Hers._ Sucking in a sharp breath, I blink away a tear, surprised. Rubbing my eyes, I push away from the table roughly, gritting my teeth. Maybe I'm just tired. That's the only excuse I can think of for letting today get to me like it has. How very weak of me.

"Mei?" I jump at Kurama's voice, looking up at him with wide-eyes. "Dinner's done." He has two steaming bowls in his hands that he sets down, looking concerned. Much to my relief, he doesn't ask the questions I'm sure he's wondering about. Instead, he sets down chopsticks and a spoon for each of us before taking a seat and beginning to eat.

I do the same, eyeing the chicken ramen. Even when going for simple, it's still pretty complex. He's added vegetables and actual chunks of chicken that I stare at for a long moment before beginning to eat. The only sounds in this modest space are that of chopsticks clacking and noodles being slurped. It's a symphony of utterly normal noises, so much so that I almost laugh. In all my hundreds of years, I never would have expected a situation like this, sitting in a normal apartment, eating normal ramen from a normal bowl in normal silence with a markedly abnormal man.

Looking over at his bowl, I watch his chopsticks sink in and leave, noodles in tow, wondering, not for the first time, exactly what Kurama is. Every time I've gotten the chance to get a good smell of him, all I can come up with is that he's not entirely human. Even the least spiritually advanced child could have surmised that after seeing his rose whip in action. It's mildly vexing that I can't figure it out. It feels like there's some big piece of a puzzle that I just can't put into the right place, despite the gap being right in front of me.

Once we've finished eating, Kurama takes our bowls and utensils to the sink, rinsing them out before settling onto the couch and turning on the TV very low, just like last night. He picks up his book, looking over at where I'm still sitting at the table.

"Do you like to read, Mei? I've plenty of books around if you want to take a look." This, accompanied with a smile.

"Thanks, but no," I tell him.

His expression flickers for the briefest of moments, from a confused frown to curiosity. "I would think, having lived as long as you have, that books would hold their fair share of interest for you."

"My longevity is precisely why I've lost a liking for them," I reply. "Nowadays, I only read what is necessary for survival."

"That's an interesting way to think about it," he says, nodding his head. "I can understand where reading might become a chore when thought about that way. And with survival as your only goal in life, it makes sense that you wouldn't posses a desire to escape through worlds of fiction."

"Life is complicated enough without the complication that fantastical worlds bring into the picture," I reply, shrugging.

"I can only imagine," he says, turning away from me and beginning to read again. After a few minutes of watching him, I get up and head to my room, once again sitting on the floor and meditating. My goal tonight is to rid myself of the mass of emotions that have surfaced recently. All the hints of fear, of anger, of joy, of confusion. Gone. Or at least, as gone as I can make them.

Hours pass this way, with me trying to force out my emotions, to show them they have no place in me. When I feel like I've done a good enough job, I get to my feet and open the door, listening. I can't hear the TV anymore. Does that mean he's asleep?

It's late. Very late. Even so, as I creep into the empty living room, I feel wide awake. That book is still sitting on that side table. It stares me down, bringing to mind Kurama's questions from early. I don't like reading. So, why?

This, I ask myself as I take a seat on the couch, breezing through the rest of the novel. When it's finished, I carefully set it back, sighing. Nope. I still don't find any amount of joy in reading.

A week breezes by faster than I know what to do with. Three meals a day and the same warm bed every night will do that to a person who isn't used to that, I think. My days are punctuated by a series of babysitters and empty moments. Sometimes, it's Yusuke or Kuwabara, the former constantly looking to kick my butt in video games, and the latter still working on meeting my eyes. Other times, or should I say most times, it's Botan, trying to make friends.

Her pursuit of me is tireless and relentless, two things I really wish it wasn't. She's not even put off by my dodging or simply not answering questions, instead supplying me with information about herself that I did not ask for. She also feels the need to regale me with tales of what "the boys" used to get up to.

I learn that Yusuke has died several times, that Kuwabara has always had unnervingly sharp spiritual awareness, that Hiei has been and forever will be, a short asshole, and that Kurama is a demon in a human body who very much loves his human mother. The stories that she tells me about their missions together for King Koenma range from comical to harrowing, and she seems to enjoy the telling, especially with a captive audience. It makes me wonder how she finds the strength to care so much about things like this. It must be exhausting to have that much pep.

Every night, once Kurama gets home, whoever was spending time with me during the day leaves, and Kurama makes us dinner. He's good at cooking, something I'm learning to appreciate more and more as time goes by. The chicken and fish dishes are my favorites, save for of course, when there's white rice to go along with it. This doesn't happen nearly as often as I'd like, but I'm not about to complain. I know better than to look this gift horse in the mouth.

Then, once dinner is over, Kurama reads with the TV on low, and I go to my room. Once he's gone to bed, I sneak out into the living room and read whatever book he'd been enjoying earlier, still trying to figure out what it is about books that he seems to like. According to Botan, Kurama was also rather old. Surely, he'd read everything he cared to by now, right? But that isn't the case, and I'm curious to learn why.

We fall into this routine as easily as breathing, and I begin to think that maybe I'll make it to that 1000th year after all. As long as things stay like this, it'll be a cinch.

* * *

A/N: Someone tell Mei thinking like that is a recipe for disaster, please. So, I was explaining the Darkness Dragon scene to a friend of mine, and she said she could just picture Mei treating this hellish dragon god like a dog, like "who's a good boy!" Which is what that scene morphed into. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this odd chapter. Expect the drama to kick up a notch for the next chapter. Character development or something!

Thanks for reading, and a special thanks to YukinaBlueRose for the review! Your reviews always brighten my day!


	7. Get Swamped

Koenma had been pacing the length of his room so much that he'd started to wear down the carpet beneath his feet. Ayame watched him with Jorge at her side, the blue ogre biting his nails, a habit the ferry girl detested, as much for the action as for the sound he kept making. Ogre fingernails were thick.

"A disaster. An actual disaster," Koenma muttered, worrying himself sick. "How in the name of the Three Worlds are we going to deal with this? She could wipe us all off the face of the Earth with a wave of her hand."

"But she hasn't sir," Ayame reminded him. "She's had this power for quite some time, and not once has she raised it against any of the worlds."

Koenma stopped pacing, instead leaning against his desk and tapping his foot. He'd taken on his adult form for the express purpose of looking cooler while he paced, something Jorge and Ayame were both well-aware of. Even when completely lost for ideas, their king still wanted to look cool about it.

"No, she hasn't. However, that doesn't mean she won't or hasn't thought about it."

"What would she have to gain from it?" Ayame asked. They'd been down this train of thought several times before with nothing to show for it, but Ayame was hoping that maybe this umpteenth time, she might be able to reach him.

"I don't know," Koenma said. "The joy of mass destruction?"

"She doesn't seem like the type to me, sir," Jorge said. "She didn't even put a scratch on your fancy fighting room, after all."

"From what you've told me of her, sir," Ayame continued, "she doesn't do things unless they further her goal of survival. She's currently under your protection. Why would she do anything to jeopardize that?"

"She's got upper S tier energy!" Koenma shouted. "What does she need my protection for?"

"Just because she's strong doesn't mean she's invulnerable," Ayame told him, trying to remain patient. "After all, she was laid out by a gunshot to the chest, right?"

"Yes, yes," Koenma said. "But that's because she clings to that human body of hers for some reason."

"About that," Ayame said. "I did some research into it and found something that might interest you. I'll send you a full report when it's complete."

"Mm." He nodded and pushed off the desk to pace again. "Mei is going to become even more powerful once she turns golden. There has to be a way to make sure she's either on our side or not going to cause trouble before then."

"I'm sure there is," Ayame said, sighing. Koenma was making a mountain out of a molehill. There were gads of incredibly powerful demons in Demon World, so why was he so afraid of this particular one? The fact that she'd been alive for nearly a millennium and only just caught Spirit World's attention should have been enough of an indicator that she didn't mean to stir up any trouble.

Still, despite looking much less vexed, Koenma continued to pace.

…

Keiko kicked Yusuke hard, making him grunt and fall out of bed. She rolled over, burrowing into the blankets and stealing his spot. The bed was very warm where he'd been laying, and she sighed.

"The hell was that for?" Yusuke grumbled, getting to his feet.

"You have to get up," Keiko murmured in reply. "You've got that girl to look after."

Yusuke groaned, heading into the bathroom and leaving Keiko with a few more moments of blissful silence before she too had to get up. She wasn't a huge fan of Yusuke doing this favor for Koenma, but at least he was getting paid for it. It was the only way to compensate for the time he lost at his ramen stand when he was at Kurama's.

Keiko had been pretty mad about the whole thing when she'd first heard about it.

"What you're saying is, you're leaving this poor girl alone at Kurama's house. And she's not allowed to leave."

"Yeah," Yusuke told her. "It kind of sucks."

"Kind of?" She shook her head. "That's absolutely awful. Even if it _is_ for her own safety, that's pretty sick. Is there nothing Koenma can do to make it easier on her? I think I'd go crazy locked inside all the time."

"Beats me," Yusuke replied. "All I know is that she doesn't seem to care much either way. She never asks to go out. Really, she doesn't talk much at all."

"Would you, if you were in her shoes?" She held up a hand as he opened his mouth to speak, saying, "Nevermind, don't answer that. You never stop talking."

Now, as the sound of a toilet flushing breaks into her silence, she sighs, wishing for five more minutes.

"If you don't get up, I'm going to make you," Yusuke said, walking back into the room.

"No," she muttered into her pillow.

"You asked for it." Yusuke dive-bombed the bed, flopping sideways on top of Keiko who grunted.

"Get off me, stupid!" she whined, laughing as he started to tickle her. "No, no, fine, I'm awake, I surrender." The tickle assault stopped as Yusuke moved to lay beside Keiko, pulling her into his arms. She nuzzled against him before giving him a quick kiss.

"What do you have to do today?" he asked her, his face in her hair.

"Just a short shift," she mumbled. "Should be done around lunch time." Which is when an idea crossed her mind. "Hey, Yusuke?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I could meet her?"

"Meet who?" he asked.

"Mei."

A beat of silence, presumably for thinking, although, Keiko'd known Yusuke long enough to understand that that was often not the case. Finally, he said, "I don't see why not."

…

The space between the time Kurama leaves and the time Yusuke comes over is short, but it's heavy with the words he gives me before he departs for the day.

"I'll talk to Koenma about letting you alone while I'm gone. I don't exactly think you need constant babysitters."

That means no more Yusuke with his loud TV and his probing questions I don't feel like answering. No more Kuwabara with his trying too hard to be nice when he clearly pities me. Just me and an empty house. Just like the old days.

I only have a few minutes to ponder whether I like this or not when Yusuke busts in, a grin on his face. "Good morning, Grumpy Gills!"

Some things I have zero chance of missing when they're gone. Like this interaction. "Good morning, Loudmouth."

"Hey, that's the spirit!" he cheers, grinning. "Here I was thinking you didn't have a sense of humor."

"I don't," I reply. "I ate it a long time ago."

"Well, it might help if you spit it back up," he says. "I don't think those digest very well."

He's lucky I dignified him with as many responses as I have. Sighing, I get up from the table, taking my breakfast dishes to the sink.

"We'll work on it," he says at my silence. "I think that's the most I've gotten out of you yet."

"Don't get used to it." This damn human's persistence is making me chatty, and it bothers me. The last person who pestered me this much was Kenta, and he had a way of making me say more than I wanted to as well. Apparently, I have a weakness for mulish determination.

This isn't the first time that I've thought of Kenta since I saw him last. Every time, it feels like a rock is settling into my stomach. What if he's dead? I know Boss doesn't take failure well, and it's entirely possible he took out his anger at my failure and subsequent desertion on the person who would have no doubt brought him that news. These thoughts are enough reason to curse getting attached to others. If I'd just kept everyone out of my life like I'd meant to, this wouldn't have happened. He would have just been another person in the world with no claim on my emotions.

"My fiancee is coming over later," Yusuke says, like this is a perfectly normal statement as he settles onto the couch, turning on the TV. "She wants to meet you."

"Does Koenma know about this?" I ask.

"What Toddler Bitch doesn't know won't hurt him," is the reply. That honestly might be the first time Yusuke and I have ever agreed on something. "Don't worry, I told her you don't like people, so she knows how prickly you are."

"Mm."

"You're like a less violent version of Hiei," he adds, flipping through the channels until he settles on some anime filled with giant mechs. While it's not something I enjoy, I've learned that if I don't pretend to watch now, I'll regret it by dint of Yusuke trying to grill me with inane questions later. As long as I stay in the room, he's content, for whatever reason.

With that in mind, I settle down on the floor in front of the couch, watching as one giant robot smashes into another. This is a continuation of what Yusuke and I watched yesterday, so I understand the gist of the plot, and I know the characters. The lead has ridiculous anime hair, and his female counterpart looks foreign. American, maybe.

"Yeah, kick his ass!" Yusuke shouts, startling me. "You got this, man!"

"Until he has to call his girl in to help," I deadpan.

"He doesn't always do that," Yusuke replies.

"Just ninety percent of the time. He'd probably be dead without her."

"I mean, she is his mechanic. Guy can pilot, but he sure as hell can't fix anything."

"This we say while ignoring the romantic tension, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

I look up at him, frowning. "You're kidding?" He continues to look at me like I'm crazy, and I sigh. "There's so much tension between them that I can practically see it. How do you not notice?"

"You're such a girl, Mei. Guys don't notice shit like that."

Shaking my head, I say, "Maybe not guys like you and him." I gesture to the screen as the lead does in fact get saved in some fashion or another by his female partner. "But I don't recommend speaking for the entire male population. I'm sure Kuwabara would have noticed."

"Yeah, but that blockhead is a little too in touch with his feelings if you ask me."

Closing my eyes, I lean back against the couch, exasperated. While I'd have to agree that Yusuke is right, it wouldn't be for the same reasons as his own.

After a long moment, Yusuke says, "I bet you just think the character's ass looks good."

"Don't push your fantasies on me," I reply, to which he laughs.

"See, that's a good quip. This isn't so hard, is it?"

 _More than you know._

We continue to watch, with Yusuke trying to get more conversation out of me, but I do my best to ignore him, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my head on the top. I need this day to be over, please. I just want to curl up in bed and wait for the next three weeks to pass. If only life worked that way. Why don't foxes hibernate?

Around one in the afternoon, there's a knock on the door. Yusuke leaps over the couch, a goofy-looking smile on his face that's nearly on par with the one Kuwabara wears whenever someone mentions his girlfriend. He pulls the door open to reveal a young human woman with straight brown hair and dark brown eyes. She's shorter than Yusuke, and while she looks soft and weak, I get the feeling, by the way she carries herself, that she's stronger than she appears.

"Hey, beautiful," Yusuke says, leaning against the doorframe.

"I brought food," she replies.

"You're the most amazing person in the world," he tells her, grinning as he takes the bags from her. He sets them on the table, the smell of takeout Chinese hitting me like a wave. It takes me back to a night not that long ago when someone else had brought me Chinese food. I stretch my legs out in front of me, watching the robots fight, wondering what those things are made of that they can take so much damage without hurting the pilot.

"Yo, Mei, come meet Keiko." Yusuke waves at me from across the room, and I sigh, getting to my feet. As I approach, Yusuke says, "Keiko, this is Mei. She's a prickly sourpuss who doesn't like anyone. She also never talks, so you can say shit like that about her and get away with it."

I narrow my eyes at him, saying, "You're not worth the time it takes to come up with a response."

"That was a response!" he sing-songs.

"Stock replies don't count," I tell him.

"Totally do," he says, grinning.

I ignore this, my eyes falling on Keiko who is looking at me with a smile. Nodding my head to her, I offer a small bow.

"It's nice to meet you, Mei," she says. "I've heard a lot about you."

That's reassuring. Not that I care what one more human thinks of me.

"All good things," Yusuke says, grabbing some of Kurama's dishes and setting them out. "Like all the cool tricks you can do."

"Am I a dog?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.

"Bark bark," he jokes, laughing.

"Yusuke, you're such a jerk," Keiko grumbles. "Just ignore him," she tells me, giving me that same warm smile. I haven't decided if I find it annoying or not.

"She always does," Yusuke whines. "Seriously, she's so stoic. Unless she's fighting. Then she has a sense of humor." He shakes his head, saying, "I'd love to spar with you sometime. I want to see if I can't do like Hiei and figure out your weird substitute thing."

"Unlikely," I reply. "The only reason he could was because he's so fast."

"You shoulda seen it, Keiko," Yusuke says, sitting down as Keiko begins to dole out the food. "She had all these dragons, and I swear I thought Koenma was going to shit himself."

"You've already told me about it," she replies, shaking her head as she passes me the container of white rice. _Your first mistake._ I dump the entire thing onto my plate, ignoring the looks they give me.

"You, uh, really like rice, huh?" Yusuke says, starting to eat his own food. I don't respond, grabbing a disproportionate amount of meat and veggies to go with my mountain of rice. "You should tell Kurama so he can make it more often."

"Pass," I reply.

"Why not?"

"I'm already freeloading. You really think I should ask for more?"

"It's just rice," he says, clicking his chopsticks at me. "It's not like it'll kill the guy."

"Why does this matter?" I ask, getting irritated.

"Exactly!" Yusuke grins as though I've somehow proven my point with my words.

I grit my teeth, just focusing on the rice as Yusuke and Keiko talk about anything and everything. At first glance, the two appear perfectly incompatible. She's so serious, and he thinks everything is a joke. She's very careful and he's a mess. However, the more I listen, the more I see just how well they work. They're both incredibly warm people who care about every word that comes out of the other person's mouth. Even if Yusuke likes to pretend he doesn't.

Once we're done eating, Keiko washes the dishes, and then the three of us settle in the living room, Yusuke and Keiko arguing over what to watch on TV. Once they finally agree on a gameshow, Keiko tries to ask me questions I don't feel like answering.

How old am I? What's my favorite food, color, TV show, book, etc. How long have I been in Living World? Are my parents still alive? It goes on and on, occasionally broken up by Yusuke telling her to lay off since I won't respond. After a while, she seems fed up as well.

"Mei, what are you afraid of?"

"Nothing," I say, not looking at her as I sit on the floor, eyes on the TV. I'd thought this was just part of her interrogation.

"You're lying," she says, and I merely grunt in response. "You're absolutely terrified of letting people get to know you."

Sitting up, I narrow my eyes at her, but I still don't say anything, waiting for her to continue.

"That's why you won't answer any of my questions, why you've been avoiding answering Yusuke's. You don't want to let people get close to you."

"Your point?" I ask.

"So, I was right." She sighs, and I watch as pity slides into her expression, setting me on edge. Yusuke stands, leaving us to presumably go to the bathroom or something.

"Congrats," I reply.

"Why?" she asks. "What makes you push people away so hard?"

"Why does it matter?" I reply.

"Because it must be pretty lonely that way."

"Who cares?" I get to my feet, crossing my arms. "Seriously, why is my life any of your business?"

"It isn't," she says, also standing. "But you walked into Yusuke's and Kurama's and Kuwabara's, which means it's starting to be. They care about you, whether you want them to or not, and I don't like seeing them get so stressed over something like this."

"I didn't ask to walk into anyone's life," I growl. "All I want is to live and die in peace, by myself."

"No, you don't."

"What the hell do you know?" I snarl.

"I've always been pretty good at reading people," she says, "and I can tell you really want to reach out to someone, but you're afraid."

"So what if I am?" I shout. "Becoming attached to things will only make it harder for me to accept the inevitable."

"And what's that?" she asks.

"My imminent death. When I turn into a golden fox, there will be nowhere to hide anymore. I'll never be able to use my own skin again. Can you imagine what that feels like, always having to reside in the body of another because your very existence is a poison?"

"No," she says, shaking her head. "I really can't. But why does that mean you have to die, Mei? Why don't you just let people in so they can keep you safe?"

"So they can die for me?" I snarl, my skin starting to itch. "No, thanks. I'd rather not watch that happen again."

"If you're as strong as Yusuke says, then why do you need protection anyway?"

"I don't," I reply. "It's the people around me I need to keep safe. And I've failed too many times, so I've given up. I have no interest in getting attached to people or things anymore."

"You don't have to live that way."

"Yes, I do!" I shout, my words echoing in the space as the front door opens, Kurama stepping inside. Our eyes meet, concern in his gaze, but I quickly look away, storming off to my room.

"Mei!" Keiko calls after me.

"Leave me alone! Stop trying to save me." I slam my room door shut, throwing myself on the bed as I shed this human body, my kitsune form forcing its way through. The air around me grows thick with my energy, making it hard to breathe. Or maybe that's the tears I'm choking back. That stupid, stupid human. What the hell does she know? Nothing. She knows nothing about me, so why did I let her get under my skin so badly?

 _Because she's right._ I grab my pillow, throwing it across the room at the thought, glaring at where it lands, nowhere near far enough to make me feel better. The longer I look at it, the more it irritates me, so I get to my feet, walking over and picking it up. I hug it tightly to my chest, sinking down onto the floor, burying my face in it.

The last time I got attached to someone, they died in my arms, and I just can't handle that again. I can't handle the fact that I like Yusuke and Kuwabara and Kurama. I don't want them to get hurt because of my mistakes, and if I allow myself to get any closer, it's a guarantee that will happen. What do I do? How do I dig myself out of this hole I've started to fall into?

Kitsunebi start cropping up around me, and I wave a hand, dispersing them around the room as I think. What are my options? Can I run away again? If I do that, Koenma will find me, and he might kill me before I even reach golden. Especially after that stupid, _stupid_ show of force I exhibited the other day. And why? Because I wanted Hiei to leave me the hell alone. That's all I want. I just want to be alone.

 _That's not true._

More fox fire appears, and I smack it away roughly, focusing on the only thing that ever manages to calm me down: illusion. As I summon more fire, I turn the room from a normal, four-walled space into a Demon World swamp. I spare not a single detail, kitsunebi after kitsunebi finding its proper place as I carve out a proper hellscape, the vegetation so thick it would be impossible to find me.

The waters are deep and foul-smelling, deadly to the touch, and greener than liquid has any business being. The sounds of animals crying out, insects creeping, scuttling, chirping, fills the thick air, choking it with noise. I sit in the midst of it, unable to answer any of the questions that are spinning in my mind. The only thing I can seem to decide on is that I need my book.

It had been needling me ever since I came to live here that I'd left behind my book on mythology. I don't know if it's still in the apartment or not, but it's something I haven't been without since the day I got it. For now, it's the only thing I can focus on, the only thing I want in my life. This is the problem with attachments, whether to people or things. They convince you to do stupid things.

Sitting in the dark, deep in my swamp, the last thing I expect is to hear footsteps…. Perfectly human-well, maybe not perfectly-footsteps. I look up from my depths, wary as they get closer. My illusion is perfect, so who in the three worlds would be able to make their way through that unfalteringly?

After a few moments, a flash of red appears from behind the foliage, and Kurama steps out in front of me. As far as my illusion is concerned, he's waist-deep in toxic water, but he moves as though he's just walking through the room. When he sees me, deep in the water, drowning in green, he watches me for a long moment, his expression unreadable.

Several seconds pass this way before he walks over, sliding deeper into the depths until he reaches me, sinking down, the water over his head as he sits beside me. A normal person would have thought they were drowning by now, but Kurama isn't even bothered. He just stays there, close enough to touch if I dared. Not that I did. How rude of him to make his way into my private illusion and not even have the decency to look surprised.

"This is amazing," he says after a few minutes have come and gone. I bury my face in my pillow, not acknowledging his words. "Every detail is picture perfect. For a moment, I truly thought I'd stepped into the Great Swamp."

"Good," I mumble, not lifting my head, the fluff muffling my word.

"However, I don't recall any pillows being there."

"You must have missed them," I say. "They were growing on the carnivorous trees."

"Ah, naturally."

Silence falls again, and I lift my head, but only so I can stare out at the gloom of my swamp. After a while, Kurama gets to his feet, stretching. He's still in his work clothes, and I wonder what Keiko and Yusuke told him in the time before he came to find me. He doesn't seem angry, and there's no pity in his eyes, unlike Keiko. I don't want anyone's pity. I don't need it.

"I'm making Oyakodon for dinner," Kurama says, looking over his shoulder at me with a smile. "It should be ready in about a half hour. Come out whenever you're ready. Yusuke and Keiko have left."

I nod, holding out a hand, palm facing outward. The path that leads to the door is suddenly cleared, looking like the normal room.

"Thank you," he says, heading for the door. Once he's gone, I let the illusion fall back over the space again, wishing it could swallow me whole. Instead, now that I'm alone, it just makes me feel empty. I lay down on my side, facing the edge of the swamp, where the wall would be, curling up and holding tightly to my pillow as I count the minutes.

After exactly thirty have passed, I get to my feet, chucking my pillow into the swamp before beginning the process of pulling the fox fire back into me. It only takes a few seconds, and the illusion I'd spent so much effort constructing is gone.

When I step out of my room, Kurama is only just setting the table, two steaming bowls of egg, chicken, and rice marking our places. He takes a seat, and I follow suit, picking up my chopsticks and focusing on eating. Neither of us speak, but the silence isn't bad. It feels companionable, and I'm not sure if it bothers me or not. I'd expected him to be angry at me for yelling at his friend. If not angry, then I thought he'd at least have questions for me.

Instead, he made me dinner, didn't chastise me for turning my room into a swamp, and now we're just relaxing and eating. When we've both finished, he picks up the bowls and heads to the sink to wash them. This is the part of the night where I would normally go to my room and hide for a little while, but for some reason, I don't want to get up. I hunch my shoulders, staring intently at the grain of the table, waiting.

Kurama finishes the dishes, heading into the living room and turning on the TV as per usual. It's still on the game show channel that had been playing earlier. He sits down, picking up his book and beginning to read. I count to thirty before joining him, sitting on the floor in my usual spot, watching the TV. He doesn't comment...but he does turn the volume up, just a little bit. As I settle back against the couch, I realize I never changed back into my human body. I've been walking around as a demon from the time he found me in the swamp until now without even realizing.

* * *

A/N: This is the fun part where I remember that I have multiple stories that I should probably update at some point. Sorry, guys. A space cadet am I. Anyway, Mei finally snapped a bit. This is the most emotion she's shown yet, and I'm excited for it. As much as I appreciate the challenge, I want her to be happy. I swear, it'll happen eventually.

Thanks to YukinaBlueRose for the review! :D And thank you to everyone who's still bearing with me.


	8. A Cornered Fox

The swamp had been a shock. After talking with Keiko and Yusuke about what had happened with Mei, Kurama had gone to check on her, not expecting, once he'd opened the door to her room, to be in Demon World. As far as he could see, all around him, was the Great Swamp, a massive, deadly swamp hundreds of miles in area, filled with rare flora and fauna that he'd spent plenty of time studying back in his spirit fox days. He didn't much care to see it now, and especially not in his own home.

He focused his demon energy, seeing swirls of color around him. Raising a hand, he tossed a seed into the swamp. It hit the ground with a _thud_ , sprouting instantly, tendrils reaching up and toward him. He rested his fingertips on the plant, taking a deep breath. That was a good sign. This particular plant would have been choked by the real miasma in this swamp. So, this wasn't Demon World. That meant it was likely a very clever illusion, something he could work with.

This time, when he focused his energy, the swirling colors became wisps: Mei's kitsunebi. Once he made out their shapes, he could see through the illusion. It was still there, but it was superimposed on the floor, the walls, the furniture of his guest room. Most importantly, sitting in the back, tucked against the wall with her face buried in a pillow, was Mei. She was in her demon form, a single tail peeking out from behind her, her ears tucked flat against her head in unhappiness. For such a powerful being, she certainly looked very small.

Kurama took a step forward, and Mei looked up, her purple eyes locked onto his. He froze in place, and they stayed like that for a few seconds, Kurama processing somewhere in the back of his mind that this was the longest she'd ever met his eyes. It had only been a week that they'd known each other, but he knew she didn't like looking people in the eye.

Slowly, he walked toward her, settling down at the bottom of her swamp, sitting and leaning against the wall like she was. Silence stretched between them, Kurama wondering where to begin. If he approached the subject of Yusuke and Keiko, he was certain she would shut him out. That was the last thing he wanted. It had seemed like she had been growing closer to all of them as time passed, and what he'd walked in on this evening confirmed it. How could he continue to foster her goodwill toward himself and his friends in this moment?

"This is amazing," he offered after a few minutes in silence. "Every detail is picture perfect. For a moment, I truly thought I'd stepped into the Great Swamp."

He would just let the argument his friends had shared sit between them, not addressing it. Mei knew what she'd said, and he was positive she assumed he also knew, so there was little point in bringing it up again. Not here, and not now.

They shared a few words before Kurama left to make dinner, giving her time to collect herself and hopefully dismantle her illusion. Standing in the kitchen, he tried to focus on the tasks at hand, like cooking the rice and meat instead of the massive amount of convincing Koenma was going to need if he was going to get Mei a little bit of freedom. He'd already been working on how to keep an eye on her so that if she needed help, any of them could be there right away. She didn't need help hiding her energy since she could flawlessly copy another person's with just a touch.

Once he'd finished cooking, Mei came out, still, much to Kurama's surprise, in her demon form. He wondered if she even knew. The slow way she moved, coupled with her staunch refusal to meet his eyes once more made him doubt it. She seemed to have a lot on her mind, and what shape she took was nowhere near the forefront of her thoughts. It was strange. For someone who so staunchly despised her true form, he'd seen her in it rather a lot. Not that it bothered him. She was a very beautiful girl, and he'd always been partial to fox ears and tail from his own days running as a spirit fox. Part of him was sure being attractive only made it harder for her to keep people away like she seemed so determined to do, however.

When they'd both emptied their bowls, he took them to the sink, washing them before settling down on the couch, as per usual. He turned on the TV, both for the background noise and as an invitation for Mei to join him, not that she ever did. That didn't stop him from creating the opportunity. With the TV on, she could have come and watched without needing an excuse to be in the living room, something he was certain she would have wanted, had she ever taken him up on the offer.

He was pleasantly surprised, therefore, when she settled on the floor in front of the couch, silently watching the TV. She was close enough for him to touch, and as he looked down at her, her ears twitched, making him grimace. All of a sudden, he wanted to pat the top of her head, brush a hand along her fox ears, run fingers through her long tresses. Swallowing, he buried his nose in his book, squashing any thoughts other than those about the culprit to his mystery novel.

…

It had been a few days since Hisashi had last left his library. After trying to ascertain his missing employee's whereabouts and failing singularly, he'd taken to learning everything he could about golden kitsune. While he knew plenty of old wives' tales, he'd always assumed they were just stories with little to no truth in them. However, after what Kenta had told him that day she'd disappeared, he could no longer doubt the existence of golden foxes. All that remained was to discover how much was real and how much was made up to scare children or taunt the greedy.

Unfortunately, proven factual information was scarce. No two books could agree perfectly on the capabilities of golden kitsune nor the properties of their various body parts. Some claimed the eyes could grant immortality, foreseeing, or just the ability to see long distances. Others said the fur would make you unbearably beautiful or just moderately more attractive. The list went on, as did the disparities. The only things people could seem to agree on were physical descriptions, a gold streak in the hair until 1000 years of age after which both fur and hair turned completely golden, and power level, which apparently easily exceeded S class.

That little bit of information only served to make him more curious. With strength like that, why did Mei hide herself in a human body? Why did she seek the protection of "stronger" demons like himself? If her true power level was on par with the old kings of Demon World, why didn't she make a name for herself in that way? Mei had been furtive, secretive, and very quiet ever since they'd first met, months ago. She wanted to fly under the radar, and she'd been doing an impressive job of it, but for what purpose? How was it possible that someone with her capabilities had no ambition?

More importantly, how could he use her to achieve his own? When he got her back, could he even control her, knowing what he did now? Just the thought was enough to bring a less-than-friendly smile to his face as he approached the door of her old apartment. There was a man standing outside, locking the door, something that made Hisashi raise an eyebrow. He cleared his throat, and the man jumped, spinning to face the demon.

"Wh-who're you?" he squeaked, looking up at Hisashi.

Hisashi was well aware his presence was intimidating to humans. Most of them couldn't look him in the eyes for more than a second or two at a time, and this man was no exception. He was several inches shorter than Hisashi, with a rapidly receding hairline, and coke bottle glasses that made him look insectish.

"A friend of the renter of this apartment," Hisashi said. "And who, may I ask, are you?"

"Th-the landlord," the man replied, his voice even smaller than before. "I-I was checking up on Miss Mei because I haven't heard from her in a while. H-her rent was due yesterday."

Hisashi nodded, reaching in his back pocket for his wallet. "And how much is her rent?" The amount the man said almost made him laugh. "Here." He passed the man a single bill, saying, "That should more than cover it. Now, if you'll excuse me." Brushing past the landlord, he put his hand on the door to Mei's apartment. It unlocked at his touch, and he stepped inside, closing it behind him.

The place looked exactly as it had when he'd last been there two weeks ago: unlived in. No dirty dishes in the sink, no clothing or papers lying anywhere. The futon was perfectly made, and there were no personal items sitting out, save for a single book that lay on the pillow. Sighing, he went over to sit beside the futon, picking up the book. _A Comprehensive Study of Japanese Mythology_ by Himeji Tachibana . Frowning, he began to thumb through it, wondering why Mei owned something like this. It was full of misinformation, and if she was really an eight-tailed fox, then she likely knew that and more.

He flipped to the back cover, intending to read about the author, but the Himeji Tachibana's picture stopped him before he'd read a single word. "Oh," he whispered, a grin sliding across his face. "This is too good." And then he started laughing.

…

The week passed by far too slowly, since I was ignoring Yusuke. He never tried to talk to me, left food outside my door, and was gone as soon as Kurama came home. The weekend managed to zip by, with Kurama spending most of the time working from home, permitting me to ask him questions now and then, but otherwise, we were mostly separate entities. I watched TV or read his book, and he worked, cooked, and occasionally read as well. Yusuke came over, and I avoided him, hiding in my room, something that bothered me more than I cared to admit. However, Kurama once again said nothing about it, which made me wonder where his silence came from. There was no way he was okay with my behavior, and yet he allowed it. I'd been so used to my moves being dictated by others or by the need to survive that I didn't know how to decipher his strangeness.

That might be the best way to describe Kurama: strange.

His strangeness is part of why I'm worried I'm going to regret this. Once again, the problem with getting close to people is that you start to care about what they think. I find myself wondering just what Kurama thinks of me far more often than I want to. His eyes draw me in, and I have the hardest time looking away once he's captured me, but not because I'm afraid. It's because I don't want to. When our eyes meet, he always smiles, and I feel warm, almost...safe. I hate it.

That's what I tell myself as Kurama leaves his apartment for work on Monday morning. I count to 100, knowing I'll only have another two or three minutes before Yusuke or Kuwabara or whoever is to babysit me today comes by. This is my chance.

Donning a different form, this one a Japanese businesswoman I'd seen once, with straight, chin-length black hair and dark dark eyes, wearing a white blouse and black slacks, I dash out the front door, vaulting the steps leading up to the building, and landing hard on the concrete below. After giving my body a few seconds to recover from the jarring fall, I try to walk at a normal pace, down the sidewalk. When I pass by Yusuke, my heart is in my throat, but all he does is stare at my butt after I've walked past, which is both gross and relieving. _These stupid boys_. They make it so hard to remember that I'm not supposed to feel anything. _Safer that way, right?_

I stop walking after a few minutes, only just realizing...I'm outside. For the first time in two weeks, I'm really outside. The air against my face is natural and not just A/C. The blue sky is above my head, not out a window. It feels so good, and part of me wants to just run away. I could leave and never come back. Not to this country, not to this city, not to Kurama's apartment. It would be so easy to be alone again.

Yet, even as I begin to walk once more, I know that once I've gotten what I want, I'm going to return, right back to where I'm expected to be. Why? Because, I need to know….

As my old apartment comes into view, I slide into my landlord, Mr. Toshiba's skin. No one would question him coming to check on a missing tenant, would they? When I pull out my keys and open the door, the musty, familiar smell of a building far too old to still be in use hits me, and I have to suppress a sigh. No time to get wistful. If I'd pulled off that heist from Spirit World, I would have been living with Boss right now. I think I'm getting the better deal as is. His dark eyes flash in my mind, and I shudder, closing the door behind me.

 _In and out_. It should only take a second. Walking over to my futon, it isn't until I'm standing beside it that I notice my book...is missing.

"Mr. Landlord."

The sound of Boss' voice makes me start, and I turn to look at him, swallowing hard. The problem with being in a human skin is that my spiritual awareness is only as sharp as that human's. Mr. Toshiba has no spiritual awareness, and while I could have supplemented that with my demon energy, that would have been the equivalent of putting a homing beacon on myself, asking for demons to come and find me. Apparently, all I needed to do for that to happen was be stupid enough to return to my old home.

"Perhaps I was unclear with my intentions last week," he says, taking a step toward me. I take a step back, but there's nowhere to go. If I move again, I'll be standing on my futon. "You see, usually when I pay someone off, they get the picture."

 _Paid off? For what?_ "Ah, s-sorry," I reply, not meeting his eyes. What would Mr. Toshiba do right now? I know what I want to do. Run. My heart starts beating faster, but I try to remain calm. "I was just leaving."

"Were you perhaps looking for something?" He takes another step closer, a dangerous smile on his face.

"I left something here last week," I lie, trying to think fast.

"Ah. It wouldn't happen to be this, would it?" When he holds up my book, it takes everything in me not to bolt for the door. He's bluffing. He has to be. How else would he know it was me?

"No, no, that's not it," I reply, shaking my head. "I dropped a key to my shed. Just give me a second to find it, and I'll be out of your way."

"Pardon me," he replies, smiling. "I must have been mistaken. Permit me to help you in your search." And he takes another step forward.

"No need." I bend down quickly, reaching under the futon for the extra key I keep down there. "Found it. Sorry for bothering you."

I give him a weak smile, heading for the door, but before I can take more than two steps, he's at my side, his hand on my arm. "Really, it's not a bother. Why don't you stay. I can make us some tea?"

"I'm fine, but thank you." I try to wrench my arm from his grip, to no avail.

"Mei. Eyes."

Force of habit. That's the only excuse I can give for why I do as he says, Mr. Toshiba's old eyes meeting Boss' dark ones. The smile that slides across his face makes me want to scream for help. Instead, I freeze, and he releases my arm.

"Good to see you again, Mei. It's been too long." And then, just like that, his hand encircles my throat, and he rams me into the wall, knocking the breath out of me. "How've you been, hm?"

"Fine," I reply, my voice choked as he presses on my jugular.

"Excellent," he says, smiling. "I see you haven't forgotten how to speak when spoken to either. Perfect."

"Let me go," I whisper unable to speak any louder.

"Why would I do that?" he asks, his grip on my throat loosening just a little as he drops my book on the ground, his now free hand coming up to tap the side of my face. "Foxes don't do well in captivity, but I'm sure I can manage."

I refuse to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. This means Kenta told him I'm a fox. That also means it's likely he knows I'm going to turn golden. What he couldn't possibly know is just how soon that will be, in two weeks' time. My brain begins to run statistics, trying to think of the best way out of this situation. I could wait it out. I could fight him. I could….

He pinches my cheek, leaning in close. "I want to see it. Your fox form. Show me."

I turn my face away, grimacing, but I don't say a word.

"Come now, Mei. Don't be so troublesome. I'm not asking for much." When I don't respond, his grip on my neck tightens, and I can't breathe. "Show me."

"Why don't you do us both a favor and drop the old man." Boss jumps, turning to see the speaker. I don't have to look to know exactly who's climbing in the window. _Hiei_.

"Unwanted demons should mind their own business," Boss snaps, narrowing his eyes at the newcomer.

"I could say the same to you," Hiei replies. To me, he says, "I don't know why you let this man push you around. You've enough power to wipe him from this plane of existence if you so choose."

"It's not that easy," I gasp, my hands trying to pry Boss' grip from around my neck.

"Oh, good, you two know each other." Boss sighs, extending a hand toward Hiei. "Say goodbye." A ball of black energy flies from his hand, launching itself at Hiei who manages to neatly dodge. Where the ball connects with the wall, that part of the building disappears, leaving a hole in its wake. "Pesky."

"I think you'll find I'm not an easy target," Hiei replies, unsheathing his sword.

"Nor am I." Boss launches another ball of energy that Hiei deflects. However, the sound of energy hitting steel echoes in the small space, making me wince in pain. My ears are ringing, and I struggle against him again, to no avail. Mr. Toshiba has no upper body strength at all. I bite my lip, sliding into Hiei's skin. The angry demon is much shorter, and Boss loses his grip on me, only to grab my hair.

"I was right after all," he says, yanking me closer. "All I had was Kenta's word to go on, but there are precious few true shape-shifting demons. You've even copied his energy signature perfectly. This is too good."

"Stop ignoring me," Hiei growls, taking a step forward as the door to the apartment opens. Suddenly, the ground is covered in vines, and Kurama steps inside, his eyes narrowed at the sight before him.

"Hiei," he says, nodding at his friend with his sword drawn. "Mei." He nods at me, and I take a deep breath, unable to meet those cold, cold eyes. "I would appreciate it, as would the owner of this building, if you three would stop this."

His words are met with silence, and I wonder what Boss is thinking. I know I can barely breathe for worry he might just port us both out of here before either of them can react. It isn't until I realize, using Hiei's body, that I can practically feel Kurama's demon energy around us, pulsing through the plants at our feet. They're interrupting all of the energy in this room except for Kurama's, making it impossible for Boss to pull his usual disappearing trick.

After a few seconds, he releases my hair, bending down to pick up my book. "All right. I know when I'm beaten. Mei, your new jailers are something extraordinary. Don't worry, though. I'll find my way back to you." He presses my book into my hands, smiling. "Now that I know your little secret, I think I understand you much better." I stiffen at his words, our eyes meeting for the second time today.

"Huh," he says, walking past me and toward the door. "I've been wracking my brain for months, trying to figure out how to frighten you. I could have saved myself a lot of time." He looks over to Kurama, who has just stepped out of the doorway so Boss can pass. "You should keep her on a tighter leash."

"Foxes don't like to be cornered," Kurama replies, his voice soft. "They tend to show their teeth."

"This one must be defective, then." And with that, he leaves.

Kurama sighs, pressing the heel of one palm to his forehead. "Two Hiei's?" He looks between the two of us, shaking his head.

Before Hiei can supply a saucy quip, I shed his skin, opting for my own. My real form. Tails and all. I can't stop shaking, and my knees give out beneath me, dumping me in a heap on the floor.

"Mei!" Kurama's at my side in an instant, and I can barely register his hands on my shoulders, trying to prop me up. "Come on. Let's get you back to my apartment."

"Tch." I hear Hiei's voice, but I can't see. At least, I can't see this time. Instead, sometime far distant flashes in my mind. A voice, stern and unfamiliar. Tails. Nine of them, all golden, but they aren't mine. In front of this golden kitsune stands me, still a red fox, and at my side...a white fox demon. A shooting pain zips behind my eyelids, and I gasp, crying out.

"Mei! Mei, look at me!" Tears fill my vision as Kurama forces me to meet his gaze. "Mei, can you hear me?" I nod, and he sighs, relieved. "All right. Come on. The sooner we get out of here, the better." He helps me to my feet, saying, "Thank you, Hiei." There's no response, but I hear the window slide closed.

…

I can tell Kurama's unhappy, but I can't focus on anything other than the fact that I can't stop shaking. All I can think about are colors. Gold. Red. White. Kurama and I managed to make it back to his apartment, and part of me never wants to leave it again. _Safer. What's safer? I don't even know anymore._

"You're all right?" Kurama asks, turning to face me. His living room is decently sized, but it feels like there isn't enough space between us right now. _I'm so scared, lost, confused._ Gold. Red. White.

"Yes," I reply, my voice sounding strange to my own ears. _I'm sorry._ Wait, me? Yes...me. I'm so sorry, but I can't get the words out.

"What…" he asks, his voice soft but tight with suppressed emotion, "was so important that you snuck out of the house and went back to a place you _knew_ would be the first they'd be watching for you?"

I grip the book tightly between my hands, staring down at the ground. "It doesn't matter."

I swear, something snaps, but when I look up, all I can see is Kurama walking toward me, anger and frustration in his eyes. "It does matter! _You_ matter! Stop saying things like that, talking about yourself and your death like it doesn't affect you! Your life is precious, and yet you're so willing to throw it away!"

I stare into his eyes, unable to tear my gaze away, even as I feel something strange welling up inside me. I'm at a loss for words. It's been a very long time since I've wanted to speak this badly but simply couldn't think of what to say. It's like all words are foreign to me now.

He sighs, turning away from me, but before he can take more than a step, I grab his hand, making him start. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I swallow hard, whispering, "I'm scared."

"Mei?"

I don't know what's wrong with me. Even as I take a step forward, pressing my face into his back, my book falling to the floor as my hands fist in his shirt, my head is screaming at me to stop, to keep my mouth shut and just let it go. Instead, I find the words I'd been trying to say, letting them pour out of me like water.

"I'm so scared. I don't want to matter. I can't...I can't matter. My whole life has been a ticking time bomb, moving toward my inevitable end, and that scares me. So, I pretend like it doesn't and like I don't care so that when my life is taken from me, it won't bother me. But...I don't want to die. I don't want to just give up, but there's nothing I can do."

There it is. It's all out, all my cards on the table in front of this strange man who makes my head hurt and my chest pinch in ways I can't begin to describe. When he steps away from me, only to turn and clasp my hands with his own, I feel equally calmed and agitated. It's not a feeling I mind, altogether, even as the tears continue.

"Megami." I flinch, trying to pull away, but he holds tightly. "Mei, I'm sorry. You've been through so much."

He has no idea. This man doesn't know anything that I've had to suffer, and yet, just the fact that he acknowledges it means the world to me. I grip his hands, trying to control all these feelings I haven't dared entertain in decades.

"I can't promise forever," he says, his voice low, "but I can promise that as long as you're here with me, I will fight to protect you. I don't want to see you suffer anymore, so please...allow yourself to matter. Even if only a little."

"You, protect me?" I ask, looking up into his eyes. The expression on his face is gentle but very serious. He's not the first person to offer to protect me, but…. "Why?"

He smiles, and my heart stutters. _So close. He's so close._ "Because I want to. Believe it or not, not everyone does things for the sake of getting something in return."

"Sure," I reply, my hands sliding out of his and dropping to my sides. I rake a hand through my hair, my brain awash with so many conflicting emotions. Anger and sadness, coupled with joy and hope. It would be too easy to just push them all away, but...if I'm going to try to do as he asks, accepting my own feelings is where I need to start.  
"I look forward to working with you," I tell him, finding myself smiling wryly.

He laughs, and it sets off a flock of butterflies in my stomach, making me feel warm all over. This is an emotion I don't know that I've ever seriously entertained before, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

"Likewise," he replies, reaching up and brushing his hand over one of my fox ears. My stomach absolutely somersaults, and I can feel my face burning red. I hadn't even thought about the fact that I'm still in fox form, and it makes all of my fear come racing back in.

Holding up my hand, I'm about to transform, but Kurama's fingers wrap around mine. "Don't," he says, his voice soft. "I like seeing you like this. The real you."

 _The real me._ Who even is that? I think I lost her a long time ago, but maybe...maybe if I stick around, I can find her again.

Taking a deep breath, I shed the ears and tail, but I keep my body the same. "Compromise?" I ask.

"Deal," he replies. "Although, I rather like the fox look." He smiles warmly, and I swallow hard. Feelings are difficult.

He stoops down, picking up the book I dropped and passing it back to me. "If that's really so important, you should be careful about dropping it."

"Mm." I press it close to my chest, nodding.

"I'm going to make us some food. Anything in particular you'd like?"

"Rice," I reply, the comfortable weight of this book in my hands calming me.

"That's a given," he says, chuckling. "All right. How about tonkatsu?" I nod, and he smiles. "Would you like to help me?" Another nod. All of my words were apparently used up in my outburst earlier because I can't seem to speak anymore. Oh, well. Kurama doesn't appear to mind, if his smiles are any indication.

The rest of the night is spent cooking and eating and reading. More specifically, him reading to me. I'd asked him if he would when he settled down with his own book, and while he'd looked surprised, he hadn't said no. I need every distraction I can get right now, so I don't have to deal with the decisions I've just made. _Tomorrow_. Tomorrow, I could think about it. We spend quite some time together on his couch, him reading and me listening until I can barely keep my eyes open.

"Bed time," he tells me. "We can continue another night."

I yawn, nodding my head drowsily, fingers tightening around my own book in my hands. I'm so used to holding it that I'd forgotten I was doing so. Now, however, I look down at it, making yet another decision.

"Have you...have you read this?" I ask, holding the book out to him. Boss knowing my secret is frightening, but if someone like him, who doesn't care about me and intends to use this information to hurt me knows, then surely...someone like Kurama, who only wants to help, should know as well.

He takes it, looking at the cover. "I can't say I have."

"Will you? And...when you're done, please, tell me. As soon as you've finished." I ball my hands into fists, staring down at my white knuckles, the skin stretched taught from how tightly clenched my hands are. _What are you doing_? Trying.

"Of course," he replies, nodding his head. "Get some sleep, Mei. Today was a long day. We'll have tomorrow to talk about what's happened."

"Mm." I get to my feet, forcing myself to look into his eyes as I say, "Good night, Kurama."

"Good night, Mei." His smile is warm, and it makes his eyes practically sparkle. With a light head and a confused heart, I turn, heading to my room.

Staring down at my bed, I sigh, transforming into my human form. Using my demon body will take some getting used to, and if I want to sleep tonight, this is my best bet.

Curling up under the covers, I close my eyes, falling asleep almost immediately, my head full of sweet green eyes.

* * *

A/N: I'm still here, I swear! So is this story. Been hit with an awful lot of stuff lately, so it's been hard to come back to this guy. I really hope you can't tell by reading. We're two weeks through Mei's month deadline, and things are changing. I don't even know where this is going, so anyone who's still reading, we're riding this together!

Thanks for reading, and a special thanks to **Sidako** and **YukinaBlueRose** for the reviews!


	9. Stray Cat

Hiei didn't like to lose. He'd spent countless years training his mind and body, honing himself into the fighting machine he was today, so the fact that there were still people out there who could beat him so easily was nothing short of infuriating. To add insult to injury, she was a fox demon, just like Kurama. Hiei was sorely tired of being outfoxed.

It was the only excuse he had for why he'd been keeping an eye on her. He'd seen her outburst at Yusuke and Keiko, had seen the swamp she'd conjured with her fox fire, had seen how she avoided everyone save for Kurama that next week. He had also seen her sneak out of Kurama's apartment shortly after he'd left for work for the day. Hiei didn't know all of the specifics of her stay with Kurama-he hadn't cared to listen when Kurama offered to explain-but he was rather certain she wasn't supposed to leave the apartment. So, he followed her.

She wasn't in a hurry, and after she passed a none-the-wiser Yusuke, still her steps knew no urgency. It was this that made him certain she wasn't running away. Whatever drew her from Kurama's home, it wasn't going to keep her away. She wasn't entirely breaking the deal she'd made with Koenma.

If Hiei hadn't watched her leave, he wouldn't have known it was her, so perfect was her imitation of this human. It was disconcerting. Hiei didn't deal with animal demons if he didn't have to, but he knew a fair bit about them to know this was unusual, her replicating power. He didn't know if it was because of her elemental alignment or her impending ascension to golden, as he'd never met a kitsune aligned with heaven or a future golden fox. Either way, it was a handy trick if managed well. Judging by how long she'd been able to survive, she was doing that just fine. It made him feel a little better about losing to know she wasn't a complete moron, like Yusuke. Hiei was still waiting for his rematch with that utter imbecile.

After he'd followed her for about an hour, he picked up a strong demon presence in the area that was making no point of disguising itself. Frowning, Hiei noticed the fox girl was making her way straight for it. Was she aware? It seemed unlikely, as the body she occupied put off no real amounts of spiritual energy. She was walking headfirst into a trap.

Hiei pulled the communicator out of his pocket that Koenma had forced every member of the team to use after the last rather embarrassing incident…. Flipping it open, he called Kurama. It took the other man a few seconds to answer, and when he did, he looked tired. Hiei hadn't even said anything to him yet, but already, the fox demon was prepared to be exasperated. Not that that bothered Hiei. He was used to Kurama's attitude.

"Your ward has escaped."

Kurama blinked in surprise before saying, "Mei?"

"I've been tailing her for an hour."

"And you're only just now calling me?" he hissed, keeping his voice down as he looked behind him. "Where is she?"

"In a seedy part of downtown." Hiei gave him the address, saying, "It appears as though she's either meeting someone or walking into a trap. I'm betting the latter."

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Hiei, look after her for me."

"Tch. You owe me."

"Of course."

Hiei closed the communicator, a wry smile sliding across his face. He'd already been planning on keeping his eye on Mei and getting involved if she couldn't handle herself, but only because he had a vested interest in her. Having Kurama owe him a favor definitely served to sweeten the deal.

When Mei changed into an old man and stepped into the building where the strong demon presence was waiting, Hiei sprang into action, leaving his perch on a neighboring building to climb onto the windowsill of what he assumed was an apartment. Pressing his ear to the wall, he listened to what was going on inside, narrowing his eyes. Neither of the voices he heard coming from within belonged to the girl, so she was still pretending to be that old man.

When the wall shook, he gritted his teeth, peeking in the window to find a man, maybe in his 30s, with short black hair holding Mei, disguised as that old man, by the throat. He couldn't see the look on the younger man's face, but he could feel his energy pressing around the entire building, heavy and dangerous. Judging by the fact that Mei was just letting this happen, Hiei figured he was definitely going to need to step in.

Sliding up the window, he crouched on the sill, saying, "Why don't you do us both a favor and drop the old man." He was rewarded with the man's surprise at his presence, however, he didn't loosen his grip on Mei's neck. For her part, she appeared to be struggling, but with her frail human hands, he wondered why she even bothered.

After exchanging quips with the other demon, Hiei turned his attention on Mei. "I don't know why you let this man push you around. You've enough power to wipe him from this plane of existence if you so choose."

"It's not that easy," she gasped in return, making him roll his eyes. What could have been easier than putting weaklings in their proper place? Especially for someone like Mei who could likely destroy this entire city in the blink of an eye.

The man threw a ball of energy at Hiei, who dodged it, forcing his expression to remain neutral. The last thing he needed was to show the surprise he felt at the terrifying lack of feeling that zipped past him. It wasn't that the shot was particularly strong or large, but rather it was the fact that he couldn't sense anything from it. When it collided with the wall, it didn't leave rubble in its wake. That part of the wall had simply...disappeared. Who was this demon, and what the hell kind of powers did he have if he could make things just...no longer exist?

He unsheathed his sword, thinking to repel the ball instead of dodging and hoping it wouldn't destroy his weapon. He was rather partial to it after all this time. However, using it might also help him discover just what kind of demon this man was. When the next ball of energy came Hiei's way, he caught it with his sword, reeling as it sapped his own energy. It was like it had just been absorbed and was gone. He gripped the sword tighter, staggering slightly. What the hell?

He watched Mei transform into him, and he grimaced, not liking that in the slightest. She looked and her energy felt just like his own. When she changed, the man lost his grip on her throat, but he reacted quickly, grabbing a fistful of her-his-gods, this was annoying-spikey hair. He spouted some nonsense about how perfect her duplication technique was, giving Hiei time to think. He'd picked up Kurama's energy, had been sensing it approaching for a few minutes now. All he needed to do was keep this man distracted so he didn't have time to prepare for what was sure to come next. Kurama would not be pleased with anything that was happening here, and Hiei knew better than to arrive on the receiving end of his old comrade's ire.

"Stop ignoring me." He took a step forward, but before anyone could react, the door opened, and Kurama stepped inside, vines preceding him, covering every inch of the floor. Hiei's energy pressed against his skin, and he knew what the purpose of these vines were: energy suppression. He would not be able to access his demonic powers at the moment.

"Hiei. Mei. I would appreciate it, as would the owner of this building, if you three would stop this."

How did he manage to sound so cool and calm all the time? Hiei hated it, and at the same time, he wished he was half as good at hiding his anger. It would make negotiating easier on the rare occasions Hiei had the stomach for it.

The man holding Mei let go of her hair, bending down to pick up something off the floor. He handed it to her, whispering something in her ear that the short demon didn't catch. Hiei shot a glance at Kurama who shook his head. _We're just going to let this man go?_ Hiei pressed into Kurama's mind with his Jagan Eye.

 _Yes. Mei is our priority._

 _Yours, perhaps._

Kurama didn't respond, instead meeting the stranger's eyes as he walked past. The look that passed between the two of them made Hiei shudder, and he gripped his sword tighter, once again glad not to be the recipient of that look.

"You should keep her on a tighter leash," the man said, narrowing his eyes at Kurama.

"Foxes don't like to be cornered," Kurama replied, repeating by rote his old adage. "They tend to show their teeth."

"This one must be defective, then."

If looks could kill. Kurama's expression remained the same stoic mask he put on so well, but his eyes were cold. Those were eyes that would murder without hesitation, and the chill that tripped down his spine was equal parts unease and excitement. How he missed this Kurama sometimes.

The man left without another word, and Kurama sighed, looking over at the two of them. "Two Hiei's?" he asked, making Hiei narrow his eyes. Before he could do anything more, Mei transformed again. Or rather, it seemed exhaustion had forced her out of her borrowed skin and into her real one. She was shaking like a leaf, her face pale, and Hiei growled in disgust. This girl was really a legendary being? How pathetic to be shaken by something as small as this.

Kurama was by her side in an instant, his hands on her shoulders, holding her upright. Suddenly, her skin started to glow, her frightened expression growing blank, her eyes distant. Kurama grimaced as energy started to flow out of her like water, covering every available surface in golden light.

"What's happening?" Hiei hissed, climbing onto the windowsill, but the energy found him there, surrounding him. He'd expected to feel repulsed by it, but instead, he felt comforted, warm, and invigorated, like he'd just awoken from the most restful sleep. He shot a glance at Kurama who was no longer wincing but instead looked concerned.

"I'm not sure," he said, his words falling between them, almost tangible in the air, like the golden energy was giving weight to them. "However, it isn't good. Any demon in a hundred mile radius is going to be able to find us if we can't get out of here." He turned to Mei, shaking her. "Mei! Mei, we need to leave. Look at me, Mei!"

She didn't respond, and Kurama dug a hand in his hair, sighing. "Come on, Mei. I need you to wake up. Mei! Mei, look at me!" He forced her gaze up to his, and suddenly, the energy stopped flowing as quickly as it started, leaving Hiei feeling bereft. Was this one of the miraculous powers of a golden kitsune? Hiei was beginning to understand why someone would want their hands on her.

"Thank you, Hiei," Kurama said as he helped her to her feet.

"Tch." He stepped out of the window, closing it behind him before disappearing into the afternoon.

…

When Kurama had gotten the call from Hiei, he hadn't known what he was expecting. Mei having left his home wasn't even on the list. He'd only been at work maybe an hour, and he'd had to apologize profusely to his father as he dashed out into the day. Once he'd arrived, he'd had to deal with the visual shock of two Hiei's, which was disturbing in its own way, that awful man who looked at Mei like she was a piece of meat, and whatever had come over Mei afterward. That energy pouring out of her had felt warm and secure, like a mother's hug, and it only further solidified in his mind how dangerous being a golden fox really was.

Getting her out of there had been his top priority. Scolding and questioning could wait. Once they'd arrived at his apartment, much to his surprise, Mei had broken down, opened up to him in ways he couldn't have imagine, and promised...well, that she would try. Tomorrow, they would work out the details, but until then, Kurama had wanted to focus on comforting her as much as he could. Whoever that man had been earlier, he'd said something to Mei that had terrified her, and she needed reassurance.

What he had not been expecting was her asking him to read that book. Once she'd left for bed, he did as she asked, combing it for some kind of hidden meaning to little avail. It was a book on mythology, and not even a factual one, although he acknowledged there weren't many scholars that really got demons and youkai perfectly. It wasn't until he looked at the flap on the back cover, several hours later, that he stopped, eyes wide. Staring up at him from the author's page was...Mei.

Or rather, it was Himeji Tachibana, a woman in her mids 20s who had died about 30 years ago, according to the author bio. For some reason...Mei had been using this woman's form all this time. Whatever that reason was, it was important enough for her to ask him to read this, important enough that she'd risked her life to get this book back from her apartment. Mei was no fool. She wouldn't have put her life on the line, as important as it was to her to reach her 1000th year, unless it was of the utmost necessity that she have this book in her hands. She'd clutched it the entire night, almost without realizing as well.

What did it mean? There was only one way to find out.

...

"Mei? Hey, Mei?"

I rub the sleep from my eyes, looking up to make out a Kurama-like shape sitting on the bed beside me. "Kurama?" I mumble, yawning.

"Hello, Mei. I finished your book."

Oh. That's right. I did ask him to do that. He passes it over to me, and I wrap my arms around it, pulling it tightly to my chest. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." A few seconds pass before he says, "Who is Himeji Tachibana?"

"She was a friend of mine," I mumble, pressing my face into the book. "I met her thirty years ago when I was living in Tokyo. I…." Taking a deep breath, I swallow hard before I continue. This is a story I've never told anyone, and while I'm not looking forward to this, it's a decision I made that I've got to deal with. It's going to be okay.

"I had been living as a cat," I tell him, "for months. I'd had a bad run-in with some demons a few weeks prior, and so it just felt safer to live off of scraps in a big city. There was this one woman who always had something to feed me whenever I walked past her little house. She was an aspiring writer, but she seemed to scrap more ideas than not. Sometimes, she would bounce ideas off of me. They were never very good. Always kind of half-baked. One day, she told me she wanted to write a book about Japanese myths. She was really passionate about it, but she didn't know the first real thing about us.

"So, I used to visit her in her sleep. I would suppress my energy and sit beside her, telling her stories and impressing them into her head. At that point, I think I was just desperate for a friend. That was a mistake I told myself I would never make again." I look up at him, grimacing. He shakes his head, encouraging me to continue.

"One night, she woke up and saw me. I wish I could have been a little quicker on my feet, but I panicked, and so did she. She tried to hit me, and I used my energy to put up a barrier. The cat was out of the bag. So, we talked. A lot. I told her what I was and about how I'd spent so long as the cat she used to feed. She let me stay with her, and I helped her write her book. We decided it couldn't all be accurate information. That would make her a target to Spirit World. Little did I think that spending time with me would do that on its own.

"We'd spent a few months together, and I shadowed her when I could. Kept tabs and made sure nothing unsavory was following her around. One day...I didn't. I'd gone to Demon World to mourn some friends of mine who'd died many years previous, thinking she'd be okay for a day. I was wrong. By the time I got back to her house...she'd been shredded to bits by the 10 demons I found there. It was...horrible. So, I obliterated them." I grasp the book tightly, my voice brittle, cold. "But nothing can bring her back.

"After that, I went into hiding once more, deciding I wouldn't get tangled up with anyone that way ever again. Which didn't work out. For some reason, people pick me up like a stray cat more often than I care to admit." I sigh, thinking of Shiori, hoping she's doing all right. "I blame myself for what happened to Himeji. I know it wasn't entirely my fault. She made the choice to befriend me, those demons made the choice to attack. It would be incredibly conceited of me to assume that I was the sole cause for all of that. That doesn't make it hurt any less."

Kurama lets out a breathy sigh, and I jump, startled. Some part of me had been so distracted with the telling that I'd almost forgotten he was here, that his being here was the whole reason I was even recounting this nightmare. "Do you know," he says, shaking his head, "you already know everything I might have told you to make you feel better."

"O-oh," I say, wringing my hands. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he replies, giving me a sad smile. "It means you're much further along in your grieving process than I'd thought. I am very sorry that happened to you, but I think you still need to let go of one last thing." I look up at him, uncertain as to what he's going to say. "I think she would be flattered that you'd chosen her guise, but I also think she'd prefer you be yourself instead. Her interest in Japanese mythos was her own, but certainly you spurred it on because of who and what you are."

I squeeze my book tightly, looking away, down at the covers of my bed. This, I think, I've always been afraid of: the day when I would really have to say goodbye. He's right. Himeji would want me to be myself. She used to tell me she always preferred my orange hair and purple eyes to any disguise I could manage. "I'm afraid," I whisper, shaking my head. "I've been so many different people for so long. Every time I choose to be myself, something bad happens."

"That's tough," he replies, turning to face me where he sits. He gently reaches for my hands, slowly but surely relieving my book of the vice grip I have on it. "But you've got people in your life now who are refusing to become that 'something bad'. Do you think maybe you can put a little bit of faith in us?"

It's dark, nothing but a sliver of light coming in where the curtains don't close all the way, but even so, I can see the sincerity in his face, hear the kindness in his voice. Maybe...maybe it'll be okay this time. What are the odds these friendships will turn out like every other friendship I've ever had and end in disaster? Will it matter if I can't survive past turning golden anyway? What do I have to lose?

 _My heart, again._

But if it does work out...if these guys can protect themselves and each other, then maybe...just maybe...I can be really and truly happy for the first time in a long time. _Thank you, Himeji. For everything._ It seems like a paltry farewell, but it'll have to do. I've been holding onto her for a little too long. Taking a deep breath, I slide my hands from Kurama's, summoning a leaf to fall between them, landing gently in my palms. There's a dull glow of light, and then I am myself, minus the ears and tail.

"I can try," I say, looking from my palms to his smiling face. My senses are sharper now in my demonic body, and I can make him out much more clearly in the dark, which only serves to make my chest feel warm.

"That's all anyone could ever ask of you," he replies, softly. He reaches for my book, and I let him take it, watching as he flips through the pages slowly. "Mei, who was that man from earlier?"

I ball my hands into fists, feeling my energy kick up a bit around me at the memory of Boss' hand around my neck. "Boss...his name is Hisashi. He's the demon I used to work for, the one who had me stealing from Demon World."

"He knows what you are."

"I think Kenta must have told him," I say, frowning.

"Kenta is the demon I met before I brought you here?"

"Mm-hm. He probably only told B...Hisashi to save his own skin, but that's the only way he could have found out."

"What kind of demon is he?"

"A portal demon," I reply, reaching for my book. Kurama passes it back to me, and I grip it tightly, feeling a little calmer. "He can move things from place to place. He doesn't like people knowing what it is he does, exactly, because he'd prefer they think he just makes matter disappear."

"How is it that you can tell?" he asks.

"I can see life energy," I reply, gesturing vaguely in the air, moving around dust motes, even though I know he can't see what I can. "When things die, their energy goes out, right? I can feel and see that. So, as a threat once, he made a cat 'disappear', but its energy never went out. After that, I just watched him closely and realized he was just moving things. But I think he can do it over vast distances, so it's still incredibly impressive."

"And concerning," Kurama says, shaking his head. "However, it's good to know what we're up against. I didn't really think you were withholding information previously out of any sense of loyalty."

"Not hardly," I say. "He's not the sort of man who inspires loyalty. Just fear."

"I know the type." He sighs, and I grip my book again.

"I guess I'm in trouble, huh? With King Koenma, I mean."

"What makes you say that?"

I stare at him, frowning. "Because I snuck out?"

"You didn't do a very good job of it, considering Hiei tailed you." He's expecting a reaction, but I just continue staring, waiting for him to pass on my verdict. "Anyway, what Koenma doesn't know won't hurt him."

"What?" Did he just say what I think he did?

He shrugs, smiling wryly. There's something about the mischievous glint in his eyes that makes my heart beat a little faster, and I swallow hard, trying not to make it obvious I'm having a hard time looking at him.

"No one got hurt, and we now know more about the person we're up against. To top it off, this incident convinced you to try, which is a success as far as I'm concerned."

"You're serious?"

"Of course," he replies. "Koenma can be a bit reactionary. I wouldn't want to think about what might happen if we weren't discreet about this. No one will tell him. Don't worry about it."

I sigh in relief, nodding my head. "I'm glad."

"I'm going to talk to him tomorrow about permitting you to leave this apartment while I'm gone for the day." I'm staring again, and he looks away this time, a dark expression crossing his face. "Foxes aren't meant to be in cages."

I throw my arms around him. Which I wasn't aware I was going to do. Pulling away quickly, my skin burning I'm blushing so hard, I say, "S-sorry. I just...got excited."

"That's all right," he replies, looking thoroughly nonplussed and a little flushed himself. "I'm only sorry I couldn't think of a way to do this sooner."

"You had no reason to trust me any sooner," I reply, sliding my fingers through my hair, dragging the long strands over my shoulder and fiddling with the ends. "I'm still not sure you do, but I appreciate it."

"If you're going to put your faith in us," Kurama says, "then I think it would behoove us to do the same for you. Besides, I don't think you're too keen to repeat today's experience."

"Not exactly." I smile brightly, saying, "Thank you, Kurama. For everything."

He doesn't respond right away, and my smile falls, but after a second, he sighs, running a hand over his face. "You're welcome, Mei. I can assure you, it hasn't exactly been all struggle for me. I've grown to enjoy your company."

I chuckle, shaking my head. "You don't have to lie to me, you know. I've been incredibly unpleasant."

"You've been difficult and different," he says, nodding. "However, I'm so very used to that that if you'd been pleasant from the start, I wouldn't have known what to do with myself." He's teasing, which I find relieving. This might be the easiest bit of conversation we've ever had. I hope there's more like this to come.

"Does that mean I should go back to being prickly?" I ask, smiling wryly.

"Please don't," he says. "We've got enough prickly around here with Hiei. Besides…." He takes one of my hands in his, his smile unbearably soft. "I'm looking forward to getting to know this new side of you."

I wish I could eat the butterflies in my stomach. Part of me wants to pull away, to substitute, to find some way to disappear. A much bigger part of me wins out, and I squeeze his hand between both of mine, ducking my head shyly. "I'm glad."

We sit like that for a few minutes, nothing between us but silence, our hands, and the life energy that flits between us like fireflies. It's calming, and once my heart stops beating fast, I begin to feel at ease. So much so that I don't realize I'm nodding off until Kurama chuckles, his laugh breathy in the darkness.

"You should sleep. You've had a long day."

"Probably." I take my hands from his, rubbing my eyes. "Thanks for coming to talk to me."

"You're welcome," he says, getting up from my bed. To my surprise, he pats my head gently, and I blink up at him. "Sleep well."

"You too." Once he closes the door behind him, I touch my head where his hand had been, wondering what that was about. Shrugging it off, I lay back down, letting the waves of life energy all around lull me to sleep.

…

I wake early to the smell of eggs cooking. Blearily, I tumble out of bed, hitting my head on the way down. "Ow," I grunt, rubbing my head. It's morning, so why do I still feel so tired? Various colors swirl around me, and I realize I've been spawning kistunebi in my sleep again. Sighing, I pull them back in, getting to my feet and slowly making my way toward the kitchen. I'm painfully aware of my demon form right now, especially after all that talk from last night….

"Good morning, Mei." Kurama greets me without turning from where he stands at the stove, and I jump, almost kicking the floor.

"G-good morning," I reply, tucking a long strand of hair behind one ear. "Are you…making breakfast?" I change that question halfway through, answering the first one for myself. He hasn't slept. For some reason, he'd been up all night, and I can't help but think I'm that reason. I sure do cause a lot of trouble for people.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I did, thank you." I yawn, walking toward him. "Did you need any help?"

"It's almost done," he replies, "but thank you for the offer." He smiles, and I duck my head, making my way over to the table to wait. It feels like something has changed in the air between us, and I don't know what it is. If it had just been me, I don't think I would have been feeling it quite as strongly, but he's different too. I can't put my finger on it, which irks me,

"Mei?" I jump as Kurama sets a bowl in front of me.

"Y-yes?"

"You seem a bit uneasy this morning. Are you all right?"

"Ah, yeah. Just...getting readjusted to myself." I shrug it off, waiting for him to sit before I start to eat.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do to help," he replies.

"Will do." Now that I can get a good look at him, he looks tired, and I feel bad for it. The life energy around him is swirling slowly, like it too wants a bit of sleep. "Hey, Kurama?"

"Hm?"

"Hold this?" I raise a hand, summoning a little bit of fox fire and letting it float slowly toward him. He raises an eyebrow but reaches for it anyway, cupping it in his palms. The effect is almost instant, golden light gently bathing his hands, tendrils licking his wrists. After a few seconds, the fire dissipates, but I can tell it helps. He looks refreshed and wide awake.

"You should take care of yourself," I tell him. "I'm sure whatever you were doing that wrested you from your bed all of last night was important, but so is sleep."

He gives me a smile, saying, "Thank you for that and for your concern, Mei. I promise I'll get some proper rest tonight."

"Good." We finish eating in relative silence, and Kurama takes my bowl to the sink, saying, "Yusuke will be here shortly."

I'd been pushing in my chair at that, but his words stop me short. "O-oh?"

"Something wrong?"

Gripping the back hard, I say, "I owe him an awful lot of apologies." My voice sounds weak to my own ears, but I swallow down what I can of my is going to be a miserable experience.

"If you'd like, I can stay here while you say them," Kurama says. "Although, I can assure you, Yusuke won't be nearly as upset as you seem to think."

"Please?" I ask, looking up at him from where he's drying our dishes. "I...haven't done this in a long time."

"Of course," he replies, smiling warmly.

Wringing my hands, I start thinking of all the things I could say, all the things I need to say, all the things that could go wrong. It must show on my face, because Kurama claps his hands right in front of me, making me jump.

"Living World to Mei," he says, leaning in close. "Breathe. It's going to be okay."

"Oh. Right, right, right." I rake a hand through my hair, sighing. "I'm fine." There's a knock at the door, and I jump, hiding behind Kurama who sighs.

He gives me this strange smile, half-exasperated, half-amused, before saying, "It's just Yusuke. He doesn't think of anything more complicated than noodles, I assure you."

"Noodles?" Yusuke knocks louder this time, and I squeeze Kurama's arm.

"I'm here for you," he says, his voice soft and warm.

"Yeah." I release him from my tight grip, and he chuckles before making his way to the door.

"Hello, Yusuke," Kurama says. "How are you?"

"Good, good. Mei hiding again?" He says this as he steps inside, his gaze falling on me. "Oh, hey, ain't that your demon body?" I nod, and he gives me a thumbs up. "Good for you, using that every once in a while."

"We're hoping for a more permanent change," Kurama says, looking encouragingly at me.

Swallowing hard, I make my way over to Yusuke, bowing as low as I can while still standing. "I'm so sorry."

"Whoa!" he says, his hands on my shoulders, pushing me upright. "Cool it with that." He looks embarrassed, and I must look as confused as I feel because he says, "What are you apologizing for?"

"For being so unkind to you, and getting into a fight with Keiko, and avoiding you, and sneaking out yesterday." I lower my head, biting my lip and wringing my hands tightly, waiting for him to be angry, scold me, anything.

"Oh, right. That. Well, consider yourself forgiven."

"What?" I snap my head up, staring at his big brown eyes, surprised by the laughter in them. His whole manner is suffused with humor, and I just.… "I don't understand."

"I'm not mad at you," he supplies. "Never was. Worried, sure. Mad, nah. I was thinking you must be pretty mad at me if you were staying away like that."

"No!" I cry, and he raises an eyebrow, making me wince a little. "No, not mad at you. Mad at myself. Ashamed. Regretful." I pull a lock of hair in front of my face, messing with it to avoid having to look at anyone.

"Well, no need," Yusuke says. "I'm just glad you're okay. Kurama told Kuwabara and me about yesterday. Lemme at this Hibachi guy. I'll kick his ass." _Hibachi_. I snort a laugh, covering my mouth with one hand, which only serves to make Yusuke grin. "Wow, if I'd known it was that easy to make you laugh, I would've spent more time trying."

I clasp my hands together, saying, "If I'd known you wanted to try that much, I might not have resisted as hard as I did." Glancing over at Kurama, I'm relieved to find he's got a soft smile on his face. "I'm sorry I've been so difficult. I promise...I'll try to relax and be myself."

Yusuke puts his hands on his hips, saying, "Good. That's all we can ask for."

Kurama had said something along the same lines earlier, and I wonder...these two can't _both_ be wrong about this, can they?

"Hey, wait a sec," Yusuke says, snapping his fingers. "Does this mean I can ask you things and actually get an answer?"

"Within reason," I reply, nodding my head.

"Hmm." He frowns, steepling his fingers. "Where were you born?"

"Aokigahara Forest."

He frowns. "Wait, isn't that in Living World."

I nod, saying, "Kitsune are essentially created, not born. A long-lived fox can become one."

"Huh. That's a lot less interesting than I was expecting."

"If it makes you feel any better, that forest is crawling with ghosts."

"It's not a pleasant place," Kurama says, sighing. "And as much as I'd love to learn more about you, Mei, I've got to get to work. I'll see you when I get home."

"Oh, yes, thank you again." I smile, waving to him, and he returns the gesture, heading out the door.

"Get outta here already," Yusuke says before turning back to me. "All right, born in Living World. Do you have any siblings?"

"All dead," I reply. "None of them survived long enough to gain supernatural abilities. It's not all that common in the first place."

"Huh. The more you know." A contemplative look I didn't know he was capable of slides across his face, before he says, "So, were you born with that gold streak?" He gestures to the bit of gold in my hair.

"No. It appeared once my tail split the first time."

"Does that hurt?"

"What?"

"Your tail splitting."

"No, but it's really weird suddenly being able to change into a person."

"You couldn't do that before?"

I shake my head. "I was just a normal fox who lived a really long time before I reached 100."

"Wow, that's weird to think about." Yusuke scratches his head, saying, "And you're going to change again soon."

"Two weeks."

"You nervous?"

"I try not to think about it," I tell him, shrugging. "And fail miserably. It's just been a goal for so long, and it's odd that it's actually approaching like this."

"I'm looking forward to seeing it," Yusuke replies, grinning. "This kinda thing only happens once in like, a billion years, right?"

I smile, saying, "Basically. You'll be dead before it happens again."

"That's a great thought," he adds, shaking his head. "Oh, hey, what time is it?" He eyes the clock on the stove. "Shit, we're gonna miss my show."

"Which one? The one where the girl is utterly useless, or the one where she saves the day?"

"Both," he says, waving a hand absently at me as he goes to sit on the couch, turning on the TV. Shaking my head, I settle in my spot on the floor, and we watch anime for a while, the mind-numbing nature of the shounen battles keeping me from thinking too hard about anything. It's amicable and open, Yusuke and I making snarky comments freely, unlike it used to be where I would hold my tongue unless provoked or distracted. I like it.

At some point, I become aware of a familiar presence making its way toward us, life energy whipping around angrily. Hiei. Yet another person I'm not entirely looking forward to having to apologize to. If that's even what I should do. He doesn't seem like the type who would want it. I'm going to have to learn the language of each of these young men, aren't I?

Running a hand over my face, I get to my feet, stretching.

"What's up?" Yusuke asks.

"Your friend is here."

"Hm?" Yusuke gets to his feet as well as Hiei pushes open the window. Kurama must leave it unlocked for him. All of the windows for that matter, as I think about our first encounter. "Oh, him. Hey, Hiei."

Hiei ignores Yusuke, instead staring me down with a dark look on his face. Before I can even decide how to interact, he leads with, "What the hell was wrong with you yesterday?"

"How do you mean?"

"You had no problem toying with me," he growls. "You gave me a miserable excuse for a fight, but at least you didn't let me hurt you. Why couldn't you do that with him?"

I shake my head, saying, "If I had transformed, my power would have been like a beacon, drawing demons to the area. They can't help it. I'm predisposed to give off energy that lower levels demons can't resist. Not that it mattered." I rub one arm with my hand, sighing. I'd ended up changing anyway out of stress and fear. I just hope nothing bad happens because of that.

"You could easily handle any threat that came your way," Hiei snaps back. "Why bother holding back?"

"I'm not trying to cause chaos, Hiei. If I murdered every threat that crossed my path, I'd have an even bigger bounty on my head than I already do. I can't protect myself every second of every day. So, instead, I lay low and play weak."

"Disgraceful."

"Say what you will," I reply, frowning. "I don't ever expect anyone to understand." Silence falls, and after a few moments, I say, "But I am sorry for our fight. You're right, it was miserable. If possible, can I make it up to you? Would you want to spar again, for real this time?"

Hiei narrows his eyes, crossing his arms. "No tricks?"

"If that would make you happy," I reply. "My specialty, as a fox demon, is illusion, but if you'd prefer, we can just fight with our fists."

"Fine," Hiei says.

"All right, you two," Yusuke says, stepping between us. "I'm in charge here, so if you want to do this, you've got to meet my conditions."

"Which are?" Hiei asks.

"One: we eat first. Two: you," and he points to Hiei, "have to tell Kurama and ask Koenma. Sound good?"

"Tch." Hiei turns away, stalking over to the phone on the kitchen counter and mashing some buttons. "Kurama. We're taking Mei to Spirit World so she can fight me again. No. Yes. She's the one who asked me. No. Fine." He hung up before reaching in his pocket and pulling out a communicator. "Toddler King. We're coming to you."

"Good to hear from you too, Hiei. Why?" Koenma asks from the other side.

"Mei owes me a rematch."

"Did she consent to this?"

"Why does everyone seem to think I've bullied her into this?! She's perfectly capable of making decisions for herself."

Which I think is the nicest thing he's ever and will ever say about me.

"Fine, fine," Koenma says. "I'll send Botan to pick you up."

Hiei closes the communicator without a word as Yusuke heads into the kitchen to whip up some lunch. Botan arrives as we're finishing, and within a few minutes, we're in Spirit World, ready for a rematch I will likely lose.

* * *

A/N: Whoa, another chapter! Sometimes, these chapters surprise me, and this one certainly got weird. Special thanks to WistfulSin and o-dragon for giving me an appreciation for Hiei that I didn't have until I started reading their works. They think it's funny that I try to channel them when I write him. It's also super relieving to get to write a character who isn't running away from the idea of feelings for Kurama like a certain other character I've been writing for ages-side-eye at Asaki here. I think, as far as actually plot I've got in mind, we're about halfway through, which is crazy! I knew I wanted this to be shorter than A Hand to Hold, but I don't know if I imagined it quite this short.

Thanks for reading, and a special thanks to **Sidako** and **YukinaBlueRose** for the reviews! You guys rock!


	10. A Sense of Exhaustion

Mei had given Kurama more to think about than he could have imagined. Not only was he worried about her as far as Hisashi was concerned, he also had to worry about keeping her adventure today a secret from Koenma, along with the feelings this new side of her was bringing out in force. Where he'd previously been able to pass his thoughts off as admiration for her tenacity-and only barely-now they were unmistakable, and he wasn't quite sure how to proceed. That required further thought as he sat at a late night diner, waving over Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"It's really late, Kurama. What the hell happened?" Yusuke asked, settling into a seat across from him.

Kuwabara sat on Yusuke's other side, saying, "I knew it was important if it was you calling us at this time of day."

"I am sorry," Kurama said, shaking his head. "I wanted to talk to the both of you before I meet with Koenma."

"Toddler Bitch?" Yusuke asked, raising an eyebrow. "Seriously, what's going on?"

"Mei snuck out of the house today to go back to where she used to live. She'd gone to retrieve something."

"Whoa, shit, really?" Yusuke frowned, saying, "I thought she was just out with Botan or something."

"The fact that you didn't question that makes you really stupid, Urameshi," Kuwabara said. "Don't you think someone would have told you if she was out with Botan?"

"Nobody tells me anything," he replied, leaning his chair back on its hind legs.

"I am sorry," Kurama said. "I know my calling you earlier and telling you to go home was a bit odd. I was in a bit of a panic after Hiei contacted me."

"Hiei?" Kuwabara asked as a waitress came over to take their drink orders.

"He's the one who followed her," Kurama said. "She was ambushed by her old employer, the one who had her stealing from Spirit World before. Apparently, his name is Hisashi. He's a portal demon, which means he can transport matter and spiritual or demonic energy different places but make it seem like he's erasing it from existence." Kurama had spoken with Hiei via communicator on his way to the diner and learned about what had happened when the other demon had tried to deflect one of Hisashi's attacks. His very energy had felt like it was siphoned away, when in reality, it had just...moved elsewhere.

"That sounds pretty spooky," Kuwabara said as the waitress returned with their drinks. "And he's after Mei?"

Kurama sighed, running a hand over his face. "Everyone is after Mei. This man by no means owns the monopoly, I assure you. However, he's very dangerous. He wants to possess her, as though she was an object, a trophy perhaps."

"Disgusting," Kuwabara grunted, elbowing Yusuke who'd been blowing bubbles in his soda. "She's a person!" He gripped his drink tightly, and Kurama wondered if perhaps he was remembering a time when his own beloved Yukina was treated much the same way.

"You know as well as I how easy it is to ignore that fact in the face of the benefits of doing so."

"So, when do we beat the shit out of this guy?" Yusuke asked, fiddling with his straw.

"We don't," Kurama said, making Yusuke grimace. "At least, not yet. He disappeared without a trace yesterday, presumably through one of his portals, and I think it would be dangerous to track him at this moment. We need to gather more information before we proceed carelessly."

"If this Hisashi is the kind of guy who doesn't care about Mei as a person, there's no way he cares about killing in general," Kuwabara said, nodding. "We have to keep our ears and eyes open."

"All right," Yusuke grumbled.

"Next time you see Hiei, have him show you what the man looks like so you know who you're looking for."

"Ugh, gross," Kuwabara grumbled. "He has to do that mind thing, doesn't he?"

Yusuke laughed as Kurama sighed. "Yes, Kuwabara, he will use his Jagan."

"Little three-eyed weirdo," he mutters, taking a long sip of his drink.

Kurama looked up at the clock on the wall, wishing he didn't still have one last place to be. It was 3 AM, and he wanted to be fast asleep. However, he'd promised Mei, and if he wanted her to trust him, he couldn't go back on his word.

"I wanted to keep you two up to date on what's been going on," Kurama said. "Thank you both for coming." He got to his feet, placing enough money on the table to cover the bill. "I must speak with Koenma now."

"Wait, you're not going to rat her out, are you?" Yusuke asked.

"Of course not," Kurama said. "I'm trying to relieve you and Kuwabara from house-sitting."

"That sounds kinda scary," Yusuke replied, frowning. "What have you got up your sleeve?"

"Absolutely nothing."

Every person at that table knew how much of a lie that was, but they all let it slide as Kurama left for Spirit World.

…

Koenma knew he was in for something unpleasant when Kurama had asked to meet him at four in the morning. The toddler king hadn't been able to sleep anyway, but that was beside the point. Kurama only ever came directly to him when he wanted something, and Koenma was pretty sure he didn't want to give it. Sitting in his office at his desk, he pretended to peruse some papers, wishing to at least make it look like he had been productive when the fox arrived.

"Coffee, sire?" Botan asked, rubbing her eyes with her kimono sleeves. She'd been up late as well, working hard on his latest project for her, and it felt unkind to ask her to do anymore. Still, it was downright cruel of Kurama to come bother him at this hour, so he wasn't feeling generous.

"Yes. And make it with extra milk and sugar!" He snapped his fingers, and she snapped a salute, turning to leave. She stumbled into the doorframe on her way out, and Koenma sighed. The day was young, and yet he was already over it.

"Koenma, sir?" Jorge poked his head in the room, saying, "Kurama is here."

"Send him in." Koenma rubbed his temples, hoping Botan would hurry with that coffee as one of the craftiest people in the three worlds, demon or otherwise, stepped into his office. He received just a little bit of satisfaction when he saw Kurama looked tired as well, as though he too had not slept just yet, but it was short-lived when the other man opened his mouth.

"Koenma." He nodded his head, and Koenma got to his feet, swapping into his older body.

"Kurama. It's good to see you. What brings you here so early in the morning?"

"Mei has given me more information about her previous employer. She's also agreed to cooperate with us, within reason, in what ways she can."

That was not what Koenma had been expecting. "Why the sudden change?" he asked, instantly suspicious. Mei had been very short with her responses to questions previously, never saying more than she absolutely needed to. It had been irritating, to say the least. Irritating and concerning. If he didn't know what was going on in her head, it was much harder to plan around her and her new existence in everyone's lives.

"A verbal altercation with Keiko, for one," Kurama said, running his fingertips over the grain of Koenma's desk. The king had to resist the urge to ask him to stop. Anything plant-like or that came from plants was bound to have a strange reaction to the demon before him. However, this was Kurama. While he certainly had his own agenda, Koenma trusted him. Right?

"And apparently, she wants to trust us. However, she's been burned before and finds it difficult."

"I can understand that," Koenma said, running a hand through his short brown hair. "Honestly, this is very good news. If we can count on her as an ally, she'll be invaluable to us."

"I wouldn't go that far just yet," Kurama replied, removing his hands from the table. "She's looking for reasons to trust us. Because of that, I wish to extend a gesture of goodwill, with your approval."

Here it was. The reason Kurama had really come was this "gesture". "All right," Koenma grumbled. "I'll bite. What do you want?"

"She needs to be able to leave my apartment."

"Absolutely not." Koenma crossed his arms, saying, "Don't you have wards and protections put up so no one can trace her there? And what if she runs away? We cannot afford to lose track of her."

"I can assure you," Kurama said, his voice almost unbearably mild, "she will do no such thing. She is well aware how much trouble her presence causes when unchecked, and she does not wish to cause anyone else grief. I intend to give her this," he says, holding out a sachet attached to a leather thong. "It will both disguise her demon scent on the off chance she loses control or doesn't do it herself. It also doubles as tracking. I will know where she is at all times, and if she needs my assistance, she will be able to call me."

"Kurama, do you really trust her that much?" Koenma asked, shaking his head.

The demon took a moment, thinking over Koenma's words. "She poured her heart and soul out to me this morning, telling me things she had no reason to if she wasn't planning on allowing us to earn her trust. If we leave the status quo unchecked, nothing good will come of it. Foxes don't do well in cages."

Koenma wished he could argue with that, but he knew the truth to Kurama's words. It was part of the reason he asked as little of him as he did. Hemming Kurama in with his rules and regulations was a surefire way to make the fox wish to rebel. As gentle as Kurama could be, he could be equally as ruthless and cruel. It was this knowledge that brought the next words out of Koenma's mouth.

"I'll think about it."

"Today," Kurama replied, and Koenma sighed.

"Yes, yes, I'll have your answer by tonight."

"Thank you. I'll leave you to your paperwork." With a slight bow, one that felt less deferential than Koenma would have liked, the demon was gone.

"That sly fox is going to be the death of me someday." He swapped back to toddler form and began to pace. Kurama was not to be trifled with, something he was certain Mei would learn if she stepped too far outside the bonds she was being placed in. No longer being confined to Kurama's apartment would likely ease the stress of those bindings, but a bigger cage was still a cage. He couldn't wait for the next two weeks to be over. This stress was too much.

After pacing a few minutes longer, he gave up on thinking and headed to his room to once again try to sleep, having completely forgotten about Botan and the coffee that never came. For her part, however, the grim reaper had fallen asleep beside the coffee pot, milk on the counter, the refrigerator door left wide open.

…

King Koenma isn't happy to see us; that much I can tell. He's standing outside the same room we used last time, his arms crossed, tapping his foot.

"Sir, you don't have to be here for this," Botan says. "I know you've got a lot of work to do. I don't mind supervising."

"It's fine, Botan. I want to be around if something goes awry."

"Tch. You don't have anything to worry about," Hiei growls, stalking past him and into the room. I shrug, following suit as Yusuke, Botan, and Koenma bring up the rear. This is the second time I've been in this room, fighting this man. This time, things might just be different.

Standing across from Hiei, I start to stretch, keeping an eye on him as he does the same. He has an unfortunate amount of muscles that bunch and unbunch as he moves. I'm so out of physical shape that I just know he's going to mop the floor with me if I don't use my demon energy. However, I'd told him no tricks, so no tricks is what he's going to get. I just hope I don't embarrass myself too much.

Yusuke and Koenma stand off to one side, and I can feel their eyes on me. The young king in particular seems to be trying to bore holes in me with his gaze, and I have to resist the urge to stare back. Kurama said he wouldn't tell Koenma anything, right? So, is there another reason he's trying to see _through_ me?

"Ready?" Hiei barks, and I look up, wincing at the expression on his face. He's clearly expecting far too much, yet somehow, he also looks disappointed already.

"I am."

"Good," he replies. "No holding back." With that, he charges at me, at full speed. I mentioned before that he's much faster than I am. This still holds true, and therefore, I stumble to the side, just managing to dodge him colliding with me. He narrows his eyes, coming at me again, this time poised to punch. Once again, I literally trip out of his path.

"What the hell are you doing?" he snarls.

"Dodging for my life, I think," I reply.

"Fight me!"

"And lose?" This comes out as a squeak as his fist whizzes past my head. Before I can react, his knee comes up to catch me in my midsection. Putting my hands on it, I let the momentum carry me back instead of landing as a proper blow, moving so I can land on my hands, flipping head over heels so I end up back on my feet.

"Coward," he growls, scowling.

"Think what you will," I reply. "I'd rather you think me a coward than be dead." I sink into a fighting stance, saying, "I haven't fought like this in a very long time. Just need to warm up."

"If that's the case, allow me to oblige." He begins to launch a flurry of punches and kicks, all of which I stumble around, barely dodging. One of us looks like a fool, and I'm actually not sure it's me. Who's more foolish, the one tripping around like a moron or the one who can't land a hit on said moron?

When I feel properly warmed up, I plant a foot and catch a flying fist, surprising the other demon. He falters, and that's just enough time for me to aim a kick at his head. He dodges just in time, and I backpedal a few steps, rolling my shoulders. I'm so stiff, and I hate this.

"Are you ready to fight instead of playing around now?" Hiei asks, shaking out the hand I'd caught.

"I guess I am," I reply, not for the first time today regretting my life choices. He springs forward, and while I manage to block the fist aimed for my face, I fail to dodge the kick aimed at my ribs that sends me across the room, skidding on the floor. That's going to hurt in the morning.

"Fight me!" he snarls, leaping at me. I roll out of the way just in time, grabbing his shirt and flinging him into the ground, pressing my knee into his chest. He doesn't give me time to catch my breath, his hands fisting into my shirt as he throws me off him. I land on the ground, and he's standing over me, watching with his eyes narrowed.

"This is all you have to offer when you can't use those tricks of yours?"

"I told you, I'm out of practice," I reply. "Besides, what fox do you know who prefers to fist fight over using their powers?"

"None," he says, frowning.

I get to my feet, brushing myself off. I can tell he's watching me closely, so I face him, sliding into a fighting stance once more. "Again." I'm not satisfied, and neither is he, I can tell. Hiei is strong, but I think I've not given him a good chance to prove that. How can I really and truly test him?

He doesn't give me time to think this over as he springs at me. We exchange rapidfire hits and kicks, Hiei always just a little faster than me. I can't keep up, so when he draws blood, it shouldn't be as surprising as it is. However, it makes us both pause. Or rather, it makes me pause, and when Hiei swings again, I catch his fist in my palm. There's a cracking sound, as his joints pop in my grip. He yanks his hand away, and I lick the blood from my lip, inhaling deeply.

My vision swims for a moment as I take a deep breath, the coppery scent and taste of my own blood sharpening my senses. I feel my fox ears prick up, my tail swishing. A small part of me is aware that these things weren't out before, but a very, very small part. The rest of me...hungers for blood that isn't my own. A snarl emerges from my mouth, more animal than anything else. Hiei eyes me warily before moving in to strike.

The moment he gets within a foot of me, I ram a fist into his face, sending him flying. He recovers, charging at me again, but as he approaches, I sidestep, my hand encircling his neck, yanking him to a halt. He tries to pry my fingers away, even as I squeeze the breath from him. It isn't until he rakes his fingernails along my skin, making me gasp in pain, that I release him. He stumbles back, gasping for breath.

"Where's all this coming from?" he asks, as my tails flick, the air around me brittle, crackling with energy. When I don't respond, he shakes his head. "Whatever."

This time, when he charges at me, I feel him before he moves, feel where he's going to end up and...I meet him there. In one fluid motion, I grab him by his shirt, fling him down onto the ground, and pin him beneath me, my teeth going for his exposed neck.

"Mei!"

Before my fangs can find flesh, I freeze at that sound, slowly returning to my senses. I hide my tails and ears, scooting away from Hiei like he's burned me. I run a hand over my face, waving my fingers in front of my eyes. Still fingers. Sliding my hands through my hair, I sigh. No fur. Normal ears. For a moment there, the smell of blood had sent me feral.

"Mei, are you all right?" Looking up, I'm surprised to find Kurama kneeling down in front of me. I'd thought he was still at work. What time is it? He reaches out, turning my face this way and that to get a good look at my eyes. "It looks like you're back to normal."

I nod, looking over at Hiei, who has gotten to his feet. He stalks toward me, saying, "What the hell was that?"

"It doesn't matter," I say, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I hold out my hand for a leaf, but before it can fall in my hand, Kurama catches it, and I realize what I'd almost done. Out of fear, discomfort, shame, I'd almost gone right back to using Himeji's body.

"What do you mean, 'it doesn't matter'?" Hiei snarls. "I want to know what made you nearly kill me."

"It doesn't _matter_ ," I bark, narrowing my eyes at him.

"All right, you two," Botan says, stepping between us. She offers me a hand that I hesitantly take. "You got your fight, Hiei, and no one was seriously injured. Mei, let me take a look at those scratches; you're bleeding all over your clothes." Botan gestures for me to follow her, and I do so, head down, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone.

As we step out of the room, everyone watching us go, all I can think is that, for a moment there, Kurama's voice had sounded like another fox, defending its territory.

...

After Botan has finished patching me up, Kurama and I go back to his apartment in silence. I'm tired and can't think of anything to say. He seems to be thinking about something, and I don't want to disturb him anyway. Once we step inside, he sighs hugely, and I wince at the sound. I know I'm responsible for eliciting that from him. If only there were some way I could make this easier.

 _You could always run away._ And force him to come looking for me? That would only make things worse. I rake a hand through my hair, caught off guard when I hear a soft chuckle. Kurama is smiling wearily at me, leaving me offering him what must be a very owlish sort of look.

"You look as exhausted as I feel," he explains.

"Oh. Um, it's possible." I quickly look away, rubbing one arrm with my hand as I search for something else to focus on. His smile, even a tired one like that, makes me feel warm.

"I can only assume your fight with Hiei today was an attempt at making good on our conversation from last night." I can hear his footsteps retreat into the kitchen, so I relax a little, wincing as my injuries rub against the bandaging.

"You told me last time that it was disrespectful to fight him as I did. I wanted to...try again." I bite my lip, warring with myself before adding, "I also wanted to test him. I wanted to see if…."

"If we could really take care of ourselves as I'd claimed?"

He's giving me a wry look, one that I meet with pleading eyes. "Yes."

"I understand," he says, shrugging it off, not at all bothered. "Did you find him lacking?"

I shake my head, saying, "He fights very well. Once I got over the fear of permanent mortal injury, I made a pretty good assessment."

"Ah, yes, that fear that pervades every conversation with Hiei." He's joking, I can tell, but all I can do in response is smile weakly. His expression softens, and I have to look away again. "Do you want anything in particular for dinner? You must be hungry."

"Not really," I reply. "Whatever you want to make is fine." Sitting down on the couch, I lay down, curling up as I turn on the TV.

"Don't watch the news," Kurama says.

"I never do," I mumble into the cushion, flipping the channel to some mind-numbing game show. Hopefully, this will help me clear my head. So much has happened in the past two days, and I don't even know where to start with processing it. Hisashi knows what I am. Kurama knows the worst details of my recent past. I promised I would open up to these people and trust them in my life. I've decided not to hide from my feelings anymore, even this new, complicated feeling for the man currently making me dinner.

It's a lot to take in, and I don't know what will be left of me when I'm done. Will I still be Megami? Have I ever been her, or am I just pretending, like with every other aspect of my life? That's what I'm going to find out, one way or another, before the next two weeks are up. Hopefully, trusting my instincts will guide me to who I really am or who I want to be.

By the time my stomach starts to rumble, dinner is done. I join Kurama at the table, not the least bit surprised at the instant noodles, spiced up with some fresh vegetables and chicken. If he'd made a full course meal after today, I would have been convinced he was some kind of machine, not flesh and blood. Still, it's food, and I've never had the luxury of being picky, so I eat quickly and silently. He doesn't seem to mind, although I have the distinct impression there's something he wants to tell me. Maybe he's just waiting until we're done, which is polite but less than comforting.

When that time comes, rather than getting up to wash the dishes right away, he says, "I have something to tell you that's going to be hard for you to hear."

I nod my head, saying, "I had a feeling by the way you were acting."

He looks surprised, but after a moment, he lets out a breathy sigh. "I'd forgotten that you're exceptionally perceptive."

"S-sorry," I reply, balling my hands into fists. "I-I just…."

"I didn't say it was a bad thing," he says. "Just something I have to get used to. I've been told I'm hard to read."

"You are. I didn't think you were trying to hide how pensive you've been since we got back."

"I wasn't really," he says, shaking his head. "We're getting off topic. Mei." He takes a deep breath before saying, "Your apartment was destroyed yesterday. The landlord was killed in the explosion."

I think my stomach just fell through my feet. "W-what...?" I swallow hard, my fingernails biting into my skin at how tightly my hands are clenched. "Why?" He looks away from me, and suddenly I know the answer. "It was my fault. Because I lost control, he...I…." Transforming like I did must have given me away somehow. It's all my fault.

"Mei, when you lost consciousness, you gave off an immense amount of power. That's what drew them there."

I nod, angry with myself. "Of course."

"I think it must have had something to do with the stress you've been under lately. Not only were you ripped out of your life, you were worried your secret would get out, and you've been stuck here in this small space for the past two weeks."

"It's possible," I reply, glaring down at the table.

"Because of that, I negotiated with Koenma." _What_? I look up at him, confused. He continues, reaching in his pocket to reveal a sachet on a leather thong. It smells vaguely like flowers. "I told him you need to be able to get out of this place sometimes. He agreed as long as you promise three things: you won't leave the city, you'll return before dark, and you'll wear this when you go out."

I take it from him, focusing on the energy mingling inside the little cloth sachet. "What does it do?"

"It will disguise your demon scent on the off chance you lose control again. It also doubles as tracking. I will know where you are at all times, and if you need my assistance, you will be able to call me. It's still a cage, Mei, but it's a larger one."

"Someone like me should probably be kept on a tight leash, anyway," I say, sliding the sachet around my neck without hesitation. The look on Kurama's faces shows he wasn't expecting that. "What?"

"You just agreed to being tracked like it was nothing. Mei, you realize this is a serious invasion of your privacy, correct?"

"Correct. But if it keeps other people safe, how can I say no?"

"Very easily," Kurama says. "Listen." He rakes a hand through his hair, clearly agitated with me. "Yesterday was the culmination of a very specific set of circumstances. I don't want you agreeing to this because something out of your control forces you to feel like you need to. If you're agreeing to this, I want it to be because you want to…." He sighs, trying again, "I don't want you to feel like a prisoner anymore. Perhaps that's both foolish and selfish of me, but I assure you I like being your captor as much as you like being my captive."

"It doesn't feel like that anymore," I reply, staring down at my hands. I've drawn blood in little half-moons on my palms, so I focus on that as I say, "It hasn't for some time."

"Regardless, that is the case. So please." He reaches out, using a finger to lift my chin so I have to meet his eyes. "If you agree to this, do it for yourself."

Swallowing hard, I nod, reluctantly pulling away. "All right. I agree...because I miss the feel of grass beneath my feet, running full stride, and sitting in the middle of town, feeling the world move around me. I miss...being free, whatever that means."

"All right," he says, getting to his feet and scooping up our bowls. "What would you like to do tonight? We can continue the book we were reading last night or just watch TV?"

"Oh, um, well." I stand as well as he walks past me and back toward the restroom. He comes back out with a first aid kit, gesturing for me to follow him to the couch. I do so, and he takes my hand, disinfecting the scratches I'd created on my palms before bandaging them. When he's finished, he looks up at me as though still awaiting a response.

"W-whatever you want to do," I reply, thoroughly flustered. Reaching up, I tug on a fox ear, stopping short in surprise. I don't remember those coming out. I must really be out of it.

"I'm asking you, Mei," he says, his voice low and soft, two things that make my stomach flip in pleasant ways.

"Then...could we read some more? I like hearing your voice." I press my injured hands against the tops of my thighs, hoping that wasn't too forward of me. It was me sharing my feelings, so it should be okay, right?

"All right," he says, and I frown, looking over to see the faintest blush on his face. _Was it what I said?_ If so, I may have to say things like that more often. I like that expression he's wearing.

Kurama picks up the book from the coffee table, picking up where we left off. I just sit and listen, letting his voice carry me somewhere far away, somewhere there are no golden foxes or beings out to get me. A place where Kurama and I exist as just a man and a woman, sharing a moment somehow both so intimate and yet so pedestrian. Part of me wishes we could just stay here forever.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, my head is on Kurama's shoulder. My first instinct is to sit up, but I realize his head is resting on top of mine, and he's fast asleep. The book is closed in his lap, and his hands are resting on top of it. Slowly, I reach for one, twining my fingers in his before closing my eyes and drifting off again.

* * *

A/N: Hey, so, uh, I promise this story is still here. I've had half of this chapter written for ages, but I've been so caught up in life lately. The motivation to write just isn't there. I'm hoping to get back into things, but I won't make promises again. If it's any consolation, I've got everything else planned, so I know where I'm going with this. Every time I see a new person follow this story, it spurs me into wanting to write again. So, feel free to guilt me into continuing, guys (I'm sort of joking). Anyway, thanks to anyone who's still reading this and anyone who's starting to read.


	11. Now or Never

Shiori Hatanaka was no slouch when it came to looking after her family. Having been a single mom for quite some time, she knew what it looked like when the men in her life were hiding things from her. Her oldest son was especially prone to that. Ever since he was old enough to keep secrets, Shuichi had been doing so for one reason or another. She could never figure out what it was he felt the need to hide so badly, but she knew it was there, just under the surface.

Even now, eating lunch with him, she could tell something was on his mind that he had no interest in sharing.

"Shuichi, dear, what's bothering you?" Still, as his mother, she had to try.

"Oh, nothing," he replied, that assuring smile sliding right onto his face as he looked up at her. Where his green eyes and red hair had come from was beyond her. Perhaps his birth father had had foreign blood in his genes somewhere down the line. Whatever the case, it had made her son stand out quite a bit throughout his life. When he was young, he'd been teased pretty harshly for it, but as he got older, Shiori had noticed it drew people to him. That, and the mild demeanor he presented to everyone. The only people she'd ever seen break the pleasant mask he wore were his friends, Yusuke and Kuwabara, and herself.

"Is it about a girl?"

When he spat out some of his drink, Shiori couldn't help but be surprised. She'd hit him with that line countless times since he graduated high school, and not once had she gotten more than a polite negative. Her son seemed to have no interest in dating, something she wasn't thrilled with but had learned to handle via occasionally prodding, just in case one did somehow show up on his radar. Did this mean…?

"No, no," he said, wiping up his drink. He wouldn't meet her eyes, however.

"Oh, Shuichi!" Shiori cried, clapping her hands together. "That's such good news! Tell me, what's her name? What is she like? Does she have a job? Where did you meet her?"

"Mother," he whined, but she was not letting this go. She met his obstinate gaze with her own until he finally let out a long sigh. The mighty Shiori had succeeded in defeating her son. Whenever she could guess at the root of his problems, he always fell prey to her patented Mom Stare.

"Her name is Mei," he said, breaking eye contact. "We only met two weeks ago."

 _Mei_? That was by no means an uncommon name, but what would the odds be that it was Shiori's friend whom she hadn't seen in just about the same amount of time? It was probably just wishful thinking, but Shiori wouldn't have minded seeing her son and that girl together. She'd always gotten the impression that Mei had had a hard life and could use something steady to tie her down. Shuichi was nothing if not a very steady, grounded individual.

 _Even if it isn't my Mei, maybe when she comes back, I'll introduce them._

"Only two weeks, and she's already taking up so much of your thoughts?" Shiori asked, shaking her head. "Well, snatch her up while you can, dear. Anyone who can drive my son to such distraction is likely a keeper."

"It's...it's complicated," Shuichi replied. "She's complicated."

"That sounds like an excuse," Shiori scolded, making her son wince. "I'm very happy someone has caught your eye after all this time. You spend too much time alone. If this girl has the potential to make you happy, then why should you let complicated things get in the way?"

"I don't have a choice," he replied. "She's been through a lot, and she's not looking for a partner in that way." He paused, frowning deeply as he said, "At least, I don't think she is."

"Well, you won't know until you try."

…

This wasn't how Kenta had planned to spend his Sunday, digging through what was left of Mei's old apartment building. Hisashi had ordered him to look for any traces of the demons who'd succinctly demolished the easiest way to bait out one wily fox demon. Using her landlord or her possessions as collateral might have enticed her forth once again. As things now stood, or didn't for that matter, she was gone, back in hiding wherever it was she'd disappeared to. According to Hisashi, she was still with that red-haired man Kenta had left her with two weeks ago.

Kicking at a particularly large piece of drywall, Kenta sighed. There was nothing left here. The assholes who did this made sure of that. What was the allure of a golden fox that made people act so foolishly? He'd heard all the stories, but surely that was all they were, right? Even if every last one of them was true, she was still a person, and she didn't deserve to be treated like an object.

Sighing, he gave the rubble one last sweep, something catching his eye. Where everything should have been grays and blacks, reduced to ash or burnt to bits, light brown stood out. He uncovered a lacquered wooden box, only big enough to fit in his hand. It was completely undamaged by the fire, and when he lifted the lid, his eyes widened at what he found inside. Without a word, he turned and left the wreckage behind.

…

"Botan, I'm not so sure about this." It's been all of a day since Kurama informed me that I could have a little more freedom as long as I agreed to be tracked, but already Botan is taking advantage of that. It's lunchtime, and we're sitting in a cafe at the mall, apparently waiting for a few friends of hers. After we eat, she's going to force me to buy clothing, something I try to avoid. I have money, but the idea of Boss...Hisashi...knowing I'd bought clothing with his money always stops me short.

"It will be fine, Mei," Botan replies, smiling brightly at me. "Ohhhh, I can't wait until you meet Shizuru and Yukina. It's so nice to have another girl in the group."

Is that what I am? Do I really count as being "in the group" when the strongest ties I have are that Hiei wants to fight me and Kurama has to look after me? I'm not so sure.

"Hey!" Keiko says, running over. "Am I late? I'm on my lunch break." She's dressed neatly, but her hair's a mess from her run. Smoothing it out as best she can, she takes a seat beside me.

"Not at all," Botan says as two more women arrive. One of them is tall and slim, with long brown hair and the other is short with mint blue-green hair. I had been informed that one of them was Kuwabara's sister and the other his partner. If I had to guess, I would say the demon is probably not related to the human.

"This the new kid?" the brunette asks as she presses the call button to summon one of the staff.

"Yes!" Botan says, her voice loud and very chipper. She's all too excited considering there's a good chance I'm going to mess this up somehow. "Mei, this is Shizuru Kuwabara, and this is Yukina."

"Nice to meet you," I say, bowing as best I can in my seat.

"You too," Shizuru says. The waiter arrives just then, and we give him our orders, mine paid for on behalf of Spirit World, according to Botan. Everything I have right now is courtesy of them. It makes me wonder if the little king wants me to feel indebted to him when this is all over. I can't think that far ahead right now. I'm still getting used to the idea of there being an after. Just two more weeks. Pretty soon, I'll have to start gathering my things, but I don't feel like it's safe to have them all in one place just yet.

"So, Keiko's been keeping us up to date on what's been going on at Kurama's lately," Shizuru says, looking at me. "You're trouble, huh?"

"Yes," I reply simply, unable to meet her eyes. She's got honest, easily readable ones just like her brother. Unlike her brother, I'm not sure I can handle the truths hiding there.

"At least you can admit it," she says, smiling. "I like that."

"Kazuma has told me that you're very powerful!" Yukina says. "You've bested Hiei in a fight twice!"

Yukina's red eyes are sparkling, and I have this sudden feeling I've seen them before. I focus on the tiny strands of life that emanate from her, the ones that I've always been able to see since the day my tail split. By doing so, I learn two things: Yukina is an ice apparition and she has similar base energy to Hiei. That must mean they're related. If I had to guess….

"Your brother is a skilled fighter," I reply. Judging by the rapid changes in expression, I have the feeling this wasn't the right thing to say.

"How...how do you know he's my brother?" Yukina sputters.

"Your life energy is similar," I say.

"Life...energy?"

Botan has taken out a notebook and paper, and I sigh. Sure, invite me to lunch but take notes to report back to Koenma. This is fine. "I can see the life force of every living, multi-cellular thing. It's like a light that flows through you. It tells a story of your life."

"Fascinating!" Botan cries, smiling brightly at me after scribbling intently.

"Prove it," Shizuru says. "What's my story?"

I sigh, tucking some hair behind my ear. More than anything, I want to change, to don Himeji's skin and hide, but I can't. I...I promised. A tiny voice in my head asks why I care about a promise made to my captor, but I push it away, knowing I'm not quite prepared for all of the answers. "You're 25 years old, and you work with your hands for a living," I tell her, focusing on the swirls of energy emanating from her skin. "But it's not strenuous work. You've been smoking since you were 14, but you're trying to quit. At no point in your life have you gone hungry, but sometimes it's been close. You live alone right now, but...you have a significant other who comes to visit rather frequently. You're very close to your brother, but it's a tough love situation. Um…." I sigh, shrugging. "What else?"

My words are met with silence, so I pull back my attention so the swirls are just extras now, and I can focus on the shocked women in front of me. "S-sorry," I stammer, looking down at my hands. "You did ask."

"Yeah, no, that's fine," Shizuru says. "You know, you could start a fortune telling business."

"I'd rather not," I say, still not meeting anyone's eyes.

"Hey, Mei?" Keiko says my name like she's expecting something of me. After a moment or two, I look up at her, surprised to find her smiling softly. "It's okay. No one's mad at you."

"It's rather unsettling to have one's life picked out like that," Yukina says, nodding. "But she did ask for it."

"I did ask," Shizuru says, a smirk on her face. "And you delivered. Can you do that to anyone?"

"For the most part," I say. Actually, it's just everyone except for Kurama. Every time I look at him, I see two different life forces competing with each other. Because of that, I can't read either. "I try not to, however. People don't really like being read like that."

"So I've discovered," Shizuru says. "Yusuke would totally get a kick out of it, I bet."

"Oh, don't even tell him," Keiko replies, a long-suffering expression on her face. "He would probably think it was the funniest thing ever, sure, but then he'd never leave you alone about it, asking you to do it for everyone."

"Kazuma would hate it," Yukina says, frowning.

"He's so...sensitive." Shizuru throws up her hands in defeat, saying, "Men. Actually, speaking of difficult men, what's it like living with Living World's most irritating bachelor?"

"I thought I had that joy," Keiko replies, shrugging.

"Please," Shizuru says. "All you have to do is say 'sit' and Yusuke's kissing your feet."

"She makes an excellent point," Botan adds. "Yusuke is a handful, but at least he's easy to read. Kurama is so...difficult."

"Seriously. What he needs is a significant other so we have someone who's got some pull on him. Right now, we just bug his mom."

"You want to partner him so you can control him?" I ask, frowning.

"Not control," Shizuru says. "Just...understand, I guess. Whoever's brave enough to really be in a relationship with him has to have some idea of what's going on in his head."

The waiter comes with our food just then, and when my noodles are placed in front of me, I eyeball them, wondering what that means for me. I can occasionally read Kurama, but usually, he's blissfully difficult. In my life, I've come across very few people I can't see through if I try, so having him around is kind of relieving. Do I need to understand him in that way in order to consider being his partner? Wait, partner? Is that what I want?

"Hey, that's a complicated face," Shizuru says. "If you were thinking any harder, would steam come out of your ears?"

"Steam?" I frown, uncertain as to what she means.

"Nevermind. Are you thinking about Kurama? You two must be pretty close, living together and all."

"C-close?" I stammer, and curse everything, but my face grows warm at her words. "It's not as though we chose this arrangement."

"Maybe not," Shizuru says, "but I know what a crush looks like. I don't need any demon powers for that."

"A crush?" Yukina asks, surprised.

"Oh, isn't that just the sweetest thing!" Botan says, clapping her hands together. She's holding her chopsticks, so bits of noodle land on the table. "I can't say I blame you. He is an unusually pretty man."

 _Please, stop talking._ "I-it's not...I mean…." I glare down at my noodles, wishing I was anywhere but here. I could just turn into a cat and run away. Then again, a cat in a mall might draw attention. Maybe a rat. Or a flea. Anyone other than Mei would suffice.

"Stockholm Syndrome?" Yukina asks, derailing Botan's gushing most effectively.

"Oh, is that the one where you fall for your kidnapper?" Keiko says. "But I mean, Kurama hasn't exactly kidnapped her."

"And he isn't mistreating her," Botan replies. "Right?"

"N-no, of course not," I say, sighing. "It's not like that. He is unerringly kind and far too understanding. More than I deserve."

"If you did have a crush on him, it wouldn't be a bad thing, you know," Keiko says. "He's a good guy."

"He really is," Botan adds. "He's got a colorful past, believe it or not, but I get the feeling you do as well."

I nod, saying, "I haven't had feelings like this for anyone in centuries. Maybe if I ignore them, they'll go away."

"If that's what you want, you can try," Shizuru says. "But I doubt that's how that works. You've been through some serious shit, right? Don't you think you deserve to be happy?"

No. Not even a little. And yet, bits of happiness keep forcing their way into my life, against my will. It's like someone is asking me to want to fight for my survival. Something wants me to want to live, and I just don't know if I'm prepared to make that kind of commitment.

"It's possible," is what I choose to reply with.

"Then let what happens happen," Shizuru says. "No one's asking you to marry the guy. Just go with it."

"And if it happens to further Shizuru's agenda, then that's also fine," Keiko deadpans, making the other woman grin.

"Damn straight."

The girls continue to chat and laugh over our food, trying to keep me in the loop when possible. It's pleasant, but they all clearly have years of history that the twenty minutes or so we've shared can't touch. When we've finished eating, Keiko leaves to go back to work, and the other two come shopping with us.

"And we simply must get you a yukata for the festival on Saturday."

"Festival?" I ask, frowning at the grim reaper as she beams at me.

"Of course! The city is holding one at the end of the week. We're all going, and since Koenma has allowed you to leave that apartment, you simply must come along."

Part of me squirms against that turn of phrase, being "allowed to leave." As though anyone could stop me if I chose to go. "If you insist."

Botan, Yukina, and Shizuru are much more excited about this than I could ever be. They pick out a pale purple yukata with rose petals for me, all laughing at some inside joke I don't understand. By the time we finally part ways, I'm exhausted and laden down with clothing bags. I dump them on the floor in my room, flopping down on the bed, face-first. Time passes, but I'm too tired to register just how long before there's a soft knock on the door.

"Mmin," I mumble into the pillow.

The door opens, and I hear a light chuckle. "You look quite tired, Mei," Kurama says.

I roll over, sitting up and resting my elbows on my knees so I can rest my chin in my hands. "I will never go out with your friends again."

"Never?" he asks, a teasing light in his eyes that makes my insides flip. The conversation from earlier flits through my head. _Just go with it._ Right.

"Maybe one more time," I reply. "They're going to take some getting used to."

"I feel I should have warned you, but I had thought maybe they would go easy on you."

"No such thing. It took everything I had not to run away."

"But you didn't," he says, smiling. "I'm very proud of you."

"One of us has to be," I reply, getting to my feet. "I've also been forcibly invited to a festival on Saturday, so I ended up with a yukata."

"Ah, yes, that is this Saturday, isn't it?" He doesn't sound terribly excited, and it makes me wonder if I should be worried. "I'd meant to invite you along, much less forcibly, but it keeps slipping my mind."

"I haven't been to a festival in ages," I say, sighing. "I can only imagine they've changed a fair bit in the past thirty years or so."

"Perhaps," Kurama replies. "Either way, I hope you'll enjoy it. And you don't have to come if you really don't want to. I can come up with a clever enough excuse, I think."

"No, it's fine." As much as I don't really want to admit it, I do actually want to see those girls again. It was a bit overbearing today, but it was also kind of...fun? It definitely counts as one of the least taxing things I've done in a while. Those girls were very straightforward, and I knew from the moment I laid eyes on them that none of them wanted to hurt me. It's nice to know that for a fact and not have to worry about watching my back.

"Well, I'm going to get started on dinner," Kurama says, rolling up his shirtsleeves. "If you'd like to help, I'd certainly appreciate it."

And I do. That night, and every other night for the rest of the week goes much the same way. Kurama comes home from work, I help him make dinner, and then we watch TV or he reads to me until it's time to sleep. The days I usually spend lounging around in the sun somewhere, usually as a cat, sometimes as a squirrel or a bird. The kids in the area like to offer me fish or cat treats, something I don't mind a bit. Just like Kurama had promised, the sachet I wear around my neck disguises my demonic presence entirely. Even if I use a little of my energy, no one comes looking for me. It's relieving.

Friday, after a particularly good catnap, something rather unfortunate happens. A shooting pain races through my skull, and I see another time and place. I'm looking at an intersection that seems familiar. It's definitely somewhere in town, though I'm not quite sure where. As I watch, Shiori Hatanaka steps into view, moving to cross the street as a car comes barreling toward her with no intention of stopping.

Just like that, it's gone, and I'm returned to the present.

I don't play cards. I also refrain from looking too closely at people's life energies. The reason for both of these is the same: I can't _not_ cheat. If I spend too much time looking into other people, I start to see things I'd rather not, like when they will die or any illnesses or griefs in their lives. The card thing is just my catch-all, but I avoid playing any games of chance for the same reason. Sometimes, I get insights into the future, and it's often one I don't want to see.

Shiori. I didn't see her get hit, which means there must be a chance to save her. After making sure no one is around, I shift from cat to person, kneeling down on the grass and digging my fingers into the dirt, concentrating hard. _Slow down, world. Stop spinning so fast._

I learned a long time ago to drown out the heartbeat of the world. It used to be unbearable, being constantly aware of every living thing, being capable of feeling Earth turning on its axis, orbiting the sun. However, I practiced tuning it out, only reaching for it when necessary. Now is one of those times. Comparing the current tilt of this planet, the position of the sun in the sky, and the spin to that of my vision, I can tell exactly when it occurs. The calculation is complicated, but this isn't the first time I've done this. More like the thousandth. I used to try to prevent the future more. At some point, I decided it wasn't worth it anymore, so why now? What's different this time?

Me. I'm different, and I refuse to lose anyone else I care about to something preventable. I rake my hands through the dirt as I get to my feet, letting it fall from my palms as I run. Every person in this city flows through my veins. I can feel them pass through me, some familiar, most not, until I reach the one person I need to find. Two minutes. That's all I have, but it's more than enough. If I get serious, I can teleport through space and time. If I didn't care about ripping holes in the fabric of reality, I would. Instead, I run to that intersection with twenty seconds to spare, locking my eyes on an approaching Shiori. She's on the other side of the road, which means I have to move now.

Shiori's crosswalk signal turns green, and she takes a step as the out of control car races toward her. Before the inevitable collision, I dive into Shiori, making sure to turn so she falls on me and not the ground. I skin my palms, and I think the buttons on the back of my jeans are gone, but other than that, we're both unscathed.

 _I did it. We're okay._

"Mei, oh my goodness, are you all right?"

Shiori is standing now, one hand pressed to her heart as she breathes heavily and the other extended to me. She looks frightened, but she can't be as surprised as I am.

 _She said my name._ Shiori only knows my disguise, not my true demon form, not my own skin. So, how does she know it's me? Unless….

"Mother!" Shiori helps me to my feet as pounding footsteps and familiar energy comes our way. It's Kurama, concern all over his face. He grabs Shiori's hands, looking her over. "Mother, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Shuichi. Mei saved me." Shiori smiles from her son to me, and several pieces click together all at once.

Brushing off the seat of my pants, I wince, looking down at my skinned palms. If that's the worst injury I get today, I'm in good shape.

"Are you all right, Mei?" Kurama asks, and I nod, hiding my hands.

"Fine, thanks, Shuichi." He doesn't bat an eye at my use of that name, and I force a smile of my own, realizing that, despite the fact I've felt like we've been getting closer ever since I bared my soul to him, I hardly know him at all. Not that I've asked. Would he have told me if I had?

"Do you two know each other?" Shiori asks, and we both turn to look at her. The expression on her face makes me a little uneasy. I'm not entirely sure why, but it reminds me of the girls from Monday and how they'd looked at me when they were picking out my yukata.

"Not well," I reply, shrugging.

"And not for long," Kurama adds.

"I see." Shiori nods her head before saying, "Well, Mei, dear, it's been ages. Why don't you come to lunch with Shuichi and me?"

"That's all right," I say. "I'd hate to interrupt."

"You wouldn't be," she says. "Isn't that right, honey?"

The look she gives him is enough for both of us to know he can't say "yes". "Of course not," he says, smiling. "I'd love to learn how you know my mother, after all."

"Well, it's not much of a story," Shiori says, the two of them already heading off to some predetermined eating location. I have little choice but to follow, much to my chagrin.

I'm surprised at first when we stop at a ramen stand. That surprise immediately fades at the sight of the proprietor, one Yusuke Urameshi. He gives us a big smile and a wave as we approach, yelling, "Hey, long time no see, Reds, Mrs. Hatanaka."

 _Reds?_ I frown as the three of us take seats. I guess my hair color is considered red, and Kurama's is actually red, but that's still a first.

"Hello, Yusuke," Shiori says, smiling at him. "You should have told me that Mei was a friend of Shuichi's too!"

"Well, you know me. I like surprises," he replies, grinning. "Besides, Mei's supposed to be away for another week, right?"

"Right," I mutter. "I'm still...supposed to be away."

"Anyway." Yusuke keeps talking before Shiori can ask questions, which is relieving because I don't think I have answers. Nothing I could tell her could be the truth. _Hey, I've just been living with your son for the past three weeks, waiting until I become one serious monster of a demon._ "What can I make for you guys?"

We order our bowls, and Yusuke disappears into the back of his cart, leaving the three of us alone. Perfect. As Shiori and Kurama exchange banal conversation, I spend every second waiting for Yusuke to come back with food so I have an excuse not to talk. My first friend in 30 years, and the first man I've entertained feelings for in over half a millennia are related. Am I being punished for something?

"Mei?"

I jump at the sound of my name, nearly falling off my stool in the process. "Y-yes?" I stammer, looking at the two sources of my current discomfort.

"Are you all right?" Shiori asks. "You seem like you're miles away."

"O-oh, I'm fine. Really. Just tired." Which isn't a lie. Using my energy the way I did to find her was exhausting, especially since I'm so out of practice.

"Thank you for saving me," she says. "I'm sorry you got hurt because of it."

"It's fine," I reply, looking down at the wooden countertop in front of me. "You would have been worse off if that car had hit you."

"I'm just very lucky you were there," she says.

"Incredibly so," Kurama replies. "Thank you, Mei."

I shrug as Yusuke brings out our food, relieving me from having to accept any more gratitude. It wasn't like I did it for either of them. I saved her for myself, after all.

"Hey, you all right?" Yusuke asks me, poking my forehead as I stare down into my noodles. "You look kind of rough."

Looking up at him, time seems to slow, like I can see the universe moving around him. Demon and human energy sparks from his skin, drawing me in as his life past and future stretches before my eyes. The father who never bothered to get to know him, the mother who had him too young and didn't ever grow up enough to raise him, the streetfights, his first death, and all the fights with demons after. Soon, he will marry, and Keiko will have his first child. They will love her to pieces, and Yusuke will try his best to be the father he never had. The second child will be a boy, and Yusuke will worry that this one will be just as screwed up as he is….

"Mei! Mei!"

Someone is shaking me, and I jerk out of the vision, trembling with tears in my eyes. The shaking stops, and I'm able to focus on Kurama at my side, his hand on my shoulder.

"I think you need to go home," Kurama says, his voice soft and even, despite the worry on his face.

"Here, let me pack this up for you," Yusuke says, grabbing my bowl and disappearing again.

My head is spinning, and I cover my face with my hands, trying desperately to shut out the world. I can hear everything, and yet it sounds like nothing. The sounds of life and death, incessant and never-ending, echo through my skull, making it hard to breathe.

 _Just make it stop._

Silence. Pure, blissful silence. When I open my eyes, Kurama is standing in front of me now, his hands over my ears. Looking at him, I start to panic, afraid that I'll see his life next, laid out before me like a tapestry, but instead, it's just him. No wisps of energy, no strands of life. Just Kurama. Taking slow, deep breaths, I close my eyes once more, letting everything settle inside me. Slowly but surely, I regain control of myself. I'm more tired than ever, but at least I'm in charge of my own power again.

I reach up, my hands encircling Kurama's wrists, holding them for a moment before pulling his hands from my ears. "Thank you," I manage, forcing myself to meet his eyes. I can only do so for a few seconds, but it's long enough to see the relief in his. I don't blame him for being worried. He probably thought I was going to go berserk and start hurting people or something. The truth of the matter would have been much less exciting.

"Mei," Shiori says, and I realize she's standing by my side. I swipe roughly at my tears, sniffling as I turn to face her. "You know, if something's bothering you, you can talk to me," she says, smiling a little. "I'd like to help, if I can."

"It's not like that," I reply, getting to my feet. My knees are wobbly, and I have to hold onto the stool to stay upright. "It's not something I need to talk about. It's more like...I'm sick." I shrug, uncertain of what I should tell her. "I'm sick, and in order to get better, I just need time."

"All right, Mei," she says, pulling me into an unexpected hug. It only lasts for a second or two, but suddenly, I want to cry for an entirely different reason. "Just know I'll be waiting for you. I miss our library lunches."

"Me too," I manage, swallowing hard.

"Hey, I'll walk you home," Yusuke says, stepping out from the back with a bag in his hand.

"You don't have to," I say, shaking my head. "I'm okay, really."

"I'd rather someone stayed with you," Kurama says. "If you passed out somewhere, we would never know."

I wince, reaching up to wrap a hand around the sachet around my neck. "I guess not."

"You guys can keep eating if you want. I'll be back in a little bit. Just don't steal anything while I'm gone."

"Of course not," Kurama replies, giving Yusuke a withering stare.

"Come on, invalid. Let's get you out of here before your guard dog bites me." Yusuke only laughs at Kurama's sigh as I push off from the stool I'm leaning on. I'm unsteady, but at least I'm upright.

After waving goodbye to mother and son, Yusuke and I start the blissfully short walk back to Kurama's apartment.

"You didn't tell me," I mumble as we walk.

"Tell you what?" he asks.

"That I was staying with Shiori's son."

"Yeah, sorry," he replies, folding his hands behind his head. "I really just wanted to mess with Kurama."

"Mission accomplished."

"So, what's up with you? You're giving off crazy energy."

"What?" I sputter, eyes wide. "I thought it was suppressed."

"It is," he says, "don't worry about that. No one would recognize it. It wasn't a lot, it was just weird. I've never seen anybody's energy jump around like that."

"I just lost control," I reply, shrugging. "I expended a lot of energy trying to find Shiori this morning, and it's been such a long time…. I'd forgotten how dangerous that is. How dangerous I am."

"Makes sense," he says, and I stare at him, surprised. "Hey, if you don't practice at something, you get rusty, right? And if you try to use a rusty tool, it breaks."

"Huh. That was actually a good analogy," I tell him, smiling. "I'll have to tell Keiko."

"As long as you tell her something good," Yusuke says. "We're kind of...fighting right now."

"Don't worry," I say, my feet starting to drag a little. "You'll work it out."

"Think so?" he asks, slowing down to keep up with me.

"I know so."

"Don't tell me you can see the future now," he says, shaking his head.

"Only sometimes," I reply. He stops walking, but I keep going, knowing if I stop now, I won't be able to keep going.

"What can't you do?" Yusuke asks when he catches up. "Seriously."

"Read minds," I say. "Fly. Hold a serious conversation."

"That last one sounds like me," Yusuke says, smiling a little.

"I think it might be part of your charm."

"Like being all soft and sharp is yours?"

"What does that even mean?"

"When we first met, you were all angry and pointy, like Hiei. Now, you're fluffy and small like...Eikitchi?"

"What is that?" I ask, frowning.

"Kuwabara's cat."

"I'm not a cat," I grumble, crossing my arms. "And I'm not Hiei, either."

"Nah, you're way cuter than he is." The grin he offers is so cheeky I can't even be mad.

"If he hears you say that, do you think he'll be put out?"

"I hope so," Yusuke says. "It'll give him an excuse to come visit more often. That asshole only shows up when there's trouble."

"That explains why he appeared when I showed up."

"Yeah, you're a handful," Yusuke says. "But you know, I'm glad you're around. It's always cool to run into someone who's stronger than me and totally chill."

"Am I?" I ask, still trying to process the idea that he's happy to know me. I've really caused nothing but grief since I stole my way into the lives of these people, and yet they don't seem to mind.

"Totally. I mean, who else can I bitch about anime to? Kuwabara doesn't even watch anymore. He's too busy with school and shit."

"Getting an education is important for a human," I say, shrugging.

"I'm doing fine without one," Yusuke says. "I paid off my ramen cart, and I'm thinking about starting my own shop somewhere nearby."

"Congratulations," I reply. "Allow me to rephrase. Education is important as long as it stands to battle ignorance, not further solidify predisposed views of the world. It doesn't matter where you learn and grow, so long as you continue to do so."

"Riiight," he drawls, and I have a feeling he doesn't quite get it. Oh well. Yusuke doesn't strike me as the kind of person to stagnate. He'll keep learning and growing for as long as he lives. "Well, we made it."

"Just barely," I say, looking up at Kurama's apartment. He would live on the second floor. "Those stairs may kill me yet."

"No sweat. I'll just carry you."

I stare blankly at his back as he crouches down, presumably so I can climb on. "Um, are you sure?"

"Of course," he says. "You look like you weigh maybe 50kg soaking wet. It's fine."

I make a face as I put my arms around his neck. He stands up, and I feel my stomach lurch as he tucks his hands under my knees. This is an experience I know I will never want to repeat as he takes me up the stairs, dropping me just outside the door.

"I'll let Kurama know you made it safely," Yusuke says. "Get some rest. Rusty tools are no excuse for not coming to the festival tomorrow."

"Right," I reply, running a hand over my face. "Festival."

"Here." Yusuke gives me the bag with my ramen in it, smiling. "See you tomorrow."

"Thanks again," I tell him as he leaves. Stepping inside the apartment, I put the ramen in the fridge before heading back to my room and collapsing on my bed. I feel as weak as a newborn kitten, but at least now I can rest.

Really well, apparently. It's dark by the time I wake again, the clock on my bedside table reading midnight. My stomach rumbles, and I sigh, curling up under the covers. Far gone are the days when I would go a week at a time without food and be fine. I'm hungry, and there's ramen waiting for me.

Apparently, it's not the only thing, as Kurama is still up. He's sitting at the kitchen table, poring over papers, a tired expression on his face. When he hears me approach, he looks up, smiling softly.

"I was starting to get worried you'd sleep the next week away. Are you hungry?" He gets to his feet before I have time to stop him, heading for the fridge.

"You don't have to do that," I say. "I can take care of it."

"Don't worry about it," he replies. "I needed an excuse to get away from those documents anyway."

Unable to argue with that, I take a seat at the table, glancing at the papers for a brief moment before looking up at Kurama. He's milling about near the microwave while my food reheats, and I find myself wondering about him. How can I say I have any real feelings for him when I know so little about him? For all I know, he may be a serial killer or something. That seems highly unlikely, but the problem is, I don't know.

"Here you are." I jump when he sets the bowl in front of me, steaming and smelling amazing. If only I could have eaten it when it was first made. I bet it would have been even better.

"Thanks." I take a bite, savoring how good it is as Kurama settles back in to work on his cumbersome documents. After a few minutes of silence, I say, "I didn't know you had a human mother." It comes out heavier than it probably needs to, and I have a feeling he can read exactly what that means. I hadn't wanted it to sound accusing, but here we are.

A beat. Two. "I do," he says, setting down his pen and looking at me. "I also had a human father who passed when I was very young. My mother remarried some years ago, so now I have a stepbrother and father whom I love dearly."

"Right. Shiori's told me about her husband and two sons."

"I'm sure she complains about how unruly her household of men is."

"Regularly," I reply. "For the most part, she really just wants her Shuichi to let himself be mothered more."

"Ah, of course." He smiles wryly, saying, "I don't think it occurs to her that I am 23 and capable of looking after myself."

"She'll always be your mother," I say.

"True. And I will always care immensely for her. However, as mothers are wont to do, she can be overbearing."

"I can only imagine."

"I take it your parents weren't exactly supportive."

"They died a long time ago," I bark, gripping my chopsticks tightly. When I think about the foxes-turned-demons who birthed and reared me, all I see are their panicked expressions as they sell me off to my first jailers. I doubt they even lived long enough to spend that money.

"Well," Kurama says, "if there's anything you wish to know about me, you need only ask. You've been more than generous with details of your own life."

Grateful for the change in subject, I set my chopsticks to the side, not really hungry anymore. "You have human parents, but you exert demon energy."

"That is true." He leans back in his chair, smiling a little. "How many times have I told this story? I am a demon soul in a human's body. I took refuge in Shiori's unborn child after a particularly bad injury, effectively becoming Shuichi Minamino."

"I wasn't aware that was possible," I reply, frowning. "You must have had an immense amount of strength."

"Yes. I was a very powerful demon before I took this form."

"And now you're a powerful demon with a human body."

"True enough," he says.

I yawn, amazed that I can still feel tired despite all the sleeping I had just done. Still, I think I ought to ask him more questions. "What's your favorite food?"

He blinks owlishly at me, as though he hadn't expected that one. "Anything with fish," he replies, recovering quickly. "Sashimi is a particular favorite."

"Fish," I say, thinking. "Do you prefer books or TV?"

"Books," he says. "I find television to be repetitive and boring. And you?"

"TV." When I don't immediately supply a reason, he raises an eyebrow. I sigh, fiddling with my chopsticks. "I dislike reading. It's harder to share a book than a TV show, and I get disappointed at the clichés more in print form. I never expect anything from television, so I'm never disappointed."

"I find that surprising, as you seem to enjoy when we read together."

I can't hide the blush on my face at his words, and I grip my chopsticks tightly before setting them down and putting my hands resolutely in my lap. "That's different. I listen more for the company and less for the content."

"So, you admit you like my company then?" he teases, his eyes alight with amusement.

I could rise to his bait, but instead, I offer sincerity. This feels like a now or never sort of moment, and the idea of "never" is not one I've ever been keen on. "Have I not expressed that before?"

"Not in so many words," he replies, still smiling.

"Well, I very much enjoy being around you," I tell him. "You make me feel like a person and not an object. It's...nice."

"Is that all?" he asks, and I make a face.

"Fishing for compliments?" I tease, and he laughs.

"You've caught me." The grin on his face makes me feel warm all over, and I find myself relieved. If this is what it means to get to know someone, to spend time with them, then I think I like it. It's still terrifying, the thought that this could all be gone in a week, but I refuse to let that fear prevent me from even trying. Not anymore.

We ask questions back and forth, chatting later than we really should. The atmosphere is warm and friendly, and by the time I'm really and properly tired, the last thing I want to do is leave.

"We should sleep," Kurama says, taking my bowl and chopsticks to the sink. "If we're asleep on our feet at the festival, we'll never hear the end of it."

I sigh, saying, "Do you ever hear the end of anything from your friends?"

"You catch on quickly," he replies, walking back toward me. "Oh, speaking of friends." He pulls something out of his pocket that knocks the wind out of me in a heartbeat. "That imp demon, Kenta, gave this to me. I assume it's important."

I take it from him, sighing. "I'd almost completely forgotten." Looking the box over, I frown, carefully choosing my next words. "Next week, I'm going to need some time and some free reign. If you have to send people with me, that's fine."

"Might I ask why?" he says.

"I'll tell you on Sunday," I reply. "It's too complicated for tonight."

"All right, Mei." He reaches out, rustling my hair, and I bat his hand away, narrowing my eyes.

"You sure do want to treat me like a child," I say. "It seems likely I'm older than you, you know."

"Actually, you aren't," he says, surprising me. "And it's not treating you like a child. It's just an excuse to touch you." He lets those words sink in, my face burning as his eyes lock with mine. "Good night." With a wave, he turns and leaves me in the kitchen, gripping a small box as though maybe it will ground me and allow this moment to feel real.

"Good night."

* * *

A/N: This was a bear of a chapter to write, but I hope it wasn't too confusing to read. There are lots of unasked and unanswered questions appearing here, but they'll get to them eventually. For now, a festival! The food! The fireworks! The games! Literally anything could happen.

Thanks for reading!


	12. I'm Here With You

Sitting up late doing paperwork had given Kurama an unfortunate amount of time to think. In just over a week, Mei would reach her thousandth year. With only a few hiccups in the way so far, Kurama couldn't possibly believe this was the roughest things would get. Hisashi was still out there, and there was no way he'd given up on having Mei.

Pulling a small wooden box from his pocket, he stared at it for a long moment before flipping open the lid and taking out what was inside. There was something so incredibly morbid about holding a solid gold replica of an eye. It was cold and hard, but Kurama could just picture plucking it from someone's skull. He'd done it before. Someone had done it to Mei.

When Kenta, the imp demon who'd made no fuss when Kurama took Mei on behalf of Spirit World three weeks ago, had found him at work, Kurama realized there was a very good chance Hisashi knew where he worked. That also meant it was likely he knew where the fox demon lived as well. However, if Kenta was coming to him and not to Mei, perhaps neither of these demons knew Mei was being kept there.

"How's she doing?" Kenta had asked in lieu of a greeting, reaching in his pocket.

"Fine," Kurama had replied. "Can I help you?"

"Just keep helping her." He'd pulled that box out of his pocket, extending it to Kurama. "It's Mei's. I don't recommend looking inside."

Which was exactly what Kurama had done once Kenta was out of sight. Sitting in his kitchen now, he was no less repulsed by it than he was before. What did Mei need a golden eye for? More importantly, how had it survived the fire? Perhaps most important of all, why did he trust Kenta that it actually belonged to Mei? He'd checked it over thoroughly, discovering nothing that could be used to trace it back to himself, and there was nothing suspicious about the eye itself. He would just have to see how she reacted to it to know properly.

Mei was quite a mystery all her own today. From being in the exact right place at the exact right time to her exhaustion and the strange energy signals she'd been giving off, Kurama had a feeling there was something she'd been up to that she hadn't divulged. He would have to ask her at some point. Maybe she could also explain to him how his mother had recognized her in her own skin. He'd been under the impression she'd worn no other than Himeji's since the woman's death, thirty years ago.

The sound of a door opening had him tucking the eye back in its box and the box in his pocket. When Mei stepped into the kitchen, he was once again pretending to pour over documents he hadn't processed a single page of in over an hour. Looking up at her, he felt something tug at his heart. Her hair was sleep-mussed, and her clothing was rumpled, making her look a little the worse for wear. It made him want to hold her in a bad way. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair to rid it of tangles, to rub the sleep from her eyes, and….

Instead of letting his thoughts run away with him, he greeted her, getting to his feet. If he stayed idle much longer, either his thoughts would take a walk in his mouth or in his actions, and neither of those seemed like good ideas right now.

…

Time was kind of funny. Sometimes, it was very very slow, every second stretching on into eternity. Other times, it was faster than a blink, mili-, nano-, picoseconds. Even expressions of time had ceased to make sense to Kai, as he sat in his house, staring into the fire in his hearth. It was fading, the hungry flames having devoured their source of fuel. Extending a hand toward the light, tendrils fell from his fingertips, turning the ash to solid wood once more, as though he'd turned back the hands of time.

When the fire blossomed once more, he saw her talking to another fox. She was laughing, her long, orange hair making Kai absently run his fingers through his own. Gold. It was almost time.

What a funny thing.

…

This might be a kidnapping. I haven't decided yet as Keiko puts the finishing touches on my hair. Somehow, she's managed to get braids along the sides of my head, pulling all of the hair into a deceptively messy bun. All of the messiness is carefully calculated, apparently. After adding a flower hair pin the same shade of pink as the roses on my yukata, I'm done.

"What do you think?" Keiko asks, holding up a hand mirror for me.

The girl staring back looks surprised, like she can't believe it's really her. I take the mirror from Keiko, gently touching one of the braids. It's…. "Amazing."

"You clean up good, kid," Shizuru says, stepping into sandals. Her own hair is braided to one side, no ornaments to be found. She'd said earlier she thought pins made her look too much like a child. I wonder, do I look that way as well? With nearly 1000 years on the humans in this room, I would think I had the most to lose in that way.

"This will be fun," Yukina says, her minty hair hanging down past her shoulders in loose waves. Shizuru had styled the demon's hair and helped Keiko style mine, so we all looked much nicer than we normally did. At least, I think that was the intention.

"You have so much hair," Keiko says, frowning. "I'm worried it might come loose."

"If it does, I'll have lost little," I reply with a shrug.

"Wow, you don't like my taste in hairstyles?" Shizuru asks.

"It's not that," I say. "You have excellent taste. It's only that losing the hairstyle doesn't change the person."

They stare at me like I've grown an extra head, and I ball my hands into fists, shrinking a little. "Have I said something wrong?"

"No, no!" Keiko says, shaking her head. "It's just, I wasn't expecting that."

"For someone capable of changing shapes, it's interesting that you feel that way," Yukina says.

"Even as I wear different skin, that doesn't change the person underneath." I shrug, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Hey, we didn't mean anything bad by it," Shizuru says. "Relax a little, all right?"

I have to resist the urge to rake a hand through my hair, instead pinching the fabric of my sleeve between my thumb and forefinger. "I'm trying."

"Maybe we should get going," Keiko sighs, straightening her sash and picking up a little drawstring bag that she slides around her wrist. "Everybody ready?"

And off we go. I think I would dress traditionally every day if it wouldn't draw attention. There's something comforting to me about all the layers of fabric, even in this summer heat. To be fair, most of my worst memories took place while dressed thusly. It's a wonder I don't dislike it.

"I guess you're still getting used to us," Keiko says as we walk. "You don't clam up so much around Yusuke or Kurama."

"I'm sorry," I say, folding my hands together in front of me. "I am trying. But, it's hard."

"I understand," she says. "You've spent so much time hiding from people. No one's expecting you to open up over night."

"My attempts seem to do as much damage as good."

"Don't be like that," Keiko says. "Yusuke's been in a lot better mood since you started talking to him. Although, he also likes not having to go to Kurama's every day."

I nod, thinking. Am I allowed to inquire about her personal life? It feels so much easier with Yusuke or Kurama, she's right. However, it'll never get easier if I don't try. Relax, right? Open up and just go with it? "How are you two, if I may ask. He said you two were arguing yesterday."

"We're fine," she replies, although her tone claims otherwise. "Just Yusuke being Yusuke."

"Childish and incorrigible?" I ask, and she nods.

"I know we're still young, but sometimes I wish he would be a little more responsible. He just gets up to so much trouble, you know?"

"He seems the type. Like he rushes headfirst into danger without thinking."

"You've got that right. I know he's strong, but I worry about him."

"I've read that's part of being in love. You worry about the other person as often as not, when they aren't around you. You want them safe."

"That's true for me at least," Keiko says. "And...he makes decisions when it really comes down to it. It's just...being with him is exhausting."

It's with this statement that we find ourselves standing across the street from the man in question. Yusuke and Kuwabara are arguing about something, both dressed in plain clothes, while Kurama looks on, wearing a yukata. It's pale gray, and I find my mouth going dry at the sight of him. Warmth pools in the pit of my stomach, and I realize it's been quite some time since I've found any one person so attractive. That's a feeling I can't say I'm ready to deal with just now.

Kurama glances over at us as we cross the road toward them, and when his eyes fall on me, I stumble, almost tripping. His eyes widen, like he's surprised to see me, and then a blush slides across his face before he looks away, back at his friends. Did I...did I imagine that? There's no way.

"Nailed it," Shizuru whispers, winking at me. There's some kind of secret here that I'm not privy to, but I honestly don't mind. If this was part of some plan on the girls' parts to get Kurama to notice me like that, then I shouldn't squander it. His attention on me...is it okay for me to want to pursue it? If I do, then I'm telling myself I'm going to live. That thought scares me so intensely that I almost freeze on the spot, but then I realize Kurama's smiling at me. It's his public smile, his pleasant one, and yet it gives me comfort. _I'm going to live. I will not let the sins of my past and of those of the people around me define my future._

"You guys took forever," Yusuke groans when he stops arguing long enough to notice us. His eyes linger on Keiko, and I wonder at the intense look in his eyes. It feels personal, like I shouldn't be watching. Glancing away, I have to step back or else be crushed by Kuwabara making his way toward Yukina.

"H-hey," he stammers, a blush on his face. "I haven't seen you in a yukata in a while. You look beautiful, my angel."

"Thank you, Kazuma," she replies, her smile so very bright. Another private moment.

"You look lovely as well, Mei," Kurama says, drawing my gaze to his. His green eyes are sparkling, and I find that I can't bear to look away. That may be a first for me. A blush tinges my cheeks, that warmth radiating through me.

I can't help but smile at his words, and I pinch the fabric of my yukata, saying, "The girls picked this out for me. Keiko did my hair."

"I'll have to thank them when they aren't preoccupied," he replies, a wry expression sliding across his face. I laugh, and I find I'm glad for the feeling that accompanies it. Kurama makes things easy that way. The more time I spend with these people, the more I hope to find things easy.

"If I'd known I was going to be a seventh wheel, I would have skipped," Shizuru says, a cigarette in her mouth. Her life force quavers, and I look away to see Kuwabara frowning at his older sister.

"Where's your partner?" Kurama asks.

"Work. As usual. So, if I ditch you guys halfway through, it's because you're too coupley."

"There are only two couples here, Shizuru," I reply.

She raises an eyebrow at me and says, "If you say so, kiddo."

"As though I'm not nearly a thousand years your senior," I grumble, making her laugh.

"If you hang out with the other kids, I'm going to call you one. Get used to it."

"Are you old ladies done yet?" Yusuke asks, drawing our attention back to him. He's holding Keiko's hand, and I wonder if there was some reconciliation on their part that I didn't notice.

"Show some respect," Shizuru snaps. "Mei's so old her bones may snap any minute. Someone ought to carry her."

"Don't touch me," I reply, taking a step back and bumping into Kurama. My body grows warm at the contact, and I look up at him, surprised to see him smiling.

"Need a lift?" he asks, his hands cupping my elbows.

"You're all impossible," I say, stepping away from his touch. "My sneeze could injure all of you, and yet you tease me so."

"Honestly, you make it too easy for them," Keiko says. "Stick with the girls, and we'll teach you how to deal with it."

"That seems like the right idea," I reply, taking a few steps forward. "And if we don't move, I think the festival will happen without us."

"She's right," Yukina says, smiling at Kuwabara who looks absolutely moony. Do all women do that to all men, or is Kuwabara just an exception? "Kazuma, can we get takoyaki?"

"Of course, my darling!" he says, his voice going squeaky on the endearment. Taking her hand, he and Yukina walk past me, and I sigh. Shizuru's right. This is going to be a couples kind of day. As Kurama comes to stand beside me, I look up at him, wondering if I can't add another to the mix.

…

Festivals are loud. It's been a while since I've seen so many people in one space, and I can't say I'm too keen on it. So many stories are screaming at me all at once, and it takes a good five minutes before I've tuned them all out properly. After that, I find it more enjoyable, mostly because my companions are having fun.

Kuwabara and Yukina get takoyaki for all of us, and I must admit, I've rather missed the taste of festival food. I haven't been to one since Himeji was alive, and even then, it wasn't nearly as lively. My new friends don't give me even a second to feel lonely, as there's always someone talking to me or dragging us one way or the other.

We stop by a mask seller, and Yusuke slaps a fox mask over my face. "Looks just like you," he says, cackling.

I reach for an ogre mask and do the same, saying, "The resemblance is uncanny."

"Thanks," he says. "I've been working on my horns."

The seller yells at us to either buy or get lost, so Yusuke buys them both, and I hang mine from my sash instead of wearing it.

"I got Kurama one too," Yusuke says, passing a fox mask to Kurama as well. "Suits you."

"If you say so," Kurama replies. Looking over at me, he slides it over his face, saying, "What do you think?"

It did suit him. I couldn't help but wonder what he would look like with ears and a tail. For some reason, it makes my heart beat faster just to think about it. I still don't know what kind of demon Kurama is, but I find myself wishing it was possible for him to be a fox like me. It would be nice to have someone to share that fate with. Pressing a hand to my chest, I wonder about all those foxes who'd shared their hoshi no tama, their sources of power, with each other. What trust they must have had in their partners. Did it ever work out, or were foxes too inherently devious?

"It does suit you," I tell Kurama, smiling softly. "I may be biased, however."

"Fox girl wants herself a fox boy," Yusuke teases, and I roll my eyes. He's only half wrong. I've my sights set on Kurama, regardless of his demon nature. Being a fox would only make him more attractive. He doesn't really need that on his side, considering how far gone I am already.

Shizuru has wandered off, as she'd claimed she might, so it was just the six of us wandering around. We stop at a shooting gallery game where Yusuke and Kuwabara both try their hands at winning prizes for their ladies. Yusuke manages after about five shots, but Kuwabara is struggling.

"Here," I say, walking over to him. Channeling energy into my fingertips, I nudge him gently, positioning him to aim perfectly. "Try it now."

One shot, and he knocks down the stuffed rabbit he'd been aiming for. "Woo!" he cheers as the man running the game hands it to him and he passes it to Yukina. "Thanks, Mei!"

"Of course," I reply, nodding.

"Ha, Kuwabara needed help from a girl," Yusuke teases.

"You're such a jerk," Keiko says, rolling her eyes.

 _Watch yourself, Yusuke._ Next time he plays a game, he's going to wish he hadn't picked on his friend.

Yukina decides on our next activity, goldfish scooping. No one seems to have any luck with it, but Yusuke finds himself having an exceptionally poor time. For some strange reason, none of the fist will even come close to his scoop. Every time he aims for one, it moves at preternatural speeds as though intentionally dodging his scoop alone.

"What the hell?" Yusuke growls, giving up. "These fish are stupid."

"I think they're rather cute," Yukina says. She sticks her scoop in the water, and one of the fish leaps into it, landing perfectly and resting calmly until she lifts it up. "I caught one!"

"No way," Yusuke sputters. "Why weren't they avoiding you?"

"I don't know," she replies, smiling. "Kazuma, can we keep him?"

"Of course!" Kuwabara says, ever the push-over for his Yukina.

"Let me try this again," Yusuke grumbles as the stall owner puts Yukina's goldfish in a bag for her. Yusuke goes to catch a fish when suddenly, the entire pool makes straight for him. The fish leap out of the water in a giant mass, dive-bombing his scoop and nearly dragging him into the water with them. He releases his destroyed scoop, throwing his hands in the air. "Rigged. Stupid fish." He mumbles some more as he stalks away, Keiko rolling her eyes and following behind.

"That was entertaining," Kurama says, smiling down at me.

"Was it?" I ask, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"He'll be seething for a few days," Kurama replies.

"Wait, you did that, Mei?" Kuwabara asks.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I say, twirling my finger in the air. The fish in the pool start doing circles, and Kurama laughs. My heart beats a little faster at the sound.

"That was incredible," Yukina says. "Thank you for my fish."

I bow a little, saying, "Yusuke should learn not to underestimate women, I think."

"Considering who his fiancée is, he ought to know better," Kuwabara says, shrugging. "Oh, hey, what time are the fireworks supposed to start?"

"Eight o'clock," Kurama says. "Soon."

It had been getting darker and darker without us even realizing. The crowd was thinning as well, everyone already on the search for a good spot to watch the main event.

"Shoot, I'm gonna look for a bathroom real quick," Kuwabara says.

"I'll come with you," Yukina says. "If we don't find you before the fireworks start, let's meet up after, okay?"

"Sounds good," Kurama replies, nodding his head. They leave, and then it's just the two of us. "Let's see if we can't scout out a good spot."

"Mm." _I don't even know what to do now. We're alone._ A more confident person might have taken his hand, but instead, I walk a few steps behind, just watching him, wondering what I can do to make him look at me.

I'm so focused on Kurama that I'm not paying attention to my surroundings, so when I bump into someone, I almost fall over. "Sorry," I stammer.

The woman I'd collided with gives me a smile, her impossibly blue eyes difficult to look at. "No, it's my fault. I apologize." She bows politely, and I do the same, suddenly feeling very formal. Her life energy is vigorous, almost like a flame, and when she turns away from me, her dark red hair flashes in the low light, making her appear to be on fire. The image fades, and I watch her go, feeling...forlorn? There's a story in her that slips through my mind too fast to process, and once I lose sight of her, it's gone, as though it was never there.

"Mei?" I jump at the sound of Kurama's voice. He looks concerned, and his gaze turns to where mine had been trained only seconds ago. "Is something wrong?"

"N-no," I reply, reaching for the sleeve of his yukata. For some reason, I don't want him looking for that strange girl. I have this feeling that if he finds her, he's going to disappear, and I couldn't bear that. What a stupid feeling.

"Come on," he says, sliding his hand into mine. "I'm here with you. Everything's all right."

His words are comforting, and his touch makes me want to stay by his side. As we wade through the crowd, thoughts of that strange girl fade, replaced with the knowledge that _he's here with me. Everything will be all right._

We find a spot on the bank of a river, not too crowded, and perfect for viewing the fireworks, which are due to start any minute now. Looking up at the dark night sky, I sigh, wishing this moment could last longer.

"Have you been enjoying yourself?" Kurama asks.

"Mm-hm." I place a hand on the side of my neck, saying, "It's kind of scary, but I think I could get used to a life like this. Simple. You know?"

"I do," he says, and the look on his face steals my breath. His eyes are sparkling with an emotion I can't read, not that that's new. What is new, however, is the touch of his hand on my chin as he tilts my face up and leans in, very very slowly, to kiss me.

His lips are warm, gentle, but that doesn't stop the rush of blood throughout my body, the fuzziness in my head, or the desire for more when he pulls away. It's only a matter of centimeters, but it's far enough away that our eyes can meet. Whatever he sees in mine must be encouragement enough because he leans in again. Just before our lips touch, there's a whistle and a pop. The fireworks have started.

Kurama's hand falls away from my face, and the moment is broken as we both turn to look up at the night sky. Vibrant colors and the pops, whistles, and crackles of the fiery flowers bloom among the stars, much like the warmth that blooms in my chest. I stand a little closer to Kurama who squeezes my hand tightly, taking every bit as much of my attention as the fireworks.

I don't want to think, to even breathe for fear that one wrong move might destroy this perfect sense of peace I've finally found. _Please, whatever gods might be listening. Don't take this from me._

…

Once the fireworks end, we meet up with the others and make our way home. Kurama and I don't talk about our kiss, even once we're alone. However, once we get back to the house and he bids me goodnight, he caresses my cheek, sending my heart skittering. It's hard to sleep after that, but eventually my exhaustion catches up with me. I have no dreams, which I don't mind. Reality has felt dreamlike enough lately that anything else would have felt greedy.

When I find Kurama in the kitchen the next morning, he's still wearing pajamas, a loose T-shirt and sleep pants. He looks drowsy, but when he sees me, a sleepy smile spreads across his face that does a sufficient job of burning off what's left of my own grogginess.

"Good morning, Mei. Did you sleep well?"

I nod, unable to find words. Thoughts of last night come racing in, and I bite my lip, sitting down at the dining room table. A few minutes later, Kurama deposits a steaming bowl of miso soup in front of me. He sits across from me, and we stare at each other for a long moment. After letting out a sigh, he runs a hand over his face, looking at me with pleading eyes. The expression catches me so off guard that I drop the spoon I'd just picked up in my soup, causing a few drops to splatter.

"Are you...okay?" I ask.

"No, not really," he replies, sounding almost like he's in pain.

"What is it?" Now I'm really worried.

"Mei…. I really like you." The look on his face leaves no room for misunderstanding. He means that in a romantic way.

"I really like you too," I tell him, still uncertain about his tone and his expression.

"More than anything, I'd like to feel comfortable starting a relationship with you." He pauses, and I realize there's a "but" in here somewhere. "However, as long as you're trapped here with me, I can't, in good conscience."

"I'm not trapped," I say, realizing where the crux of his dilemma now lies. "Kurama, my falling for you has nothing to do with the power you hold over me."

"How can you be sure?" he asks. "How can you know that I haven't been treating you the way I have because it's what I've been told to do?"

"Because you seem like you enjoy listening to the toddler king as much as I do," I reply, making him laugh weakly. "Because I know your mother didn't raise you to treat people as play things. Because I've given you more grief than any one person should have to bear, and you've been unfalteringly patient and real with me. I do not trust easily."

"I know," Kurama says. "And I know that your feelings for me are genuine. Even so...until this week is over, I think we should wait."

"If it will make you feel better about it," I say, nodding. "I've been alone for so long. What's another week?"

He lets out a sigh, saying, "When that time is up, I assure you, you'll have more of me than you can bear."

For some reason, the way he says that makes my face burn and my chest tighten. "I'll be waiting."

"Good." The smile on his face is so genuine that my resolve starts to waver just the slightest bit. Can I really refrain from touching this man, knowing that our feelings are the same?

"This is going to be a really long week," I say.

"If I thought I could stay away to make things easier, I would," he replies. "But I don't think I could stand not being around you at this point."

"I wouldn't like that either," I say. "We can just...try to keep things as before?"

He smiles wryly, making my heart flip. "We can certainly try." Picking up his spoon, he makes a face. "Let's try to eat before this gets much colder."

"Right." We tuck in at last, and I find myself relishing every bite, happier than I've been in ages. A little voice in my head tells me there's no way this can last, but I push it aside, refusing to let it ruin this for me. Even if my life ends in a week, at least I'll have had these moments.

"Oh, you didn't tell me your mother had True Sight," I say, making Kurama freeze mid-bite.

"True Sight?" he asks, frowning.

"She can see through demons," I say. "Or rather, she can tell when people aren't wearing their proper skins. She probably also has some awareness of the demons around her, even if she doesn't know exactly what they are."

"That's…." He trails off, looking concerned. "I had no idea. How do you know this?"

"She knew who I was the other day. She's never seen the real me before. Or I guess, she's never seen anyone other than me."

"I'm not sure how I feel about this," Kurama says.

"Well, she's never complained about it, so I can't say she minds. But maybe you should talk to her about it. She might be scared."

"Maybe I should," he replies, sighing. He finishes his soup, and I down the rest of mine so he can take them to the sink. I wipe down the table, cleaning up the miso splatters I'd made earlier as he says, "Will you tell me what it was you wanted time for this coming week?"

It takes me a second to realize what he's talking about. "Oh, right. I've been collecting these items. There are nine of them total, one for every hundred years I've been alive. They're stashed around Living and Demon Worlds. I need them all for when I change."

"And it's safe to assume that eye is one of them?" I nod, and he says, "Why an eye?"

"For me, these items represent things that were taken from me." I shrug, waving a hand in front of my face, drawing attention to the different shades of my eyes. "I need them all in one place in order to change properly."

"How do you know that?" he asks, frowning.

"I saw it once." I shrug, and he raises an eyebrow. "Sometimes, I can see the future," I offer.

"That makes things much clearer," he says, although he doesn't look convinced. "Is that how you knew where my mother would be when you saved her?"

"It is," I say. "All I saw was the car approaching, so I knew there would be a chance to save her if I could find her. I used so much of my energy doing so that it messed me up for the rest of the day."

"Right." He dries his hands, having finished washing our breakfast dishes. Turning to lean on the counter, he looks at me like he's trying to solve a puzzle. "So, this week, we have to gather these items. You have one, so there are eight left?"

"That's correct," I say.

"I'll have to ask Koenma, but if you need these, I can't see a reason for him to say no. We may just have to accompany you, but between Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, and myself, I think we can manage in time."

"Hiei?" I frown. "I can't imagine he would help me."

"I can't imagine I'll give him much of a choice," Kurama replies, smiling. "Leave him to me."

"If you insist," I say.

"I have some things I want to get done today, so I'll add visiting Koenma to my list. Will you be all right here by yourself?"

"Nothing new. Don't worry about me."

"Constantly," he says, making me raise an eyebrow. "Less lately. But you're always somewhere in my mind."

"That would be charming if not for the idea that I stress you out."

"Unequivocally." He's grinning now, and I know he's teasing me. Walking over to him, I press a finger to his chest, looking up into his eyes. The smile has fallen from his face, and I step away, heading into the living room.

"Go do what you need to do. I'll be here."

I'm rewarded by the slightly breathless way he says, "R-right. See you later."

"Goodbye."

Kurama leaves, and I settle down onto the couch, flipping on the TV. There's nothing on, as per usual, but maybe that's a good thing. I could use some mind-numbing.

Time passes. I don't know just how long. During a commercial break, a tremor races up my spine, and I get to my feet, looking around. There's no one here. It's just me. Even so, I sense someone else's energy. Something isn't right. Slowly, I make my way out of the living room and into the hallway leading to the bedrooms.

Sitting in the middle of the hallway is a swirling mass of gold energy. As I stare at it, it begins to take the shape of a portal. I'm both entranced and repulsed in equal measure, something pulling me toward it against my will. My footsteps are slow, methodical, unstoppable. There's a brief second of wavering on the edge of the portal and then I'm through to the other side.

* * *

A/N: Whoa, guys, stuff is HAPPENING. I honestly couldn't believe it when I was writing, but it only took 12 chapters to get to a kiss! *side-eyes A Hand to Hold* Flustered Kurama is one of my all-time favorite things to write, and I wish I had more occasion to do so.

Also, crazy thought, this is really close to the end. Am I going to finish a story? (Yes, I am, I would never leave a story hanging when I'm this far in.)

Thanks to everyone who's reading, and a special thanks to **Katsip12, YukinaBlueRose,** and **AmericanNidiot** for the reviews!


	13. Out of Time

Kurama couldn't stop thinking about Mei. Their kiss from the night before had been surprisingly spur of the moment of him, but he hadn't regretted it. Nor had he regretted confessing his feelings this morning. Her reply in kind had made him happier than he knew what to do with. In a week, they could take a stab at a relationship. Just a week. It seemed unfathomable to him that he'd gone from tolerating, pitying, and caretaking to enjoying her presence, craving it almost, and wanting things from her that he'd never wanted from anyone else before.

Namely, he wanted to give her reasons to smile. She had the sweetest smile, like she wasn't sure it belonged on her face, but she was willing to give it a try.

When Jorge let Kurama into Koenma's office, it was to find the child king buried under a pile of papers, fast asleep. Botan was at his side, nodding off in a chair, drooling just a little.

"Sorry," Jorge said, rubbing his hands together. "I didn't know they were sleeping."

"It's quite all right," Kurama replied. "Thank you." Jorge bowed, shooting one last furtive look at his napping employer before leaving the fox demon alone. Once the door was closed behind the ogre, Kurama walked across the room to Koenma's desk, rapping his knuckles against the top. The sound was muffled by the countless papers, and he sighed.

"Any would-be assassin could have come and gone by now," he muttered, picking up a piece of paper. He glanced over it, frowning when he saw "Megami" written neatly along the top. Upon closer inspection, many of the documents scattered hither and thither had that word on them. They appeared to be various bits of information about Mei, and Kurama's lip curled in distaste. He understood that it was Koenma's job to keep tabs on dangerous demons, but somehow, it felt rude to pry without her consent.

No longer feeling the need to be polite, Kurama reached over, pulling Koenma's pacifier from his mouth. The toddler king sat up immediately, his eyes wide in anger.

"Hey, give that back!" he whined, snatching it from Kurama. "I wasn't sleeping." He glared over at Botan, shouting, "Botan, wake up!"

"Five more minutes," she mumbled, nearly falling out of her chair when Koenma kicked the arm of it. "W-wait, I'm awake! Yes, sir!" She leapt to her feet, snapping a salute. When her eyes met Kurama's, she blushed, looking away. "S-sorry, sir. I hadn't meant to fall asleep."

"That's all right. It happens." Kurama narrowed his eyes at the toddler king who squirmed under that gaze. "Fine, I fell asleep too. Happy?"

"As I can be." Kurama set the paper in his hand on top of the pile, saying, "Research?"

"Unfortunately. Mei's history is so long and...colorful. There are few living witnesses to the things she's suffered, but what I have managed to compile is disgusting to say the least."

"Is this all necessary?" Kurama asked.

"Imperative," Koenma replied. "I'm hoping this research will reveal more details about her character and her motives, just in case we end up on her bad side."

"So you can destroy her if the need arises." Kurama balled his hands into fists, willing his temper to cool. Losing control of his tightly regulated emotions would win him nothing, and he was here to negotiate, yet again.

"I know you're all fond of her, but I have to be prepared for everything."

"Understood."

Koenma sighed, picking up one of the papers in front of him before passing it to Botan. The reaper added it to a small stack on the floor before Koenma said, "Did you need something? No one ever comes just to visit anymore."

"Would you have time if we did?" Kurama asked. Koenma narrowed his eyes, and the fox shrugged. "I need to request permission for Mei to have free roam next week."

"For what purpose?"

Kurama explained about the items Mei had to find, adding, "If we accompany her, I can't foresee it being a problem."

"There's nothing in my research about this," Koenma grumbled, looking irritated. "You really think we can trust her not to run off?"

"She hasn't so far."

As the words were leaving his mouth, his pocket grew warm. Frowning, he reached inside, pulling out a sachet much like what Mei wore around her neck for tracking purposes. It was glowing and growing hotter by the second.

"Isn't that-"

"Something's wrong," Kurama said, locking eyes with Koenma. "She's in trouble."

…

I don't know where I am, but when the sachet I have tucked in my shirt starts growing warm, I wince, pulling it out and staring at it. It's emitting light, and I hold it up, using it to light the dark world I've stepped into. It looks like a forest, but something feels off.

Turning around, I realize the portal I'd stepped through has vanished. I don't think I'm coming back the way I've come. My first thought, standing in the darkness, is that Hisashi has found me. My second, more rational thought concludes that that isn't possible. Boss isn't strong enough to break through Kurama's protections, and he doesn't know where I've been staying. That being said, whoever did pull me here is stronger than Kurama, which makes me think that rescue might be difficult at best.

A popping sound catches my attention, and I turn to find a golden ball of fire floating toward me out of the trees. It bobs up and down when it knows I've seen it before starting to retreat. It stops after a few feet, as though it's waiting for me. After casting my gaze around to find nothing but thin black trees, I nod to the wisp-it looks a lot like kitsunebi-tucking the warm sachet back under the collar of my shirt.

"Lead the way."

It does just that, moving at a slow, leisurely pace, providing just enough light that I can follow it but not enough for me to see much that's around me. The ground beneath my feet is pale dirt, a preternaturally smooth path for what appears to be an empty forest. There are no sounds of life anywhere, which is disconcerting. Reaching out with my energy, I realize there are no _signs_ of life either. Even the trees don't give off anything. Looking up at what should be the sky, I see there aren't any clouds or stars, just darkness.

If this is an illusion, it's not a very good one. It's like the creator forgot the most important parts to make it believable. Or maybe that isn't their goal. Maybe….

The ball of fire in front of me flares up, and I wince at the brightness. _Impatient._

"You've set the pace," I remind it. It bobs, almost indignantly, before zipping off. I chase after it, feeling the air lift my hair, the blood pumping through my veins. Something about running in a forest reminds me of simpler days, when all I had to be was a regular fox. Things were much easier back then.

I see the end of the tree line ahead, and as I leap past it, a tremor races through my body, and my ears and one tail appear. They won't go away, no matter how much I try, so I give up, instead taking in the small cottage in front of me. It's made of logs, with a stone chimney puffing away. However, where the smoke would normally have dissipated into the air, instead it disappears entirely. The windows in the front of the cottage don't show any sign that there are lights on inside, but I have a feeling someone's waiting for me, even if I can't sense their life force.

The little ball of fire flits through the door, and I follow it, pressing a hand against the wood grains of the door. There's no trace that this was ever alive, further adding credence to the idea that this must be an illusion. But why? When I open the door and step inside, the fireball is nowhere in sight. Instead, I'm greeted by a cheerful fire in a hearth that looks like it's been recently swept. There's a worn rug under my feet, and off to one side of the room is a low wooden table upon which sits a pot of tea and a steaming tea cup. On the other side of the room is a very small kitchen, just a stove top, a few feet of counter space, and a couple of cabinets.

I tap a toe on the ground, crossing my arms as I stand here, wondering what to do next. The fire crackles, and I walk over to it, holding up my hands to feel its warmth. The flames flicker and start to die, but when I pull back, they return to their previous vigor. After testing this a few times, I reach out, intending to touch the logs. What happens instead is the fireplace disappears, replaced with a dark staircase and the fire ball bobbing up and down in front of me.

"Should I be afraid?" I ask it, but it doesn't respond. I hadn't expected it to. Running a hand over my ears, I look behind me at that tea cup, still steaming like it was just poured, before I step down into the darkness.

The stairs are made of stone, as are the walls, and there are no lights to speak of, save for the golden ball of fire before me. Something tells me this is going to be a long walk, but I can't say I mind. Who knows what's waiting for me at the end? Despite the uncertainty, I feel no fear as I proceed. Only curiosity. Something went to a lot of trouble to get me here.

The bottom of the stairs comes sooner than I'd thought it would, and when I reach it, the room I step into is bright enough that I have to squint. There are dozens of these golden lights lining the walls, hanging in the air, just generally existing and obscuring my vision even more. It takes a few seconds for my eyes to adjust, but when they finally do, I have to rub them to make sure I'm not dreaming.

At the far end of the room, maybe fifty yards from me, is a small stone staircase, no more than five or six steps high, crowned by a dais. On top of that dais is a large stone throne. And on top of that...a golden kitsune. Suddenly, I recognize this room as the one from the vision of the future I'd had what feels like ages ago. How had I forgotten that I was supposed to meet the man before me?

I approach slowly, the walk seeming endless, stopping a few feet from the base of the stairs. Looking up at the man before me, I swallow hard, trying to take him in. His hair, eyes, and the fur of his ears and nine tails are all golden, the kimono he's wearing a dull grey color. He has his long hair tied back with string and pulled over one shoulder, and when he looks down at me, it slides down to rest behind him.

We stay there in silence, neither of us speaking for what seems like ages. I don't want to be the one to break this. He brought me here, and he owes me an explanation. For centuries, I'd believed that I was alone in this world, that golden kitsune never reached their 1000th year. Before me is living proof that I'm wrong and I think I deserve an explanation.

When he finally speaks, his voice is light and soft, but slow as though he's not used to forming sentences aloud. "Megami."

"Mei," I reply, and a smile meanders its way across his face.

"Call me Kai then," he says, and I nod, not offering anything more. "Welcome." Still, I don't speak, but that smile doesn't leave. "I've brought you here so you might know I exist. And so I may offer you something."

"I don't want anything," I tell him. _And why now? Why didn't you reveal yourself when I actually needed help?_ This, I keep to myself. I will not let this man see how hurt I am right now.

"Not even the promise of your thousandth year?"

My blood runs cold at his words, and I feel my tails whip behind me. When all eight of them came out I don't know, but much like with my ears earlier, I can't put them away. I refuse to ask what he means, folding back in on myself as though by reverting, I will be safer somehow.

"I've pulled you out of time to bring you here, Mei," Kai says, getting to his feet and holding out his hands as though to encompass the entirety of time and space. "In this world, a golden fox can exist without food or water, untouchable by those on the outside. Here, one need only be."

What is he talking about? To be pulled out of time?

"No one can come here without my permission, and I can show you how to create a space like this as well. You can forge a place of your own where no one will expect anything of you. No more fighting to survive, always watching your back, and never feeling safe in your own skin."

What would that be like, I wonder. No pressure, no expectations. No fear of Hisashi lurking around every corner. No demons murdering the people I care about to get to me. That sounds...nice.

 _No Kurama._ Oh. That's right. No Kurama in a place like this. No Yusuke, Kuwabara, or Keiko. No Shizuru, Botan, or Yukina. No Shiori. All of the bonds I've made in the past month would just cease to be. Even the person I've become in all that time would disappear. I could survive, sure, but would such a life even be living?

"No," I say, clasping my hands together and looking up at him. "Maybe a month ago I would have agreed without hesitation. But...no."

"You're certain? This is your only chance. I will not open another portal once you leave."

Am I certain? Is this really something I can afford to pass up? I give him a small smile, saying, "I am certain. Thank you for the offer, but there are people waiting for me to return."

"Yes." He nods, raising a hand, and the silence of the chamber is broken by the sound of footsteps. I turn, frowning as a silver kitsune approaches, his long, straight hair and fur pure white. He's only got three tails, and I wonder what he must have done to get the other six taken away. His gaze is sharp on me, golden eyes sizing me up in a way that is somehow both familiar and strange. He's dressed in a white fighter's garb, and even the way he moves is predatory, like he's prepared to fight at a moment's notice.

When he stops beside me, he lets out a sigh, and there's something once again both strange and familiar in the way he moves. My heart starts to beat faster, and I look from him to Kai, assuming he holds the answer as to why this other fox is here.

"Welcome, Kurama."

I stiffen at Kai's words, my gaze snapping to the demon beside me who replies, in a low, smooth voice, "You must be the one who brought us here."

"I am," Kai replies. "I wanted to see the reason Mei would refuse me in the flesh."

"You knew?" I ask, tearing my eyes from the impossibility at my side to look back at Kai.

"I saw this moment, much like you did," Kai replies, shrugging. "Even so, I knew I had to ask."

My head is spinning from all the new information I'm trying to process, but I keep my tone neutral. "This world is your illusion, isn't it?" I ask. He nods, so I continue. "Is that why I couldn't keep my tails and ears hidden?"

"No other illusions can exist in my own."

"That doesn't explain why your illusion forced me into my demon form," the demon at my side replies. Is it really Kurama? I steal a glance at him, and my pulse races. If his human form is beautiful, his fox form is indescribable. That lean, slender frame, his muscular arms and sharp nails, long, silky-looking hair. This man screams dangerous, something I've only caught hints of from the human Kurama. I can't help but feel drawn to him. Maybe it's the ears.

"That was mostly for my amusement."

"Very humorous."

"You didn't seem keen on revealing it yourself, so I expedited the process."

"What I choose to do with my life is no business of yours, Kami. I only request that you return Mei and me to my home."

"You are not prisoners," Kai replies, gesturing toward the stairs. "You need only walk through my front door, and you'll be returned to your own time and space."

"Are you ready to leave, Mei?" The silver fox asks, and I force myself to look up into those golden eyes, my stomach flipping.

"Kurama?" He smiles, the soft expression transforming him from fearsome predator to something closer to my friend. It does nothing to calm my racing heart.

"I promise we'll talk when we get back, okay?" He extends his hand to me, but before I take it, I turn to face Kai one last time.

"Thank you for everything," I tell him, bowing low.

"I have done nothing," he replies, sinking back onto his throne.

"You've shown me it's possible to live," I say, smiling. "I am glad to know you exist. If you ever wish to rejoin time, please, come and find me."

He smirks, pulling his long, golden hair over his shoulder. "If that time comes, I will do just that, Megami."

"Kami."

I take Kurama's hand, noting that he's much taller in this body than in his human one. His hand is also larger, completely encompassing my own. I can feel his long, sharp nails resting gently against my skin, and my mind immediately jumps to things that make me blush. _What is wrong with you? You've seen other fox demons before_. Yes, but this one is mine.

We don't speak as we make our way up the stairs, but his grip on me doesn't falter. It's dark, not so much as a kitsunebi to light the way this time. Even so, I'm not afraid. Kurama is here, and we'll be going home. I hope that doesn't mean I'll never get to see this side of him again. I'm sure there's a reason he kept it to himself, and I'm not upset about that. There are many things about me that he doesn't know, after all.

The room at the top of the stairs is exactly as I left it, even down to the steaming tea cup, which shouldn't surprise me. A golden fox's illusion could certainly manage something as small as that. This entire world is so quiet, exactly the kind of place a being that can feel the machinations of life itself would seek solace in. I can understand why Kai has created it, and I cast no judgment upon him. Maybe I would have ended up the same way if I hadn't fallen in with the man before me.

Kurama pulls open the door to the front of the house, revealing a swirling mass of energy like the portal that brought me here. I expect him to pull us through, but instead, he turns to face me, still holding fast to my hand. He regards me for a long moment, and I stare back, frowning.

"What was it that you refused?" he asks, that low voice making me feel warm so that it takes me a second to realize what he's asking.

"He wanted to teach me to create a space like this of my own where no one could reach me."

"And you told him no."

"I have too many reasons to live," I reply.

He nods his head, and before I have time to react, pulls on my hand, yanking me toward him. His arms come around me, holding me close to him as we fall backward into the portal. _He's so warm._ That's the only thing that crosses my mind as I return his embrace, falling through and through until we land with a _thud_...on his living room floor.

"Kurama! Mei!" The sound of Botan's panicked voice reaches me, but when I try to extricate myself from Kurama's arms, he only holds me tighter.

"I was so afraid," he whispers in my ear, making me want to stay here even longer. If only we didn't appear to have an audience. I can't see them, but I can sense a full house. He releases me, and we both sit up, Kurama reverting to his human body and me putting away all but one tail.

"You rescued her!" Botan cries, kneeling down beside me and taking my hands in hers. The gesture is sudden and unexpected, but all I can do in response is stare blankly at her. "Are you all right? You appear to be in one piece."

"I am," I reply, noting the other people in the room: Koenma in his teenage body, Yusuke, Hiei, and Kuwabara. _The gang is all here._

"The hell happened?" Yusuke asks. "We were thinking if Kurama didn't come back, Kuwabara might have to bust out his dimension sword."

 _Dimension sword?_ I frown, looking at Kurama who shakes his head. "Later." Everything later.

"Well?" Koenma says, clearly unhappy. His arms are crossed, and he appears tense. Nothing I say will assuage his feelings, but I have to start somewhere. I explain what happened, leaving out the part where Kai offered to teach me what he knew. The last thing I want is for Koenma to think it might be possible to find my predecessor. Even if I had learned to create a space of my own, I don't think a fox in hiding would be found unless it wanted to be.

"So, this Kai guy just wanted to meet you?" Kuwabara asks, frowning.

I nod, refusing to give away anything more than what they need to know.

"All I need are two golden foxes running rampant," Koenma grumbles, sucking furiously on his pacifier. It's strange to see in the mouth of a young adult.

"Mei isn't running rampant," Kurama retorts, narrowing his eyes. "She is not responsible for the actions of a fox with no interest in rejoining our world."

Koenma doesn't say anything for a long moment, but his discomfort is plain as day. He does not like me. It seems possible he's even afraid of me and the uncertainties I present. I have no desire to put his mind at ease. If he cannot learn to trust me, then I will not seek to gain it.

"Have you decided on what we talked about earlier?" Kurama asks, making Koenma flinch.

"Y-yes," he says, frowning. "I have. As long as she has someone with her, I will allow it."

"Allow what?" Yusuke asks.

"Mei has items she must retrieve before the week is up," Kurama says, looking at each of his friends, one by one. "She will need one of us to accompany her."

"I'm game," Yusuke says. "Where are these things?"

"Most are in Demon World," I say, shrugging. "They will likely be difficult to reach."

"You mean I might get some action? Finally. Things have been too slow lately."

"You're always itching to fight, Urameshi," Kuwabara says, shaking his head. "I'm here if you need me, Mei."

"I thank you." I bow as best I can while still sitting.

"Hiei, if you could assist us, I would be grateful," Kurama says, making the short, spiky-haired demon bristle a little.

"This isn't my problem," Hiei barks. He gets to his feet, making to leave.

"Don't you want to see a golden fox in the flesh?" Kurama asks, raising an eyebrow at his friend. "I'm sure Mei would be willing to demonstrate the extent of her powers for you again if you wanted to test yourself."

Hiei's eyes flick toward me, and I nod, making him frown. "Fine. I will be here if necessary."

"Thank you, Hiei."

"Tch."

Kurama, Hiei, Kuwabara, and Yusuke came up with a schedule, a way in which two items could be retrieved in a day, giving us a single day of buffer before my 1000th birthday. Koenma agreed to it, and I stayed silent, allowing the world to move around me. Today had been far too tumultuous a day for me to want to worry about tedious things like this. Had I been left to my own devices, I would have done this alone, in one day. However, I can't say I mind having cohorts to travel with me.

"All right, then I'll take first shift," Yusuke says, smiling. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, okay Mei?"

"Mm." I nod at his words. _This will work._ Something tells me that retrieving the items will be the easy part. Boss...Hisashi is out there somewhere, waiting. He must be. Therefore, I too will be waiting for something to go wrong.

* * *

A/N: The closer I get to the end of this story, the less I believe it. It's been a long time since I last finished a fic. Anyway, I ramble. Please, stay safe out there, guys. Thanks for reading!


	14. Can I Call You Mei?

**Trigger warnings: Minor character death and implied sexual violence. Just a heads up, especially since times are so rough. Take care of yourselves.**

* * *

Yusuke had not been prepared for the way Mei fought. She'd clearly been going easy on Hiei or maybe she just hadn't felt like fighting him for real. If she had, maybe their diminutive friend would have been in pieces like the small demons that had tried to stop them from entering their territory.

Mei wiped the blood on her face with the back of her hand, frowning at the red. "I didn't mean to do that," she said, looking up at him. She was blood-splattered, her pupils narrowed like a cat's. "I'm sorry."

"I don't think they can hear you," Yusuke said, shrugging. "So, uh, where's this sandal you're looking for?"

"Buried here," she replied, tapping her foot on the dirt beneath her. She knelt on the ground and began to dig at the earth with her bare hands, making Yusuke wince.

"Didn't know we should have brought a shovel." He got down on his knees, helping her clear away the ground, ripping up roots and chucking debris behind him. After a minute or so, his hand struck something hard. He cleared the dirt away, saying, "That it?"

"Mm-hm." She pulled up the sandal, wincing as the strap fell off, landing in the hole they'd uncovered. Her expression was distant, and Yusuke wondered what kinds of things she was thinking.

Never the one to worry too much before acting, Yusuke said, "What's up?" She blinked at him, clearly surprised. "You look like you're somewhere else."

"Ah. Just...remembering." She paused, and just when Yusuke thought she wouldn't continue, she said, "The last time I wore this sandal, I had both my eyes."

"Shit, yeah?" Yusuke asked. "When was that?"

"Almost 900 years ago." She clutched the sandal tightly in one hand as she reached for the strap with the other. "If you're ready, we can move on to the next one."

"Are _you_ ready?" Yusuke asked, frowning.

She looked down at the sandal again before sighing. "I don't have a choice. Let's keep going. If I stop now…."

"I get it," Yusuke said, putting his hand on top of her head, between her fox ears. "Let's get moving."

…

When Kurama came home from work on Monday, Mei was sitting on the couch in the dark, something clutched in her hands. The air felt heavy, charged with something he couldn't grasp. What he did know was that he needed to approach with caution.

He made his way over to Mei, kneeling in front of her. She was still staring at what was in her hands, hadn't even noticed him. He reached out, resting his hands gently on hers. She looked up slowly, her eyes focusing on him at last.

"Kurama?" Her voice sounded small, and she was trembling.

"Did something happen?" he asked, rubbing his thumbs back and forth where they were touching her hands.

"Not really," she whispered, loosening her grip on what she was holding. The items fell, but Kurama caught them before they hit the floor. "Thinking. Remembering."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. He hadn't looked at what he was holding, but the curiosity was strong. Stronger, though, was the knowledge that these were likely the things she had recovered from her trip with Yusuke. They were guaranteed to be very personal, and if she didn't want to share that with him, then she did not need to.

She reached for his left hand, slowly turning his palm over so that what he was holding was facing the ceiling. "A sandal," she said. "My dignity."

"Dignity?"

"When I became a kitsune, the golden streak appeared." Gingerly, she touched the bit of her hair that shone gold amidst all the orange. "I didn't understand what it meant until the first time I was sold." She shrugged, flipping up his other hand and revealing a small coin. "That was when I realized my life was not my own. My opportunities...were very limited."

Kurama looked down at the worn sandal with the broken strap, a cold sort of fury burning low in his stomach. The coin was so small and insignificant to anyone else, but to Mei, it had represented a world she could never reach. That made Kurama unbearably furious. Before she'd even gotten the chance to really walk, she'd been crippled so she never could.

But Mei didn't need his anger. Her entire life had been full of angry people, and she'd likely been angry enough for herself. What she needed was kindness, friendship, and love. Kurama had every intention of giving her all these things, and more.

"We should have a place for these," Kurama said, placing the sandal and the coin in her hands and then getting to his feet. "Where are you keeping them now?"

"Wrapped in the kimono I wore during that festival," she said. "Under my bed."

"All right. Then, let's do this." He turned away from her, pulling a seed out of his hair. Placing it on the ground, he extended his hand and stepped back as it started to bloom, green vines forming into a small chest. It was beautiful, but simple with buds peeking out from between the leaves. "What do you think?" he asked, looking down at her. When he saw the tears in her eyes, he froze in horror. "Mei?"

She stood slowly but unsteadily, and Kurama had to resist stepping forward to catch her before she righted herself. Swiping at her eyes, she knelt down and opened the lid of the chest, peering inside. After a moment or two, she set the sandal and the coin in before closing it and looking up at him.

"Thank you, Kurama," she whispered, balling her hands into fists. "For listening. And for this."

"I'm here for you, Mei," he said. "For as long as you need me, I'm here."

"Mm." She nodded, sniffling hard. "I'm grateful.

...

Hiei held up a locket, a disdainful expression on his face. "Is this it? Are we done?" His irritation was almost tangible as he and Mei stood in the middle of a forest clearing. It was quiet, something Hiei wasn't keen on. He had been hoping, since they were in Demon World, that there might be fighting. Yusuke had told him about Mei's actions the day before, and he had been more than curious to see what a feral fox might do.

Instead, there was nothing. Just an old, burnt-out building and a tarnished locket under a floorboard that crumpled to ash when he touched it. Disgusting. Not to mention, the fox had been essentially comatose all day, a walking zombie. She looked a little sick, in all honesty. It would be a pity for her to die mere days before she turned.

 _Was Kurama this moody before he changed?_

Mei took the locket from Hiei, her movements infuriatingly slow. She stared at the necklace like she'd never seen it before, and Hiei wanted to scream at her to do something, anything other than give the world that dead look she was wearing.

Suddenly, her ears twitched, her head snapping up just as Hiei realized they were surrounded. He'd been so focused on being angry at this girl that he'd missed the dozen or so high-level energy signals approaching. Grabbing her by the wrist, he pushed her behind him, feeling stupid. Why was he protecting this girl when she could likely delete anyone in an instant? It wasn't the dead look in her eyes. It couldn't be.

The door to the dilapidated house opened as its hinges gave out at last, sending it to the dirt outside. It was a jarring sound, but Hiei was more concerned with the person who stepped inside.

"Mukuro," he growled, remaining tense. What was she doing here? She wasn't after Mei, was she? The fox demon's heavenly demonic energy was supposed to be suppressed by whatever trinket Kurama had given her. Had she come to find him, wondering why he was in Alaric when he'd asked for leave, not explaining the reason?

"Hiei.," Mukuro says, her voice cool and level. "I was on patrol when I sensed you in a place you have no business being. Dare I ask what brings you to this cursed place?"

"Cursed?" he asked, crossing his arms and positioning himself better in front of Mei. "Utter nonsense."

"Not to the poor soul whose life was lost near here 700 years ago. Ever since this place was destroyed, no one has been able to settle within 5 miles of it." Mukuro frowned. "Your friend looks unwell."

"She's not my friend," he growled. "And she's fine. We were just leaving."

"You did not answer my question, Hiei. What are you doing here?"

"Retrieving a useless keepsake."

"Is it really cursed?" Mei's voice behind him made Hiei flinch. She would choose now to speak, wouldn't she?

"I don't believe in curses," Mukuro said. "Someone has tainted the land with their energy. Someone very powerful for it to have lasted all this time."

Mei stepped out from behind Hiei, pressing her palms together, the locket dangling from between her fingers. "I didn't mean to."

Hiei caught the flicker of surprise in Mukuro's one good eye before she schooled her expression. Doubtless, she knew exactly what Mei was the moment she'd moved. What happened next, Hiei refused to take responsibility for. If Koenma hadn't forced someone to accompany the fox on these stupid fetch quests, this would not have happened.

"Intentions aside, it's been a blight on this country for some time."

"I can fix it," she said, her voice almost a bark, it was so sharp. "If you can mask my energy, I can fix it."

"I can manage that."

"This is ridiculous," Hiei growled. "You can't fix this hellhole. Not in the state you're in."

"I'm fine," Mei replied, narrowing her eyes at him. "I will do this." Sliding the locket around her neck, she walked past both of them and out of the house.

"You keep interesting company from me," Mukuro told Hiei as she followed.

"She's Kurama's pet," Hiei growled, stepping out into the day. The sky was cloudy, but it had been like that since they came in proximity of the burnt-out house. Was that part of the curse? No, that was nonsense. Utter nonsense. The earth beneath their feet was fallow because no one cared for the land, not because Mei did something to it some years ago. Nonsense.

"I wouldn't think a golden fox would answer to anyone," Mukuro said, gesturing for the eleven members of her patrol party to surround them.

"She...doesn't. She's difficult."

"Very descriptive."

"I don't think she answers to anyone but herself."

"I can appreciate that. It's better than being someone's dog."

Hiei grunted, keeping his eyes trained on Mei as she turned to face them. Or rather, the house behind them. There was nothing special about it, as far as Hiei could tell, but her expression was painful to see. It was like staring into a void, cold, empty, desperate. He almost wished for her dead eyes to return.

"Conceal me," she whispered, her voice soft, barely reaching Hiei and Mukuro from the mere feet away they stood.

"All right." Mukuro began to glow faintly, the light getting stronger and stronger, growing larger until it encircled herself, Mei, Hiei, and Mukuro's men. The other eleven demons did the same, the energy in the air so convoluted and jumbled that no one would be able to tell anyone apart from anyone else.

The air around them started to hum, Mei raising her palms to the sky as though checking for rain. The hum grew louder and louder, almost shrilling in Hiei's ears. Just when he thought his eardrums might burst, Mei fell to her knees, her other tails appearing as she braced herself against the earth. She was trembling, but whether from pain, fear, or exertion, Hiei could not tell.

Her fingers dug into the dirt, and the very ground began to shake and glow an unearthly shade of gold. A flash of light and a gust of wind knocked him off his feet, and when he opened his eyes, it was like he was in a different world. There was lush grass beneath him, a deep green that stretched as far as the eye could see. Trees lined the path they'd taken to get here, and he swore he could hear the babbling of a brook somewhere nearby. The sun was blinding.

When he had recovered from the shock, he found Mukuro helping Mei to her feet. The fox demon looked even worse than before with tears streaming down her cheeks. It was lucky this was the second item they'd come for because he didn't think she would be able to stand much longer.

"I'm not sure I believed in what you were at first," Mukuro said to Mei, frowning. "However, what you've done here is more than enough proof for me."

"I wasn't trying to prove anything," she whispered, wiping her eyes. "I just needed to right a wrong I'd left for too long. He wouldn't have liked what I did here. I just hope he can forgive me."

What was she on about now? Forgiveness? Hiei opened his mouth to say something, but the look Mukuro shot him made the words die on his tongue.

"I believe he already has," Mukuro said, putting her hand on Mei's shoulder. "You don't need to carry this burden with you any longer."

The fox nodded, saying, "Maybe not. But I can never forget."

"Don't. Those we lose live on in our memories."

What Mukuro did next made Hiei's jaw drop. The old king of Alaric bowed from the waist, deep and respectful to Mei. She held the pose long enough to make Hiei very uncomfortable before standing upright again.

"Thank you, Golden Fox. You've done me and this land a great service. I will not forget your kindness."

"I did nothing deserving of your words," Mei replied, shaking her head.

"Still." Mukuro extended a hand, saying, "I am Mukuro. It's been a pleasure to meet you…."

"Mei."

"Mei. Come visit me some time. I would love to see the full extent of your powers."

"Mm." Mei nodded, looking over at Hiei.

"We're leaving," he growled, walking forward and grabbing Mei's arm. "Come on."

"Mm."

…

This time, Kurama found Mei kneeling in front of the chest he'd made for her, her hands beneath her hair, fiddling with something around her neck. She looked up when he came in, giving him a weak smile it was clear she only just felt up to. Exhaustion radiated from every inch of her, and Kurama couldn't help but wonder what had happened today.

"Sit?" she asked, patting the spot beside her.

Kurama didn't have to be asked twice. He took his seat, watching as she removed a worn locket from around her neck. It was round, engraved with the kanji for Megami on its face. On the ground in front of her was a bead bracelet that she picked up, setting the locket down.

"My first real friends and I made these for each other. They died because they thought they could protect me. Much like you guys say you can."

Kurama wasn't going to argue this. Not tonight. She must have expected him to because she looked up at him with a slightly more real smile. "I'm much stronger now than I was back then. I won't let anything happen this time."

"Is that so?"

"Mm." She nodded, dropping the bracelet into the chest before turning to the locket. Kurama had expected her to pick it up, but instead, she just stared, swallowing hard.

"You don't have to share with me if it's too painful," he said.

"No, it's okay," she whispered. "If I don't do this now, I may never, and I...I want to do this for both of you."

 _Both of us?_

Mei picked up the locket, prying open the clasp. The hinges snapped, two halves of a locket laying in her palm. Inside was a lock of red hair. Mei took a deep breath, touching it once before looking up at Kurama.

"His name was Ranmaru. Ran. He was the first and only man I've ever loved."

 _A lover._ He hadn't expected that, but perhaps he should have. She'd been alive for nearly 1000 years, after all. It would have made sense for her to have had many. The fact that she'd only loved one man in her life meant this relationship had not ended well.

"He found me stranded in the woods after I'd run away from one of my captors. I'd already lost my eye, and I hadn't adjusted to the new one, so getting as far as I had had been a struggle." She shivered, balling her hand into a fist over the locket. "I was bleeding pretty heavily when he came across me. I'd already figured I was going to die, so I asked him to kill me quickly. Instead, he carried me away from that place and brought me back to his home. He nursed me back to health. He was so...so unbearably kind."

Mei paused here, swallowing hard. "I kept waiting for the attack. For the imprisonment or the abuse. They never came. By the time I was well enough to leave, I didn't want to. I'd fallen hard, and there was no coming back from it. Ran was a kitsune as well, only fifty years older than me. He was aligned with the earth, and he chose to use that for metallurgy. He made things that helped people, tools and toys that he would go to market to sell.

"The first time he made something for me, I cried. He was so worried he'd upset me, and it took me minutes before I could explain why I was crying. No one had been that kind to me in ages. And he was so, so kind." She laughed softly, the expression in her eyes sweet and full of love. Kurama hated that he was jealous of someone he'd never even met. The feeling passed, but he would remember its existence bitterly for some time.

"I'd never met anyone so bright, like he made his own sunlight. He was always smiling, always trying to make me do the same. He never got tired of me, never lost heart when I had my night terrors or fits. Ran was always there for me, and when he confessed he loved me, I cried again. I was the happiest I had ever been and would be for many centuries. We…."

She swallowed again, pressing her balled up fist to her chest. "We were going to exchange hoshi no tama."

"Your star balls?" Kurama asked, eyes wide. _They were that serious?_ It was incredibly foolish for a fox to exchange their source of power with anyone, even if they believed themselves to be in love. Nothing but perfect trust and understanding would ever allow Kurama to consider doing something like that. Even then, the risk was immense. If the other person left with his own hoshi no tama, he would be entirely powerless.

"We were going to spend the rest of our lives together." She said this like it was the simplest thing in the world. "Nothing was going to get in our way. I really believed that until...he didn't come home from the market one day. I waited. I waited all night, but he never came home. So, I decided to look for him."

Mei leaned forward, her hair falling over her shoulder and obscuring her face. "I... I should never have left that house, but I did. I followed his usual path until I caught the scent of blood. It led to a clearing that smelled like…." She pressed a hand to her mouth, tears forming in her eyes.

"It smelled like death. These two demons were sleeping beside a mangled corpse, and I couldn't believe it. I told myself it wasn't him, it couldn't have been him. That was when I saw his bag, the one Ran took to market with him. It had been upended, its contents all over the forest floor. They...they'd murdered him." Her voice broke on the last word, and it took everything Kurama had in him not to pull her into his arms. He got the sense this wasn't something she'd ever talked about before, and he had to let her get to the end. If he touched her now, it was likely she might not continue.

"I murdered them," she whispered, her words heavy with unshed tears. "I tore them to shreds, made their corpses indistinguishable from Ran's, but it didn't help. Nothing would bring him back. My grief...my pain swallowed me whole. I passed out in the clearing, and when I woke again, the earth was ruined. I'd tainted it in my unconsciousness, killing all of those trees, cursing the land so that nothing would grow there ever again."

Mei swallowed hard, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. "The corpses were gone. Ran...was gone. All that was left was...my locket." She unballed her fist, revealing the plain locket and the orange hair. "He'd said he wanted to make it better for me, prettier or something. I'd told him it was perfect, but he was always looking for ways to improve his work. I could never tell him no.

"I took the locket with his hair tucked inside, and I ran as long and as hard as I could from everyone and everything. And, I've never loved like that since. It was maybe 300 years later when I went back to that house and hid the locket under the floorboards so it would be safe." She looked up at him at last, saying, "You're very different from Ran, in a lot of ways. But, you too are unbearably kind." Then, she let out a sob that startled her so much that she jumped. Once started, she couldn't stop the tears that flowed, and Kurama finally found he could hold her.

He pulled her into his arms, letting her cry as long and as hard as she needed to, and even when the sobs turned to little tremors, he didn't release her, just pressed his cheek to the top of her head and rubbed her back gently. Once she'd cried all she could, he let her pull away, but only a little.

"I'm not Ran," he said, keeping his voice soft. She flinched at the sound of her old lover's name, but he didn't release her. He knew if he let her go now, he might really lose her to these old scars. "I'm not kind, and I don't deserve the love you gave him. However, I have every intention of finding my own place in your heart. I hope one day to earn your love for myself."

Mei butted her head against his chest, and he let out a surprised breath. "You are exhausting, Kurama."

"Exhausting?"

"We promised we would try and keep things as before. This is hardly the kind of relationship we had last week."

"Would you like me to let you go?" he asked, smiling wryly as he looked into her eyes.

"No," she mumbled, her free hand gripping the fabric of his shirt. "Never, Kurama."

"Then I won't." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, saying, "I don't think we've had a single day where we've kept that promise since we made it."

"No. We haven't." She didn't say anything more, and Kurama shook his head, smiling to himself. This woman didn't pull any punches. Not that he minded. Her candid nature was something he'd grown very fond of over the past three weeks.

Mei extricated herself from his arms, and he watched as she placed the two halves of the locket and the lock of hair in the chest. She closed the lid, getting to her feet and offering him a hand. He took it, and she pulled him up, taking a step back. "I think I could love you, Kurama."

She might as well have confessed to him for all that the words took the breath right out of him. He was speechless. Never mind that no woman he'd cared for had ever said those words to him, but after everything he'd just learned about Mei, the fact that she'd said them…. This week couldn't end fast enough. He needed to be able to hold her without the guilt of their situation weighing on him.

Just four more days.

…

Kuwabara was entirely at a loss. The library at Koenma's place in Spirit World was just too damn big. Even if Kuwabara had found the scroll Mei was looking for, it was possible he wouldn't know. Everything from 900 years ago was written in cursive or in old kanji he couldn't understand.

"Here, Kuwabara, maybe these will help." Botan passed him a pair of glasses, and he grimaced.

"These are gonna make me look like a nerd, I just know it."

"Well, the other option is a crash course in Heian Era Japanese, you'll have to deal with it." Botan slid some specs over her own eyes, and Kuwabara sighed as he did the same.

"I'll pass. Mei, you're sure about this?" After swiping a shingle from a roof in Demon World without drawing suspicion from anyone in the village, Kuwabara didn't mind the change of pace. This was basically deskwork, nothing particularly life-threatening aside from Koenma's bad mood.

"Positive." Mei was sitting across from the toddler king who frequently looked her way, fidgeting almost constantly. Occasionally, Mei would stare back, and he would get up, making some excuse like needing to go to the bathroom. Kuwabara had always figured he was still in diapers. How old was Koenma again? He couldn't remember.

"Why must you stare at me like that?" Koenma snapped at Mei.

She didn't respond right away, but when she finally did, it was to say, "Because it makes you uncomfortable."

Kuwabara had to clamp both hands over his mouth to stifle his laughter as Mei got to her feet and brushed past him, reaching for another box of scrolls. Botan hid her face with her sleeves, but Kuwabara knew she was fighting back her amusement as well. Mei had gotten much better at handling people over the past month, opening up to Kuwabara this morning about what it was they were looking for and why. The shingle had belonged to the first place she'd called home after changing into a fox demon. The scroll...her first bill of sale.

Apparently, when official documents were cut in any of the three worlds, Spirit World automatically got a copy of them. It had something to do with the invention and marketing of various writing systems, some deal Spirit World had made with the other worlds, whatever. Kuwabara hadn't really understood the finer details, but he didn't need to. All he had to do was find this paper for Mei.

"Hey, is this it?" a voice asked from beneath a pile of scrolls. A blue fist emerged from the debris, a paper in its grasp.

"Ooh, let's see!" Botan chirped, taking the scroll from Jorge but not uncovering him. Kuwabara got to his feet and started shoveling papers off of the ogre. "This...this might be it." The grim reaper's expression fell as she turned to Mei.

The fox took the scroll, looking it over. "It is." She smiled wryly, surprising everyone gathered. It was the first time Kuwabara had seen anything close to amusement on her face all day. When he'd met her at Kurama's this morning, she'd looked like she was coming down with something, but a bit of exercize had brought some color back into her. That smile made her seem more alive, but it chilled him to the bone.

"What kind of sick person sells another person?" Kuwabara asked as he finally extricated Jorge and made his way to where Mei was standing. She passed the paper to him, and his glasses made the fancy script legible. "For sale of one fox demon to Kujo Suzaku." There was more, but his stomach churned and he couldn't bring himself to read it.

"The kind who wants to profit. The latest king of Demon World has outlawed the sale of slaves, but King Enma frequently had his hands in things like this. Encouraged them." Mei's smile grew cold, her eyes empty as she said, "This was the first time I realized I had become chattel. Property. I was bought and sold often after that. It took centuries for me to understand my own power and break free from the cycle."

"My father was not a great man," Koenma said, sighing from where he sat among his documents. "I am sorry that you suffered under his rule."

"I do not care for my own struggles," she told him, the smile falling from her face as she looked his way. "All I care for is that this kind of thing doesn't happen again. Or for those responsible to suffer." That last word filled the room with a sense of foreboding, chilling everyone present. Mei had lived a long, miserable life. Who knew just how many people she'd exacted revenge upon? Who knew who might be next if they crossed her?

"I have been striving to change the systems the last king thrived under," Koenma replied when he'd finally regained his breath. "I only want the three worlds to succeed in ways they couldn't before."

"I look forward to your plans," Mei said, taking the scroll and leaving the room.

"She's not even going to help clean?" Jorge asked when she was out of earshot.

"No, I think that's left to you, Ogre," Koenma replied, running a hand over his face and ignoring his employee's groan.

…

Mei and Kurama spent most of the night talking. She told him about her shingle and her scroll, and this time, in exchange he told her about his past and his time as the infamous Yoko Kurama. Which she thought was a silly moniker. All kitsune were yoko. When she told him this, he laughed, saying the term had gotten lost in translation. Apparently, he'd been a pretty famous thief for a long time, but Mei had never heard of him. Then again, when he was in his prime, she was busy barely surviving. That took a lot out of a person.

So, Kurama told her about his exploits, heists he'd pulled, people he'd killed, his partnership with Yomi and how he betrayed him. Mei listened, hanging on his every word, which shouldn't have surprised him. Even when they'd met and she pretended she didn't care, he could tell she was listening.

As the night wore on, they got closer and closer, starting from opposite ends of the loveseat in Kurama's living room and ending with her falling asleep on his shoulder, her hand entwined in his. If Kurama had been a stronger man, he might have carried her to her bed and gone to his own, keeping his distance like they'd failed to do so far. But after sharing so many of his secrets, he was tired, and he didn't want to be alone.

He would allow himself a few hours of sleep. Then, he would wake and make breakfast so they could start another day. His day. The one where he would have to face Mei's nightmares at their sources.

...

I don't know what I expected out of this week, but sobbing my eyes out over the people I've lost was not part of the plan. It's been centuries since I even allowed myself to think about Ran, let alone cried over him. And then I went and told Kurama he reminded me of him. That's exactly what a new partner wants to hear, that they remind you of your old one.

At least he'd reacted well, and we spent most of last night together. I hadn't expected him to tell me stories of his past, but the amount of trust and vulnerability he showed weigh on me. Is it possible that this can actually work? Will this be okay?

 _Megami, huh? That's kind of a heavy name. Do you mind if I call you Mei?_

"Mei? Mei?"

I jump at the sound of my name, eyes wide as I stare at Kurama. "S-sorry, what?"

"Are you all right?" he asks, frowning. We've been walking through this town for maybe ten minutes now, and I still haven't told Kurama exactly where it is we're going. I'd debated with myself whether it would be better to just come out with it or let him see for himself. In the end, cowardice won out.

"I'm fine," I say, giving him the best smile I can manage. I've been feeling more and more exhausted as the week has worn on, and I know the guys have noticed. There's nothing I can do about it but keep moving forward. I don't have time to be sick. Just one more place and two items. I'd thought this would be the worst, but clearly I'd been repressing Ranmaru much harder than I'd realized.

"If you're sure." He doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't ask again.

"It's just around the corner," I say, gesturing ahead. "Since it's so early, it probably won't be open."

"Early?" Kurama frowns, and I know what he's thinking. It's one in the afternoon. What kind of establishment thinks that's early?

When we make the next turn, the relatively quiet town starts to show signs of bustling. There are people running to and fro, keeping their heads down as they move, not looking at me or Kurama. Most of the buildings here are nondescript save for one at the end of the street. It's a massive, multi-story mansion with no front-facing balconies on the windows. I know there are plenty on the sides and the back, however. The purple walls and black balustrades are all too familiar. It's been centuries, but I could never forget the time I spent here.

"Mei." Kurama grabs my hand, making me stop walking as he stares at the building before us. "You're sure this is the right place?"

"Mm." I nod, pulling him forward. "The famous _Haru no hana_ pleasure house." Kurama doesn't say anything more for which I'm grateful. I don't want to know how he might be judging me right now. I just need to make it through another day.

When we reach the front door of the establishment, a pair of spirits materialize in front of us. Shikigami, by the look of them. They wear identical noh masks and kimono and only stand as tall as my waist. Even so, I can sense the power behind them. Their conjurer must be powerful.

"Esteemed patrons…." the one on the right chirps.

"We open when the sun sets…." the one on the left finishes.

"We're not patrons," I say. "I seek Mistress Chiyo."

The shikigami exchange a glance before the one on the right asks, "Who seeks our mistress?"

"She answers to no one," the one on the left adds.

"Megamichi," I say, grimacing at the old name.

They look at one another again for a long moment, and I have to resist the urge to sigh. Time is running out. I don't have the luxury of waiting for them to decide this.

"We will tell her," the two say as one before disappearing into thin air.

Thoroughly vexing. I cross my arms, tapping my foot against the ground. My head is spinning a little, my breath heavy. I need this to be over with before I lose my strength...and my nerves.

The doors to the mansion swing wide, and a woman appears, a stern expression on her face. "Come in. Quickly."

We do as she asks, Kurama taking my hand in his. He's very close, and his grip on me is tight. I'm sure he's got some idea as to why we're here. Maybe I should have told him sooner so he wouldn't jump to conclusions. It's too late now.

"Megamichi." My attention is captured once again by the woman who let us in. She's aged considerably since I saw her last, her once lovely face now more matronly than maidenly. Her kimono is simple, black with deep purple accents, much more subdued than what she wore when I was here and much simpler than what her girls wear. Despite her age, her eyes are as sharp as they ever were, glinting yellow in the low light.

"Mistress Chiyo," I reply, bowing slightly.

"I knew I would see you again," Mistress Chiyo says, a tired smile stretching across her worn face. Her tanuki ears twitch in amusement, poking up from above her silver hair. It was still a tawny brown when I knew her. "What brings you here? And with such a handsome young man. If you aren't careful, one of the girls may try their tricks on him."

"I'm not worried for him," I say, giving Kurama a small smile. He tries to return it, but I can see tension in his brow and concern in his eyes. "Mistress, do you still have the collar?" I ask, squeezing Kurama's hand. He squeezes back, and I have to resist the urge to lean on him just a little.

"Of course. You asked me to, after all."

"I hardly expected you to adhere to a request made over 800 years ago."

Mistress Chiyo laughs, shaking her head as she gestures for us to follow her. "If that were the case, you wouldn't be here now."

She has a point. I don't respond, however, merely let her lead us through these old, familiar halls. The lamps are turned down, making it difficult to see if you don't know your way. This part of the house is only meant for the servants, the girls, and Mistress Chiyo, anyhow.

We stop at a door for the mistress to produce a ring of keys from her obi, flicking through them for one that fits the lock. She opens the door and we follow her into another room full of odds and ends. There are countless pegs on the walls, many of which house ropes, chains, and collars. On the ground are stuffed animals, articles of clothing, knives and swords, and countless other things.

"This is where I keep the things my girls wish to leave behind when they come to me," Mistress Chiyo says, casting her gaze around the room with a sigh. "There are so many memories here. Some good. Some bad." Clapping her hands together, she says, "Now, where is it." She wades through the items on the ground, heading for one of the walls. After about a minute or so, she pulls a collar down and makes her way back to me. "There you are."

I take it from her, the leather cold in my hands. It's cracked and worn with age, but I know it's mine. "My slave collar." The ties at either end hang loosely, just barely attached, and I can't help but remember how they would tighten whenever I did something my master disapproved of. That was...often. I lift the collar to my neck, half-wondering if it still fits.

"Don't." Kurama grabs the hand holding the collar, his grip almost painful. His eyes are filled with sorrow, and I swallow hard, surprised at both him and myself.

"I wasn't going to put it on," I mumble, and he releases me, turning away.

"I am sorry," he says, running a hand over his face. "I'm still processing this."

 _Stupid girl. You should have told him before coming here._ It was cruel of me not to warn him. Mistress Chiyo is watching him closely, and when I meet her eyes, she gives me an appraising look.

"You would have been here the only time I ever came."

Kurama's words knock the breath from me, and it takes me a few seconds to recover. "You…?"

"Once, in my spirit fox days. It sickens me to think that...that I could have…."

"Purchased her services?" Mistress Chiyo asks, shaking her head. "She was a very highly priced girl. I doubt you could have afforded her."

"There was nothing I could not afford back then," he says, narrowing his eyes at the mistress.

"Please," I say, taking his hand in mine again. "Kurama, it's all right. You didn't."

"Yoko Kurama." Mistress Chiyo nods her head, saying, "I recall the night you spent here. Your eyes were dangerous. I would not have allowed you near Megamichi even if you'd given me all the gold in Demon World."

"Strong words for the owner of a brothel," Kurama replies, his words sharp.

"Please!" I bark, stopping Mistress from replying. "Kurama. Mistress Chiyo saved my life. She saves many lives, every day."

He looks incredulous, but he doesn't challenge me. "I'm sorry. I-"

"You're still processing," I say, pocketing the collar and taking his other hand in mine. "Can I tell you my story?" He nods, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. I take that as my cue to begin.

"I came to Mistress Chiyo in the dead of night when this place came alive. I'd been on the run from my master, a man I'd been sold to for an exorbitant amount of money, seeking nothing but shelter. Mistress offered me more than just a roof over my head. She offered me an escape. The only way I could be free of him would be to buy myself. So, she took me in as one of her girls, trained me and then auctioned me off to the highest bidder." I pause, swallowing hard. It sounds kind of stupid, thinking back. Maybe there had been other ways to do it, but I'd been so desperate to escape.

"A virgin golden fox," Mistress Chiyo continues for me. "The bids were ridiculous. The auction was very private, so only the richest of my patrons knew about it. We kept Megamichi as safe as we could, and I made sure that the winner wasn't some thug who would rape her and be done. The final bid was 100 billion yen. More than enough to pay for her freedom."

"The man who won had the privilege of cutting my slave collar," I say. "He'd made it look so easy, removing a thing that had caused me decades of pain. And then he removed one last thing that I wouldn't have to worry about being used against me." I shrug, unable to meet Kurama's eyes as I say this. "I'd long since lost any romantic notions about sex. All I wanted was to choose my own terms. And, I did."

"Megamichi worked here for a few years after that," Mistress Chiyo says, "saving up money of her own."

"Until I got kidnapped in the streets," I murmur, sighing. _Again._

"I put that money away for you," Mistress says. "If you're interested."

I blink in surprise, shaking my head. "W-why?"

"Because it wasn't mine. I take in girls from bad situations and give them a chance to earn better ones. I'm not in this to make money."

Well then. "I'll worry about that next time. I've got one more thing I need."

"And what is that?"

"Is there still a garden here?"

"Of course. Shall I take you there?"

I look up at Kurama who won't meet my eyes, saying, "I remember the way. Thank you, Mistress. For everything."

"Come back for your money when you can," she says, smiling. "And hold onto him. If you've found someone worth keeping, keep him."

"Right." I nod, dropping Kurama's hands so I can bow very low to Mistress Chiyo. "Thank you again."

She bows in return, and then I lead Kurama from the room. He doesn't say anything as we walk, and I'm worried that maybe I won't get the option to hold onto him. Maybe this was too much. Maybe learning that I once worked in a brothel was just….

I push open some glass doors and Kurama practically pushes me through them, closing the doors behind us before pulling me into his arms. "K-kurama!" I gasp, my hands fisting in his shirt.

"I'm sorry, Mei." His voice is soft, gentle, and I find myself tucking my head into his chest. "I reacted poorly, and I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I tell him, trying to take slow, steady breaths. "I should have warned you."

"I wouldn't have expected you to," he says, his breath stirring my hair. "Mei, I need to tell you that this changes nothing." He pulls back, his green eyes locking with mine as he says, "I still like you, and I still want to be with you."

I blink back tears, reaching between us to wipe my eyes. "You're touching me again."

"I know." He rests his forehead against mine, saying, "I can't seem to stop."

"Don't."

We stand like that for a while, just listening to our breathing, the wind in the trees, and the sound of running water not far off. When a wave of exhaustion hits me, I buckle in Kurama's arms, and he holds me upright, alarm flashing across his face.

"Mei?"

"We need to hurry," I murmur, pushing off from him. He reluctantly lets me go, and I turn, looking out into the garden. It's lush, very green for the tail end of summer, and there are plenty of flowers blooming. I grab a white lily, turning to find Kurama still waiting by the door. He doesn't ask me what the flower symbolizes, but I know he knows.

When I make my way back over to him, he takes me by the hand, saying, "Ready to go home?"

 _Home._ That word has meant so many things so many different times. Is it safe for me to call this man home?

"I'm ready."

* * *

 **A/N** : This was easily the second hardest thing I've ever written. Like, ever. I made the mistake of falling in love with a character I knew was going to die, yet again. I do this a lot. I know this was a chunky exposition dump, and it's weird that I didn't tell much of it in Mei's POV, but I honestly couldn't. If I'd stayed in her mindset for that long, I don't think I would have come out of it unscathed. Besides, I don't think she was doing a lot of thinking here. Just a lot of suffering.

Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing. I promise I read all the reviews and appreciate them very much.


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